Voenix Rising

(Image stolen from Just a Jeep Guy)

One of those TMI memes going around that I actually feel like answering…

1. How would you like to die? How don’t you want to die?

Other than the “peacefully in my sleep” thing, I would have to say the next best way would be while under anesthesia.

The list of ways I don’t want to die is more extensive (and almost stolen verbatim from Erik): burning, drowning, choking, chemically dissolving, being impaled, squished, shot, or disemboweled.

2. Do you want to go before or after your spouse?

Due to our age difference, in all likelihood I will be exiting stage right many years before Ben. Ignoring the fact I’ve had health issues that my dad never had to face and I follow his lead and live a relatively healthly life well into my 80s, Ben will always be twenty five years my junior and have the age advantage. But after a little medical scare we had last week, I realize that Ben could just as easily precede me for any number of stupid reasons. I try not to think about that because I’ve already buried one partner and don’t want to ever have to do that again.

All the more reason to focus on the time we have together now and not worry about what may or may not happen tomorrow.

But in a hypothetical world where I actually have a choice, like Erik said, I’ll go with door #3: the Beetlejuice route where Ben and I both go at the same time. (Which pretty much precludes going peacefully during sleep or while under anesthesia.)

3. Have you planned your wake or funeral?

Anything in writing? No, but I have mentioned to friends and family I would like my body to be cremated and the ashes scattered in San Francisco and/or Sabino Canyon, north of Tucson.

4. How do you want your body laid to rest?

See #3 above.

5. What do you think happens to you after you die?

The atheist in my says it’s simply “lights out” (like under anesthesia), but there’s still a small, irrational part of me who wants to believe that there is something more to us than our physicality—and that somehow continues on in some form after the breathing and brain activity ends—hopefully to return again in some new intelligence. But even if the energy that powered me simply dissipates into the universe, that’s fine too.

When going through my cancer treatments (nearly) ten years ago, believe me these themes were on my mind a lot, and I came to the conclusion that since there’s no way of knowing for sure, why dwell on it? If you simply blink out when you die, you’ll have no awareness of it, and if there’s something more it will probably be so far removed from what we’ve been told to believe that it will be incredible. The only thing I can honestly reject out of hand is the bullshit that’s been foisted upon us by organized religion.

Bonus: If you died today but could be frozen and brought back in 100 years, would you?

Oh hell no. Why? Two words: Culture Shock. Can you imagine someone who died in 1900 being brought into the 21st Century?