as a team of backhoes reduces the White House’s East Wing to rubble, a second set of much tinier backhoes is at work inside Preznit Fuckwit’s head, reducing the east wing of his brain to rubble.
as a team of backhoes reduces the White House’s East Wing to rubble, a second set of much tinier backhoes is at work inside Preznit Fuckwit’s head, reducing the east wing of his brain to rubble.
“and I will say this, we have Darth Vader. you know Darth Vader, right? Darth Vader is a man who, uh, I think he’s sitting, right? is that Darth? stand up please, Darth Va— stand up. does everybody know— this is— they call him Darth Vader, I call him a fine man. but he’s cutting Democrat priorities and they’re never gonna get them back.”
Donny has no idea that Darth Vader is the bad guy, does he?
apparently Star Wars is some kind of Shakespearean tragedy for Donny, where the awesomest hombre in the galaxy keeps getting defeated.
anyway, the ‘Darth Vader’ who Donny was encouraging to ‘stand up,’ is, of course, Russ Vought, the architect of Project 2025 who is now Director of the Office of Management and Budget. Russ has been hard at work hollowing out government to the point where it no longer functions. he’s also been, as Donny was proud to point out, ‘cutting Democrat priorities.’
you know, ‘Democrat’ priorities, like ‘healthcare should be affordable,’ and ‘food and drugs should be inspected.’ just wait until the cultists discover that cutting all that shit affects them, too.
hey — speaking of Donny and his relationship with Russ the Impaler, here’s a fun story that’s not at all creepy or vomit-inducing.
apparently, after Vought’s wife left him in 2023, America’s Poon-Hound-in-Chief made it his mission in life to get Russ laid. ‘come down to Motel-a-Lago,’ Donny urged him, ‘you’ll be drowning in snatch.’
apparently, after Vought’s wife left him in 2023, America’s Poon-Hound-in-Chief made it his mission in life to get Russ laid. ‘come down to Motel-a-Lago,’ Donny urged him, ‘you’ll be drowning in snatch.’
“Trump spoke to Vought, a self-described Christian nationalist who’s now one of the president’s most hardline enforcers, about the ‘gorgeous’ and ‘beautiful ladies’ who roam Trump’s club, Mar-a-Lago, so often that it ‘weirded out’ some of his advisers,” sources told Zeteo.
“And Trump spoke crudely of all the ‘pussy’ that Vought would surely get as the president’s favorite ‘bachelor.’”
yes, I know. I just had the same reaction you did.
come on, Russ — how could you resist the Sirens of Motel-a-Lago?
but I digress. we need to get back to Donny, because he’s been getting all shouty at his TV again.
“the great George Washington, all the way to— [pauses as his mind goes blank] well, I think we have to rate him above me. so, less than great. less than George. as somebody went up the other day, they say, ‘you’re the third-best president of the Uni—’ this was on television, ‘third best.’ and they said who are the first two? ‘George Washington and Abraham Lincoln,’ and I got extremely angry at this man, heh heh, you know? you can’t— it’s— it’s gonna be— it’s gonna be tough to beat [gestures] Mister Senator, it’s gonna be— John, it’s gonna be very tough to beat Washington and Lincoln, but we’re gonna give it a try, right? hey, they didn’t put out eight wars, nine coming. all right, we put out eight wars, and the ninth is coming, believe it or not.”
let’s set aside this fever swamp hallucination, where Donny actually believes he deserves the Nobel Bestest President Ever Prize for “putting out” eight (now nine) wars. (fact check: fuck off.)
instead, let’s focus on how Donny’s brain has gone fuckity-bye. listen to him ramble incoherently, and struggle to finish a single sentence without losing his train of thought.
this is the clownish figurehead they put in front of the camera to distract us all with his dog-and-pony show, while Stephen Miller and Russ Vought and all the other sewer clowns run around in the background and do the actual work of fucking our country into oblivion.
everyone knows this. it’s the worst-kept secret in Washington.
meanwhile, every Republican Senator present at Donny’s Parking Lot Club luncheon, and every reporter watching from the wings, sits there with a grin frozen on their face, and pretends that all of this is normal, and acts like nothing’s wrong.
hey, why should they complain? when the whole thing was over, they all got cool swag bags full of Trump-branded merch as a parting gift.
what did We the People get? fucked, that’s what. and not in the Russ-Vought-at-Motel-a-Lago way.
lucky us.
it’s Day Two of the desecration of the East Wing. remember how Donny swore that construction of his vulgar dance hall wouldn’t affect the East Wing at all?
well, here’s the latest photo from yesterday, and it sure looks like they’re going to demolish the whole fucking thing.
these photos we’re getting are coming from people inside the Treasury Building, which is right next door to the East Wing. Treasury employees have a front-row seat to the travesty going on.
naturally, when Donny found out that these photos were going viral and horrifying the shit out of everyone, he reacted in the most Donny way possible: by screaming ‘off with their heads!’
WASHINGTON—The Treasury Department instructed employees not to share photos of the demolition of parts of the White House’s East Wing after images of construction equipment dismantling the facade of the building went viral online.
“As construction proceeds on the White House grounds, employees should refrain from taking and sharing photographs of the grounds, to include the East Wing, without prior approval from the Office of Public Affairs,” a Treasury official wrote on Monday evening in an email to department employees viewed by The Wall Street Journal.
sure, why not? let’s just cover everything up.
you want to see Donny’s medical records? go fuck yourself. ok, how about the Epstein Files? go fuck yourself.
and now, a new one for the list. you want to track the wanton destruction of the House that belongs not to Donny, but to We the People?
go fuck yourself.
meanwhile, it’s been 29 days since Arizona’s Adelita Grijalva was elected to Congress — and the limpest dick in Washington, Holy Mike Johnson, is still refusing to swear her in.
everyone knows why, of course: she’s the 218th and deciding ‘yes’ vote on Tom Massie’s discharge petition that would force the release of the Donny’s Dead Pedo Bestie files.
Holy Mike’s getting super fucking pissed off, because this obvious farce has reached the point where every time he goes out in public. it’s the first thing reporters pester him about.
what are you hiding, bro? what’s in those files that you’re so hot to keep under wraps?
“suddenly now, they’ve somehow convinced themselves that the [makes air-quotes] Epstein files will be damaging to President Trump and Republicans in some way that they’ve imagined, and so they feign outrage.”
you gotta love Holy’s Mike’s air quotes around ‘Epstein files.’ what’s your implication here, Mike, that we’re making the whole thing up?
you know why we’re so convinced that the Epstein files are damaging to Donny? it’s because Republicans are trying so hard to keep them covered up. fucking duh, man. this isn’t rocket science.
every time Holy Mike opens his weaselly lying mouth, he just digs himself deeper. what are you hiding, bro?
hold on — Comer Fudd, the rake-steppingest shitwit in Congress, wants a turn at the mic. for some ungodly reason, he’s super hot to embarrass himself in public again.
“let’s be clear, Democrats don’t care about transparency or accountability in this matter. the evidence we’ve gathered does not implicate President Trump in any way. public reporting, survivor testimony, and official documents show that Bill Clinton had far closer ties to Epstein. we’re working to bring former President Clinton in for a deposition, but the Democrats aren’t helping one bit.”
oh, bull fucking shit.
if the dead pedo bestie files truly exonerate Donny, then release them. show the whole world just how innocent he is.
oh, you won’t? then you must be covering something up, fuck-o.
you gotta love how Republicans imagine that ‘Bill Clinton is in the files’ is some kind of ‘game over, man’ gotcha.
you goddamn well know that if there were juicy dirt on Bill Clinton, Bill Barr would have released all of it five years ago, and Hannity would still be reading it out loud on Fox News every single night.
but let’s say the farts coming out of Comer’s mouth are true, and that Bill Clinton is implicated in the Epstein Files.
fine. bring him in. depose him. put him on trial.
if Bill Clinton committed crimes, lock him the fuck up. he and Donny can be cellmates, for all we care.
‘blah blah blah blah Bill Clinton’ means nothing to us. investigate the shit out of him.
here’s what Comer and all these Republican puke-weasels can’t understand: we’re not in a cult.
we don’t worship a Dear Leader who must be protected at all times. everyone who got up to sick shit on Epstein Island needs to be held accountable. release the files, and let the chips fall where they may.
release the full, unedited Epstein files, you fucking fucks.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
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