Let Us Pray…
Why I Love The Format
Tiedrich Monday
all of us, as children, were fed a lot of fairy tales. you know the kind: princesses in castles, dragons, big bad wolves, yadda yadda.
but I remember one particular fairy tale that got drummed into our heads over and over, and it went like this: ‘America’s system of government is the greatest ever invented.’
it’s such an adorable story, isn’t it? but answer me this: if that were actually true, then how were the stupidest fucking morons in the universe able to break it so easily?
oh look, Preznit Fuckwit has a new superpower: crime-ray vision.
reporter: “have you ever threatened DOJ leadership if they don’t prosecute Letitia James?”
Donny: “no. I don’t do that. I don’t do that. I mean, I look at the facts like everybody else. you read the facts, and to me she looks terrible, she looks like she’s very guilty. but that’s going to be up to the DOJ.”
that’s how Donny’s crime-ray vision works. he can just look at someone and know they’re guilty — and here’s who looks ‘very guilty’ to Donny: Letitia James.
what would you imagine was the one aspect of Letitia James that in Donny’s mind makes her ‘look guilty’? it’s pretty weird how almost all the people who ‘look guilty’ to Donny have the same thing in common.
now, for the other part of Donny’s mouth-fart, where he claims he hasn’t pressured Pam Bondi to go after his political enemies, and that it will be entirely the DOJ’s call.
fact check: oh please, just fuck straight off. we all saw what you posted to your janky app, Donny. look how it ends, with a demand that Bondi ‘serve justice.’
if Donny didn’t write that, I’d love to know who did.
hey, maybe it was his autopen. yeah, that’s it — it was Donny’s out-of-control autopen. let’s go with that.
after all, with Donny, every accusation is a confession. so if Donny is accusing Joe Biden’s autopen of committing every crime under the sun, then I’m absolutely willing to believe that Donny’s entire life is being run by some fucked-up autopen, and— [taps earpiece] hold on, I’m being told that now, for the first time, we can reveal a photo of Donny’s autopen. here it is:
oh. well, that explains a lot.
Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin’s has a superpower of his own: dumbfuck-ray vision.
Dana Bash: “he’s asking his attorney general in a public way to go after his political enemies. he’s very open about it. you’re okay with that?”
Mullin: “well, I think what we know is President Trump is very open and transparent with the American people, and he speaks his mind. that’s what his supporters love about him.”
you know, when MarkWayne Mullin goes on the Sunday shows, it’s as if all the stupid in that’s backed up in his head all week can’t wait to vomit itself out of his mouth. let’s call it projectile stupidity.
but here, in this one instance, Mullin is correct: Donny is in fact open and transparent. he lies in public. he crimes in public. he’s racist in public. all that shit is right out in the open, because fuck you, that’s why. being in-your-face horrific is Donny’s brand.
and yeah, MAGA does in fact gobble that shit right down. why? because Dear Leader has, by example, given the worst people in the world permission to be the worst versions of themselves.
which brings us to Laura Ingraham, because I’m pretty sure that the worst version of Laura is the only version there is.
“…including a Democrat congressional candidate who was thrown to the ground by an ICE agent. good work.”
nothing to see here, just some Fox News fuckhead gloating over a Democrat being assaulted by one of Donny’s masked thugs. this, during a week where Republicans went totally ape-shit over anyone who failed to be ‘respectful’ of the memory of Charlie Kirk.
so, I guess political violence is only bad when it’s directed at Republicans? silly me. do I even have to ask?
the less said about the Charliekirkpallooza in Arizona yesterday, the better — so I’m not going to talk about it at all, except to observe for the umpteenth time that Charlie Kirk did not deserve to be murdered. but at the same time, that didn’t make him a saint.
the one thing, however, that was too fucking surreal to ignore was President Worst Version’s entrance — with fireworks.
who does this? who considers this a dignified way take the stage during a memorial?
like everything else in this skeevy dipshit’s life, it’s gaudy, tasteless, crude — and entirely inappropriate.
and MAGA eats it right up — because it’s a fucking cult. the tackier Dear Leader is, the more they adore him. I swear, we’re living a real-life Idiocracy.
let’s just listen to a true American hero instead — Jasmine Crockett.
Dana Bash: “a resolution that came before the house this past week, honoring Charlie Kirk, and there were 58 Democrats who voted against it. you were one. why?”
Jasmine Crockett: “absolutely. you know what? one of the things I do want to point out that’s not been laid out, that honestly hurts my heart, is when I saw the ‘no’ votes, there were only two caucasians. for the most part, the only people who voted ‘no’ were people of color. because the rhetoric that Charlie Kirk continuously put out there, was rhetoric that specifically targeted people of color. and so it is unfortunate that even our colleagues cannot see how harmful his rhetoric was, specifically to us, and I can tell you that a month prior to him passing away, he had actually gotten out on his podcast — I wasn’t aware of this at the time — but he got out there and he was talking negatively specifically about me, directly. so if there was any way that I was going to honor somebody who decided that they were just going to negatively talk about me, and proclaim that I was somehow involved in the ‘great white replacement’? yea, I’m not honoring that kind of stuff, especially as a civil rights attorney, and understanding how I got to Congress, knowing that there were people that died, people that were willing to die, that worked to make sure that voices like mine could exist in this place … and it is unfortunate that more of my colleagues, on my side of the aisle, could not see the amount of harm that this man was attempting to inflict upon our communities.”
Rep. Crockett is right, and shame on every Democrat who allowed themselves to be peer-pressured into voting to honor a white supremacist.
it’s the start of a brand new week here, and maybe our country can finally get back to what’s important: release the full, unedited Epstein files, you fucking fucks.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
365 Days Of UNF: September 22nd
365 Days Of UNF: September 21st
Home
Take a moment. Sit down. Close your eyes. Think of all the places you’ve lived over the course of your life. Which of them made you feel the safest, the most loved? A place where, when you think of it brings a spontaneous grin to your face. In other words, Home with a capital H?
For me, it was the house my family lived in during my high school and college years. We moved in the day I started high school in September 1972. That morning I left the house we’d lived in since 1964 as an 8th grade graduate and came back to a totally new abode a high school freshman.
It was brand new construction in a new subdivision, “Bethany Heights,” located about a half mile south of where we’d lived for my grade school years.
It was also quite probably haunted. (Hard to explain with new construction, but there you go.)
My bedroom was downstairs. To this day I can close my eyes and see the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the window. It was quiet, safe, and felt like a private sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of the rest of the house. Ironic, considering the main gathering space in our house, the family room, occupied the same floor.
My dad had big plans for that house, only a few of which actually came to pass. He built a pair of floor to ceiling bookcases, dividing the living room from the dining room. He also built a wall of bookcases framing the window in my bedroom. He wanted to have a fireplace sunk and built in the family room as well as digging a secondary exit through the sewing room and putting in concrete stairs back to surface level, but neither of those ever happened. We did finally get an in-ground pool, but it happened only as I was getting ready to move out on my own.
My soon-to-be best friend lived across the street. We met shortly after my family moved in. Ken got me turned on to hi-fi equipment and rock-n-roll. As I’ve mentioned before, we’d sit in his room after he got back from CES (Consumer Electronics Show) in Chicago every summer and pour over the bags of brochures he’d brought back, dreaming of someday owning the equipment ourselves. When it came time to upgrade my childhood bicycle for my new commute to the high school, I followed his lead and got a yellow Schwinn Continental. Did parents really let their kids bicycle nearly three miles to school on these Phoenix streets on their own back then? Apparently so. Furthermore, it was expected. I got a ride to and from school only under extraordinary circumstances.
During my senior year, I had a crush on Daniel, a boy whose family had moved into the newly built part of the neighborood on the same street about a block to the west. When I say crush, I mean crush. We became friends. We hung out. We liked the same music. I liked taking long drives with him in his pink mustang. And keep in mind this was 1975. I wasn’t out, and profoundly frightened to profess my undying love, especially since he’d given no hints the feelings were mutual. (I’d tried that with a boy three years earlier only to destroy a friendship.) Anyhow, after my parents and sister would go to bed, I’d go out the side garage door, climb up the fence and onto the roof, and walk to the highest point of the roof that gave me an unobstructed view of the entire neighborhood—including Daniel’s house. I couldn’t see into his room, but I could see when the light was on and he was home. Crazy, huh? It’s not like today, where kids can call or text each other’s personal phones at any hour. I just wanted to make sure he was home and safe. I could’ve slipped and broken my neck countless times, but thankfully I was sure enough on my feet that it never happened—and no one called the police to report a boy on the roof of the house. But it was the 70s and a very quiet neighborhood.
This is also the house from my youth that still appears most often in my dreams.
Vomiting It All Up
Fuck Disney!
Because They Don’t Care If Something Is True Or Not. As Long As It Fits Their Narrative They’re Fine With It.
And It Won’t BeThe Last Time
Cleanup On Aisle 4!
NO LIE DETECTED.
Dear MAGA…
From Palmer Report:
Dear MAGA,
I’m writing this open letter to you in the hope that, after our nation has lost a decade trapped in a running debate over the merits of one man, perhaps we might finally reach some degree of understanding each other. You’ve been clinging to this one man so tightly that long after the rest of us got rid of him, exposed him, convicted him, and tried to move on from him, you put him back into power. So considering where we are right now, today, I’m wondering: are you proud of what you’ve done?
The American economy is in shambles. Inflation is worse than ever. Everyone’s grocery prices are more expensive than ever, including yours. This one man, who spent his previous four years showing that he had zero understanding of economics, has now done to the American economy exactly what we said he would do. Are you proud of that?
This one man, who has never been respected by those who knew him well, who displayed zero business acumen when he hosted a reality show about business, whose supposed financial prowess has been exposed to have been based on cooked books all along, who has always come off like a buffoon, who has spent the past few years babbling incoherently about sharks and fictional serial killers, and who obviously had dementia during his most recent campaign, is now barely able to walk in a straight line or speak a full sentence. You put a walking corpse back into the White House. Are you proud of that?
This one man, who has been dishonestly demonizing nonwhite Americans from literally day one of his foray into politics, now has masked thugs roaming the American streets and scooping up anyone who isn’t sufficiently white – including the ones whose families have been here longer than yours. Including the ones who did important labor in your town. Including the ones you liked. Including, in many cases, the ones who voted for him. You put a guy back into power who is now rounding up everyone who looks brown, even if they’re MAGA. You’ve unleashed an out of control masked gestapo onto our streets to not only assault nonwhite Americans, but to also assault peaceful protesters just for kicks. You’ve turned America into something that feels like mid period Nazi Germany. Are you proud of that?
This one man, who has spent his decade in politics talking about and encouraging political violence at every turn, has created such an unacceptably violent atmosphere in this nation that one of your own favorite sons was shamefully murdered for opening his mouth. And no, we had nothing to do with that. Charlie Kirk is dead because you MAGA folks insisted upon putting a violent thug of a former President back into power while he was awaiting criminal trial for trying to violently overthrow the government of the United States. Are you proud of that?
This one man, who is so profoundly insecure that he still acts like a crybaby even now that he’s the most powerful man in the world, is now bent on getting every comedian fired who has ever made a joke about him. This one man has now declared, in exact words, that comedians are not “allowed” to make jokes about him. Talk show hosts are no longer even allowed to state facts about which side murdered Charlie Kirk, or else they’ll lose their job. America’s most fundamental freedoms of speech and press are being ripped up in front of our faces because this one man is too fragile to take a joke. Are you proud of that?
America is at an all time low. Everyone is angry. Everyone is miserable. Everyone is afraid of what comes next. Everyone is worse off than they were eight months ago, including you MAGA folks. All because you couldn’t accept that your first four years of supporting the most destructive piece of shit in American history were a mistake. America is barely breathing because you couldn’t let go of one man, no matter how thoroughly we exposed him to you. Now we’ve been proven right about every single thing we ever said about him, yet we’re all still stuck with him. Are you proud of what you’ve done? Because you owe us one massive apology.
Saturday Coffee and Cock
Just Because
“Fine Art Prints”
Because It’s True
The Week In Stupid From Tiedrich
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: peak Kirk
in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s murder, big strong conservatives, tears in their eyes, have been falling all the fuck over each other in a mad dash to lionize Charlie as a great man. one of the greatest men. a man like no one’s ever seen before. a man like no one thought possible. possibly the greatest man of all time.
folks, get ready — because the canonization of Charlie Kirk has reached Peak Stupid.
Texas Rep. Troy Nehls: “Charlie Kirk was a man of faith, first and foremost. he loved his Lord Jesus, he loved his family, beautiful wife, beautiful children. just a remarkable, honorable man that was silenced with this assassin’s bullet. I would say if Charlie Kirk lived in the biblical times, he’d have been the 13th disciple.”
I’m going to have to disagree with Rep. Nehls, because I’m pretty sure that had the Kirkster lived in biblical times, he’d have been one of the Four Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse. Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy, and Charlie.
but that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
nonetheless, get ready to rejoice — because right now, Charlie Kirk is up in Heaven, fronting a band that I certainly hope is called Jesus and the 13 Apostles.
it must be pointed out that the creator of this nightmare fuel, Simon Hedges, is most certainly not a wingnut, and produced that image as a goof. however, that didn’t stop the internet from doing what the internet does best: fail to recognize a joke.
by the way, after I’m finished writing today’s post, I will be sending an angry email to myself demanding that I fire me for being insufficiently respectful to Charlie Kirk.
tuesday: they did what now?
of all the things that have never happened between two countries in conflict, here’s Tennessee Senator Bill Hagerty to hallucinate about the thing that never happened the most.
barely five years ago, China and India were fighting over a disputed border, and China used an electromagnetic weapon — they didn’t use bullets, but they used an electromagnetic weapon to literally melt Indian soldiers.”
seriously, Senator? what ‘electromagnetic weapon’ did the Chinese use? was it the Ark of the Covenant?
because we’ve all seen that famous documentary, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, and we’ve all seen what the Ark can do.
hey, wait a minute. that Ark is ours. according to the Indiana Jones documentary, it should be in storage in some massive warehouse.
did those fucking Chinese steal the Ark of the Covenant from us? we must demand it be returned. Mr. President, we must not allow an Ark of the Covenant gap!
wednesday: new Biden scandal drops
stop the presses! tear up page one, and start all over — because that dastardly fuckhead Joe Biden has done it again.
Laura Ingraham: “he’s been out of office for almost eight months now, but every now and again, Joe Biden wanders out into public view — and that ice cream moment only reminds us that his entire presidency was built on lies.”
Joe Fucking Biden. how dare he eat ice cream, and remind us of how he brought us out of the pandemic and then gave us four years of prosperity?
but wait — how do we even know that is Joe Biden in that clip? what if Biden’s autopen has achieved self-awareness, and is now going out by itself, in Joe’s place?
confess, autopen — what have you done with the real Joe Biden?
I think we’re going to have to hold some hearings about this. hey, James Comer, are you listening?
whoops, it looks like Comer Fudd is busy right now.
the only thing you need to know about Fox’s creepy obsession with Joe Biden is that Donny’s name is on every page of the Epstein Files.
thursday: I never forget a face
it’s easy to forget, given the firehose of fucknuttery that is our current timeline, that DOGE is still a thing — and that a certain three-toed freak of nature chairs an entire House subcommittee about it.
that’s right, Congresswoman Sporkfoot is still holding pointless hearings, where she drags in some poor unfortunate expert and harangues them about whatever batshit is seeping from her head.
Marjorie Taylor Greene: “did man create the Ice Age?”
witness: “no”
Greene: “right. so none of were alive back then to know for sure.”
Congresswoman, are we sure about that, that none of us were alive back then? I’m asking because the Museum of Confluences in Lyon, France, features an exhibit on Neanderthals —
and there’s a woman in that exhibition who looks pretty goddamn familiar.
so I want to ask you again, Congresswoman, are you sure none of us were alive back then?
remember, you’re under oath.
friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot
some fucking idiot’s day started off badly, with a judge throwing out his ludicrous $15 billion lawsuit against The New York Times. no, wait — the judge didn’t just throw it out, he laughed it out.
The judge, who was appointed by President George H.W. Bush, called the complaint “decidedly improper and impermissible” and took Trump’s lawyers to task for using a legal complaint as a public forum for abusive language.
but that didn’t stop the fucking idiot from holding a press appearance where he insisted that losing is actually winning.
once again, the fucking idiot failed to understand how the First Amendment works.
and once again, the fucking idiot was rude to the press.
the fucking idiot blithered about Joe Biden’s autopen. wait until he finds out that Joe’s autopen has been going out by itself and buying ice cream.
here’s a new wrinkle. the fucking idiot now has a bug up his ass about retaking Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan, which I guess is a thing we’ll do right after we’re finished annexing Canada and invading Greenland.
throughout the entire presser, the fucking idiot kept his rotting hand hidden.
later, fucking idiot then announced that he’d blown up another boat — once again, without providing any proof of his outlandish claims.
and not one reporter stood up and asked ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’
how fucking idiotic is that?
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
365 Days Of UNF: September 20th (The Who Wants Cake Edition)
When I Was In High School…
…I dreamt of living in this building.
In 1972, this was the future…
???? ???? ????
Valid Question
I’m Still Waiting For Him To Rise From The Dead
I HATE This Fucking Timeline!
The Maga cult has turned the trans community into a boogeyman, but if you ask what specifically they are afraid of they don’t actually know and reply that they just “don’t like it.”
Yeah, well I don’t like eggplant so I don’t buy it and I don’t eat it, but I don’t making hating eggplant a full time preoccupation.
Believe me when I say, they won’t stop with trans folks… Has no one read history?!


































































































































































