Month: September 2025

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Dear MAGA…

From Palmer Report:

Dear MAGA,

I’m writing this open letter to you in the hope that, after our nation has lost a decade trapped in a running debate over the merits of one man, perhaps we might finally reach some degree of understanding each other. You’ve been clinging to this one man so tightly that long after the rest of us got rid of him, exposed him, convicted him, and tried to move on from him, you put him back into power. So considering where we are right now, today, I’m wondering: are you proud of what you’ve done?

The American economy is in shambles. Inflation is worse than ever. Everyone’s grocery prices are more expensive than ever, including yours. This one man, who spent his previous four years showing that he had zero understanding of economics, has now done to the American economy exactly what we said he would do. Are you proud of that?

This one man, who has never been respected by those who knew him well, who displayed zero business acumen when he hosted a reality show about business, whose supposed financial prowess has been exposed to have been based on cooked books all along, who has always come off like a buffoon, who has spent the past few years babbling incoherently about sharks and fictional serial killers, and who obviously had dementia during his most recent campaign, is now barely able to walk in a straight line or speak a full sentence. You put a walking corpse back into the White House. Are you proud of that?

This one man, who has been dishonestly demonizing nonwhite Americans from literally day one of his foray into politics, now has masked thugs roaming the American streets and scooping up anyone who isn’t sufficiently white – including the ones whose families have been here longer than yours. Including the ones who did important labor in your town. Including the ones you liked. Including, in many cases, the ones who voted for him. You put a guy back into power who is now rounding up everyone who looks brown, even if they’re MAGA. You’ve unleashed an out of control masked gestapo onto our streets to not only assault nonwhite Americans, but to also assault peaceful protesters just for kicks. You’ve turned America into something that feels like mid period Nazi Germany. Are you proud of that?

This one man, who has spent his decade in politics talking about and encouraging political violence at every turn, has created such an unacceptably violent atmosphere in this nation that one of your own favorite sons was shamefully murdered for opening his mouth. And no, we had nothing to do with that. Charlie Kirk is dead because you MAGA folks insisted upon putting a violent thug of a former President back into power while he was awaiting criminal trial for trying to violently overthrow the government of the United States. Are you proud of that?

This one man, who is so profoundly insecure that he still acts like a crybaby even now that he’s the most powerful man in the world, is now bent on getting every comedian fired who has ever made a joke about him. This one man has now declared, in exact words, that comedians are not “allowed” to make jokes about him. Talk show hosts are no longer even allowed to state facts about which side murdered Charlie Kirk, or else they’ll lose their job. America’s most fundamental freedoms of speech and press are being ripped up in front of our faces because this one man is too fragile to take a joke. Are you proud of that?

America is at an all time low. Everyone is angry. Everyone is miserable. Everyone is afraid of what comes next. Everyone is worse off than they were eight months ago, including you MAGA folks. All because you couldn’t accept that your first four years of supporting the most destructive piece of shit in American history were a mistake. America is barely breathing because you couldn’t let go of one man, no matter how thoroughly we exposed him to you. Now we’ve been proven right about every single thing we ever said about him, yet we’re all still stuck with him. Are you proud of what you’ve done? Because you owe us one massive apology.

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The Week In Stupid From Tiedrich

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: peak Kirk

in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s murder, big strong conservatives, tears in their eyes, have been falling all the fuck over each other in a mad dash to lionize Charlie as a great man. one of the greatest men. a man like no one’s ever seen before. a man like no one thought possible. possibly the greatest man of all time.

folks, get ready — because the canonization of Charlie Kirk has reached Peak Stupid.

Texas Rep. Troy Nehls: “Charlie Kirk was a man of faith, first and foremost. he loved his Lord Jesus, he loved his family, beautiful wife, beautiful children. just a remarkable, honorable man that was silenced with this assassin’s bullet. I would say if Charlie Kirk lived in the biblical times, he’d have been the 13th disciple.”

I’m going to have to disagree with Rep. Nehls, because I’m pretty sure that had the Kirkster lived in biblical times, he’d have been one of the Four Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse. Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy, and Charlie.

but that’s just, like, my opinion, man.

nonetheless, get ready to rejoice — because right now, Charlie Kirk is up in Heaven, fronting a band that I certainly hope is called Jesus and the 13 Apostles.

it must be pointed out that the creator of this nightmare fuel, Simon Hedges, is most certainly not a wingnut, and produced that image as a goof. however, that didn’t stop the internet from doing what the internet does best: fail to recognize a joke.

by the way, after I’m finished writing today’s post, I will be sending an angry email to myself demanding that I fire me for being insufficiently respectful to Charlie Kirk.

tuesday: they did what now?

of all the things that have never happened between two countries in conflict, here’s Tennessee Senator Bill Hagerty to hallucinate about the thing that never happened the most.

 

barely five years ago, China and India were fighting over a disputed border, and China used an electromagnetic weapon — they didn’t use bullets, but they used an electromagnetic weapon to literally melt Indian soldiers.”

seriously, Senator? what ‘electromagnetic weapon’ did the Chinese use? was it the Ark of the Covenant?

because we’ve all seen that famous documentary, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, and we’ve all seen what the Ark can do.

hey, wait a minute. that Ark is ours. according to the Indiana Jones documentary, it should be in storage in some massive warehouse.

 

did those fucking Chinese steal the Ark of the Covenant from us? we must demand it be returned. Mr. President, we must not allow an Ark of the Covenant gap!

wednesday: new Biden scandal drops

stop the presses! tear up page one, and start all over — because that dastardly fuckhead Joe Biden has done it again.

Laura Ingraham: “he’s been out of office for almost eight months now, but every now and again, Joe Biden wanders out into public view — and that ice cream moment only reminds us that his entire presidency was built on lies.”

Joe Fucking Biden. how dare he eat ice cream, and remind us of how he brought us out of the pandemic and then gave us four years of prosperity?

but wait — how do we even know that is Joe Biden in that clip? what if Biden’s autopen has achieved self-awareness, and is now going out by itself, in Joe’s place?

confess, autopen — what have you done with the real Joe Biden?

I think we’re going to have to hold some hearings about this. hey, James Comer, are you listening?

whoops, it looks like Comer Fudd is busy right now.

the only thing you need to know about Fox’s creepy obsession with Joe Biden is that Donny’s name is on every page of the Epstein Files.

thursday: I never forget a face

it’s easy to forget, given the firehose of fucknuttery that is our current timeline, that DOGE is still a thing — and that a certain three-toed freak of nature chairs an entire House subcommittee about it.

that’s right, Congresswoman Sporkfoot is still holding pointless hearings, where she drags in some poor unfortunate expert and harangues them about whatever batshit is seeping from her head.

Marjorie Taylor Greene: “did man create the Ice Age?”
witness: “no”
Greene: “right. so none of were alive back then to know for sure.”

Congresswoman, are we sure about that, that none of us were alive back then? I’m asking because the Museum of Confluences in Lyon, France, features an exhibit on Neanderthals —

and there’s a woman in that exhibition who looks pretty goddamn familiar.

so I want to ask you again, Congresswoman, are you sure none of us were alive back then?

remember, you’re under oath.

friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot

some fucking idiot’s day started off badly, with a judge throwing out his ludicrous $15 billion lawsuit against The New York Times. no, wait — the judge didn’t just throw it out, he laughed it out.

The judge, who was appointed by President George H.W. Bush, called the complaint “decidedly improper and impermissible” and took Trump’s lawyers to task for using a legal complaint as a public forum for abusive language.

but that didn’t stop the fucking idiot from holding a press appearance where he insisted that losing is actually winning.

once again, the fucking idiot failed to understand how the First Amendment works.

and once again, the fucking idiot was rude to the press.

the fucking idiot blithered about Joe Biden’s autopen. wait until he finds out that Joe’s autopen has been going out by itself and buying ice cream.

here’s a new wrinkle. the fucking idiot now has a bug up his ass about retaking Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan, which I guess is a thing we’ll do right after we’re finished annexing Canada and invading Greenland.

throughout the entire presser, the fucking idiot kept his rotting hand hidden.

later, fucking idiot then announced that he’d blown up another boat — once again, without providing any proof of his outlandish claims.

and not one reporter stood up and asked ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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I HATE This Fucking Timeline!

The Maga cult has turned the trans community into a boogeyman, but if you ask what specifically they are afraid of they don’t actually know and reply that they just “don’t like it.”

Yeah, well I don’t like eggplant so I don’t buy it and I don’t eat it, but I don’t making hating eggplant a full time preoccupation.

Believe me when I say, they won’t stop with trans folks… Has no one read history?!