Month: September 2018

Okay, I admit that I get recruiter emails for jobs that I just don't want because of a horrific commute or because I lack the proper skill set, but the jobs themselves are at least tangentially related to I.T. support.

But not this one! It was so far out there that I have to repost it. It was obvious the dude didn't even bother READING my resume, but instead—like so many of his offshore brethren—simply did an automated word search, made a hit and fired off this absolutely ridiculous email without bothering to read further. And to be clear, NOWHERE on ANY of my profiles on the job boards I'm using, does "Maintenance Mechanic," "willing to relocate," or "3rd shift" appear.

I wouldn't work third shift when I was 25; I'm sure as hell not working it now.

Hi Mark,

This is Naimesh from ProKatchers and I am writing to you regarding an excellent job opportunity that I have with one of my premier client located in Chicago, Illinois. If you are interested in this job opportunity, you can reach out to me on my email or call me directly.

Job Title: Maintenance Mechanic
Location: 2945 West 31st Street Chicago, Illinois, 604
Duration: 12 Months (Possible Temp to Hire for the right person)
Shift: 3rd Shift 10pm to 6:15 am

Job Description:

● This position will be primarily concerned with ongoing maintenance and repair of equipment.
● Receives directions from Maintenance Supervisors, Maintenance Manager and Production Supervisors.
● Works independently in addressing operation needs and completing assigned work.
● May work under the guidance of another mechanic during probationary stage. Essential functions of the job include but are not limited to the following: *Not all functions are applicable on a daily basis.
● Rotations of the following functions may occur accordingly depending on business needs
● Troubleshooting [magic word! send an email!]packaging equipment problems and taking appropriate corrective action.
● Performs complex preventive maintenance of plant equipment and locates potential problems
● Performs complex electrical circuit installations for additions / modifications. Ability to read and understand blueprints & schematics for properly testing equipment.
● From work orders, drawings, specifications, schematics, sketches, and verbal instruction, performs complex maintenance repairs, fabrication, and rebuilding of shop, field, and plant equipment.
● Demonstrates the ability to troubleshoot, adjust, and repair most plant equipment, without supervision.
● Performs complex horizontal and vertical welding, fabricating, silver soldering, hard facing, braising using acetylene, arc, mig and tig welder on most ferrous and nonferrous metals.
● Able to properly use machine shop fabrication machines such as lathe, mill, grinder, drill press, brake, and press to fabricate machine replacement parts or new equipment.
● Tests, adjusts, modifies and maintains digital and logic circuitry, microprocessor controlled devices, elements and components such as programmable logic controllers, process control equipment, metering devices, recorders, sensors, and controllers.
● Prepares purchase requests for parts and materials required to perform preventive and corrective assigned tasks
● Overhauls, maintains, installs, adjusts, inspects and repairs a wide variety of plant equipment
● Be able to train maintenance personnel
● Able to use Infra-Red Camera to do predictive electrical troubleshooting repairs.
● Maintaining packaging equipment in optimum operating condition.
● Working with and supporting packaging operators in problem resolution.
● Equipment lubrication.
● Repairing packaging equipment to standards and specifications.
● Able to use computer [Magic word! Send an email!] to fill out work orders for Maintenance Management ● System (SAP)
● Other duties as assigned based on skill and knowledge level.
● Must comply with all applicable food laws, regulations and food safety requirements.
● Must comply with Company Policies, as well as, promotes safety and safe work conditions.
● Must comply, promote and maintain an environment consisted with Security regulations
Must be able to interact with facility employees and management.

Skills Required:

● Should be familiar with operation of packaging equipment (i.e Hayssens, Erectors, Sealers).
● Verifiable reading and writing ability.
● Conversant in English (Spanish ability desired).
● Basic electrical knowledge.
● Demonstrable proficiency in use of hand tools (screwdriver, pliers, hammer, and wrenches).
● Demonstrable proficiency in practical arithmetic.
● Experience with from/fill/seal (Hayssens), erector, sealers.
● Demonstrate proficiency in use of portable power tools (hand drill, grinder).
● Working knowledge of electrical systems, Computer Operated Processing Systems and Programmable Logic Controllers;

Experience Required:

● Arc welding of low carbon steel
● Gas welding techniques
● HVAC
● Use of plumbing and pipe fitting tools; pipe fitting techniques
● Pneumatic systems
● Hydraulic systems
● Measuring instruments
● Blue print reading
● Basic carpentry
● Basic masonry
● Pump repair
● Gear box repair
● Seal installation

Experience Preferred:

● Should be familiar with operation of packaging equipment (i.e Hayssens,  Erectors, Sealers).
● Verifiable reading and writing ability.
● Conversant in English (Spanish ability desired).
● Basic electrical knowledge.
● Demonstrable proficiency in use of hand tools (screwdriver, pliers, hammer, and wrenches).
● Demonstrable proficiency in practical arithmetic.
● Experience with from/fill/seal (Hayssens), erector, sealers.
● Demonstrate proficiency in use of portable power tools (hand drill, grinder).
● Previous experience required, preferably in the food industry.

Education:

● High School Diploma or equivalent . Trade school or equivalent in mechanical field preferred.

I would really appreciate if you could forward me your updated resume with all the updated details

If this weren't enough, he called twice and left voice mails!

Oh, I reached out to him for sure, but I won't post my response here. Let's just say that email served as an outlet for my increasing intolerance of teh st00pid I'm encountering from these offshore recruiters as well as my frustration for losing out on that job with the architects yesterday.

I may have used the phrase, "fucking asshole" at least once.

So much for getting in at that architectural office.

"Mark, Thank you for your interest in employment at [company name].  We appreciate the time you spent preparing your resume and your time for interviews.

Your qualifications have been carefully reviewed along with other candidates. We have decided to pursue others who appear to match our requirements more closely at this time.

We appreciate your interest in our company and wish you success in your search for a suitable career position."

And I could understand even less of "Kevin" or "Devon" or whatever the fuck he claimed his name was…

It was a good interview. It wasn't the slam-dunk I had been hoping for, and the role itself is a bit more than I had been initially led to believe, but it was a good interview nonetheless.

I met with the two main IT guys from Kansas City whom I'd spoken with on the phone interview two weeks ago and the two principal architects from this office.

I did okay on the technical questions. When asked about something I had no experience with, I was honest and told them as much, which they seemed to appreciate—and something I learned from my initial interview at ADOT was always preferred over some lame attempt to bullshit your way through it.

I got the sense they're looking for someone with more networking and experience with VMs than I possess, but at the same time they made a point of saying they're not fully up to speed either on running the number of VMs they're attempting, and are willing to train as we go along. This reminded me when I initially interviewed at the hospital back in 2004 and was asked if I had any AD experience. I truthfully answered I did not, and was told, "None of us really do yet. We're all learning."

Overall, this role sounds a lot more like what I was doing at my first job in Denver than just a straightforward desktop support position. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, that situation forced me to learn a lot of new things that go on "behind the wall" that I otherwise might not have been exposed to. On the other, it was extremely stressful at times, with management often expecting me to just know things that I didn't.

I also don't know how I feel about returning to a 24/7 operation. They told me after-hours calls or late nights didn't occur that often, but they did happen now and then when something goes down.

They are looking for someone with a passion about learning new things and thinking outside the box. You know, the kind of things that were actively discouraged at my last position. I made it a point of highlighting not only my passion with the Mac, but also the fact I garnered a lot of my tech knowledge through plain old curiosity.

The positives that stand out about this gig are it's an architectural office. Just walking in and smelling that distinctive odor was like an aphrodisiac. You could almost feel the creativity pulsing within the space. (And what a beautiful, open, funky, warehouse space it is!) There are only 40 users at this particular location, half of whom are on Macs. The total number on the payroll is about 250 spread across five offices. It's a full time, permanent position with full benefits. The money is good; not as much as the gig that was cancelled on me at the last minute a couple months ago, but more than I've earned since we left Phoenix and moved to Denver. The commute doesn't seem like it will be horrible. I would be the only onsite IT guy and on my own for most of the time, but backup would only be an IM away.

In short, as I'm writing this, I'm realizing this is almost exactly what I asked the Universe for three weeks ago.