Apparently I'm Not The Only One Feeling This Way
To say I have mixed feelings about Apple is putting it mildly. On the positive side, I love most Apple products — the MacBook Air is my go-to laptop, I think the iPhone 6 is the best all-around smartphone on the market, and I'm seriously pumped about the prospects of the new Apple TV. Apple also has a well-earned reputation for customer care that is part of why it enjoys such strong loyalty among its customer base.
But unfortunately, Apple isn't just about making great products and having terrific customer service — it's also about feeding us gigantic piles of bullshit that it expects us to swallow without question.
What really drove this home for me yesterday was the ridiculous way that Apple went about describing its new Apple Pencil, the stylus it's designed for the new iPad Pro tablet. Even if we leave aside the fact that Steve Jobs infamously trashed styluses on two different occasions, the hyperbole that Apple used to describe the $99 pen was practically Samsung-esque. Phil Schiller called Apple Pencil "one of the most advanced technologies we've created," while Jony Ive narrated a silly two-minute video dedicated entirely to explaining why the Apple Pencil was the most magical stylus the world has ever seen.
Let's be honest: If Samsung had dedicated an entire two-minute video, complete with drippy New Age synth music, to explaining the game-changing features of the Galaxy Note 5's stylus, the world would still be laughing at them. And that's especially true if Samsung decided to sell the Note 5's stylus as a separate accessory that cost 99 freaking dollars.
And speaking of $99 styluses, is there any other company that does so many ticky-tack things designed to extract more money from its loyal fans than Apple? It's well within Apple's means to offer a 32GB iPhone 6s as the entry-level option but the company figures it will offer a mere 16GB entry-level model to push fans to pay an extra $100 for the 64GB version. This is despite the fact that Samsung and other major smartphone rivals stopped selling 16GB smartphones generations ago.
And you know that cool new Apple TV remote control that also doubles as a Wii-style game controller? Well if you want a Wii-style loop that you can attach to the controller and wrap around your wrist to prevent it from flying into the TV, you'll have to pay extra. And remember when Apple switched from a 30-pin dock connector to a 9-pin dock connector and it didn't include any adapters with new iPhones but instead sold them separately for $29 a pop?
Oh, and who can forget last year's iPad mini 3, which had the exact same specs as the iPad mini 2 and was different from thee earlier model only because Apple gave it Touch ID functionality?
This has turned into a much more negative rant against Apple than I had originally intended. As I said earlier, I love many of the company's products and I think they are worth the money Apple charges for them. However, I also feel that the company's reality distortion field often blinds people to the fact that it is often embarrassingly full of shit."
Bull. Shit.
Stop this planet. I want to get off.
Mythopolis
Mythopolis from Alexandra Hetmerova on Vimeo.
Anal Retentive
I'll admit that I'm anal retentive. It's gotten worse as I've gotten older, but it's proven a valuable asset in my career. All my supervisors have commented on how they know they can give me a task and know that it will be done—and done correctly. If I have to catalog or inventory something at work, I'm in my Happy Place.
I know at times this drives Ben to distraction (or at least bemused laughter), but at least I come by it honestly. Having been raised by an architect and an interior designer who both demanded a clean, uncluttered home environment, it left an indelible mark on this boy's psyche. My own years in the architectural profession added to that and taught me about design, balance, and color. That is why I will get up from the sofa to straighten an out-of-kilter painting on the wall, move some object two inches to the left, or why I prefer the blinds to be pointed one direction instead of the other.
One of the biggest lessons I've had to learn over the past seven years with Ben, however is that I can't always have it all my own way where matters of our domicile are concerned. Fortunately we're both flexible and can compromise (I'm earth tones and Ben is bright colors which makes things interesting), but clutter is the one thing that still makes me crazy. There are times I look around our place and realize that there isn't a single horizontal surface that doesn't have something stacked on it.
Things could be worse. I could be a hoarder. Or is the fact that I'm a such neat-nick actually the polar opposite of that and in need of a television intervention?
But I digress.
One of the outlets for my obsessive compulsiveness is recreating the meme graphics I find on the internet. By the time I see them they've been copied and resampled dozens of times and the quality is usually pretty crappy by that point. This bothers me. I love the messages they're conveying, but the fact that in most cases they look like shit is annoying as hell. I want to share the fun far and wide, but I'm not going to repost something that looks like that.
So I track down the original graphics and thanks to my mediocre Photoshop skills, I create a fresh copy of whatever meme it is that's captured my attention.
Ben thinks this is all very amusing.
The first one I redid was Rupaul commenting on the 2012 election:
Then the infamous "then idiots happen."
Sometimes I have to make compromises. Finding the original background images can be difficult. Case in point, "Dear Vladimir." I was unable to locate the original parchment background or the matching font (at least for free), so I had to make some changes.
"OOH GIRL!" and "Bobby's 12 Fucks" (my most recent) are two more examples. It took quite a bit of time with the Google to find the original background images for those…
Harmless fun I suppose. It allows me to channel a bit of my creativity since I still haven't acclimated back to Phoenix summer heat enough yet that I can be out wandering around the city taking photos…as much as I'd love to.
Half Empty or Half Full?
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don't try to convince me that
There's something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don't last.
And it's not true that
It's all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one's surroundings are good
It's not that that good exists
I'm sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It's all beyond my control
And you'll never in a million years hear me say
Today was a good day
Now read from bottom to top.
Yup.
Word.
Quote of the Day
There's one more thing you better understand. I have taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture – I can even pat myself on the back when necessary – all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life." ~ Arnold Beckoff (Harvey Fierstein, in Torch Song Trilogy)
Quote of the Day
You are not here…
You are not here just to fill space or be a background character in someone else's life.
Consider this: Nothing would be the same if you did not exist. Every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you.
We are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.
Mirror Mirror On The Wall (NSFW)
And Down the Rabbit Hole We Go
I've been going some very strange places on the interwebs today.
For Reference
Solar
The one take-away from last week's extended power failure following the massive storm that rolled through central Phoenix is this: if we ever buy this house (or any house, for that matter) Ben and I will be installing solar panels with a battery backup.
For the life of me, I still cannot understand why every roof in the southwest United States—and especially in Phoenix—is not covered with them.
Oh yeah…it's because the oil and gas industry is not going to relinquish control of energy production on that scale until the last drop of fossil fuel is sucked from the ground; and even then I'm sure they're going to find some way to impede the wide scale implementation of solar wherever they can.
Y'know, kind of like the way the rest of the civilized world has cheap, blazingly-fast internet and most the rural United States is still stuck with DSL and dialup.
'Murica! Exceptionalism!
Fun!
We saw Man from U.N.C.L.E. today.
From the trailer it looked fun…
…and it didn't disappoint.
I remember the television series from when I was a kid, but I don't recall ever actually watching much of it. Perhaps it was because the storylines were too adult, or it lacked the cool gadgets of Mission Impossible or the silly, slapstick humor of Get Smart. In any case I can't draw any comparisons between the old and new.
The movie got off to a rather slow start, but as Ben pointed out, I think that's because they needed to do some character building before getting into the heat of the action. It picked up the pace about a third of the way in, and it was a great combination of thrills and sly humor from there on out.
Of course, it didn't hurt that the leads—Arnie Hammer and Henry Cavill—were hot as hell. Annie especially conjures impure thoughts; very impure thoughts.
When the film ended it left me wanting more, and I always consider that an accurate indicator of how good a movie is. (But then, I was among the dozen or so people on the planet who liked Jupiter Ascending, so take it for what you will.) Naturally, the story was was left open for a sequel, and I for one look forward to sharing more adventures with Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin.
(Another) Quote of the Day
So when people like Huckabee and Cruz come to Davis's defense, they're not standing for religious liberties. They're advocating for someone's ability to use her role as a government official to impose her religion on others, including people on her own staff, in a way that discriminates against same-sex couples. If that doesn't violate the separation of church and state enshrined in the Constitution, I'm not sure what does." ~ German Lopez
Quote of the Day
No one is being jailed for practicing her religion. Someone's being jailed for using the government to force others to practice her religion." ~ Rachael Held Evans
Shut Up, and Do Your Motherf&%*ing Job
BOOM!
Bitch wants to be a Martyr for Jeebus©? Let her.
Look at that glare she's giving the camera. There's no Christian love there. Defiant cunt.
What We're Currently Watching
In no particular order:
Zoo (CBS) This show started out with an interesting premise: that the animals are done with our shit and they're doing something about it. Unfortunately, the show just isn't panning out. I won't go so far as to say it's completely jumped the shark, but, well… it's a good thing James Wolk is pretty.
The Strain (FX) Pleasantly surprised by this one. What would you do during a Zombie Vampire Apocalypse? The Strain is relatively slow burn and some reviewers have called it "plodding" but I think it's moving along at a good enough pace to keep the interest up. The cinematography is beautiful (as expected with anything Guillermo Del Toro has a hand in), but as seems to be the norm in this sort of show these days, some of the characters do incredibly stupid things. Additionally, the the writers have left gaping holes unpatched (How exactly did the main character get back from Washington DC into to a quarantined New York City after being shot with such relative ease?). But there's a lot of good backstory exposition outlining how the creatures came came to be…and Corey Stoll is pretty.
Under the Dome (CBS) Initially, this was an interesting and entertaining way to spend an hour every week, but it this season the writers not only jumped the shark, they've gone to airline cruising altitude. It's pretty bad when I learned this morning there are only two more episodes until the series conclusion (not just the season's) and I thought, "Praise the Baby Jeebus!" So why am I sticking through until the bitter end? Mike Vogel is pretty.
The Whispers (ABC) A decent cast headlined by Lily Rabe and Barry Sloane with an interesting storyline has kept us engaged. "Unseen forces use unwitting human children to achieve their nefarious ends." As of last week we still don't know what their nefarious ends are (I haven't seen the season finale yet), but Barry Sloane is pretty.
Fear the Walking Dead (AMC) I'm giving this one the benefit of the doubt, despite its glacially slow first episodes. What did the world look like as it was transforming into the horrifying apocalypse depicted in The Walking Dead? I realize that as viewers we have the advantage of knowing—unlike the show's characters—what's going down and simply want it all to hurry up and happen, but I'm hoping the payoff will be that through the extended character building we actually come to care about them the way we do in The Walking Dead. So far I'm not impressed by the drug-addict teen (who physically reminds me way too much of Johnny Depp) or his angst-ridden sister, but like I said, I'm willing to see where this goes. And let's be honest: until The Walking Dead returns, what else is there to watch Sunday night?
The Walking Dead (AMC) Needs no commentary. If you don't know what this is, you've been living under a rock the last five years.
Talking Dead (AMC) Immediately follows The Walking Dead to recap that night's episode. And it's anchored by Chris Hardwick—whom I have impure thoughts about.
At Midnight with Chris Hardwick (Comedy Central) Chris Hardwick. Duh. (Even if Ron Funches—who I don't find funny at all and is annoying as hell—always wins when he's on.)
Rizzoli & Isles (TNT) Yeah, I know this one is a little out of place in this sci-fi heavy lineup, but I do like Sasha Alexander. I loved her as Kate on NCIS, and I think this character gave her the opportunity to bring her own personal brand of "Ducky" (from NCIS) to the role. And Jordan Bridges is pretty. MOAR SHIRTLESS JORDAN BRIDGES PLEASE!
Masters of Sex (SHO) The first couple seasons were hot and steamy, and did a great job of bringing the story of William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson and their groundbreaking (and very scandalous for its time), Human Sexual Response to the small screen. The series was rooted in the repressive 1950s and rang true on so many levels, but as the story has progressed beyond the publishing of the book and into the 1960s, it seems to be grasping for direction—openly flashing a disclaimer before every episode that the characters of the children are entirely fictitious. I'm still watching, but it seems to be turning more and more into a soap opera, and I'm rapidly losing interest in (or caring about any of) the characters. In real life, we know Masters and his wife eventually divorced and he married Johnson, but while the onscreen story seems to be heading in that direction, it's taking way too many detours.
Ripper Street (BBC) I love these period BBC dramas, although for the life of me I have no idea what's actually happened to this program. According to the website it's still on, but we missed the first couple episodes this season and it seems to have completely disappeared from our lineup, which is a shame. Because Matthew MacFadyen and his awesome sideburns is pretty. But unfortunately, not pretty enough that I want to spend $2.00 per episode to catch up.
Deutschland 83 (Sundance) This is an eight-episode German television series starring Jonas Nay as a 24-year-old native of East Germany who in 1983 is sent to the West as an undercover spy for the Stasi. I've made it through about two episodes thus far. I like it enough to keep going, but it's definitely not one of those shows I call "background noise" (and not only because I have to pay attention to the subtitles since my memory of German only allows me to pick out a word here and there). You need to pay attention to follow what's going on; definitely not something that can done if you're sitting with your laptop in the evening reading tweets and downloading pr0n.
Mr. Robot (USA) This show is OFF. THE. RAILS. (And I love it.)
Humans (AMC) While the season just ended, I have to include it here because it was one of my favorite shows of the summer. It presented our near-future in the most realistic, believable way I've ever seen portrayed. The scenarios under which the human characters interacted with the "synths" resonated and were simply believable.
Extant (CBS) This is one of those shows that started out with a very interesting premise and after a great first season, totally jumped the shark and went into low earth orbit in season two. I think the problem is that they were trying too hard to tie together disparate storylines and ended up turning it into one incomprehensible WTF mess. (See also: Murder in the First.)
Quote of the Day
Donald Trump is trying to insult his way to the presidency. It's not gonna work. People want an uplifting, hopeful message. People come to this country to pursue their dreams. Sometimes they start without speaking English. But they learn English. And they add vitality to our country.
To say you can only speak English is kind of ridiculous, if you think about it….This is a diverse country. We should celebrate that diversity and embrace a set of shared values. Mr. Trump doesn't believe in those shared values. He wants to tear us down. He doesn't believe in tolerance. He doesn't believe in the things that have created the greatness of this country. ~ Jeb Bush (Someone whom I never thought I'd find myself quoting.)
Hell's Club
So much awesome…