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This Guy Gets It

Nostalgia. It’s a hell of.a drug. I’ve said it before.

Randy gets it, and is the first person I’ve seen so succinctly sum up what I feel whenever I put on a CD or rip a new MiniDisc. It just feels good. And as a collector, the dopamine rush of walking into a thrift store or our local Hard-Off, not knowing what I may find lurking on those shelves, or when a new-to-me piece of gear that I probably overpaid for arrives in the mail is exactly as he points out.

I grew up with vinyl as a teenager, spent my 20s and 30s with the arrival and peak market of CDs (I remember to this day the smell when you walked into Tower Records), and ended my 30s and spent my 40s with MiniDiscs. Even though the whole cancer thing occurred when I was deep into MD (I remember having my Sony MZ-S1 at the hospital, listening to whoever was on my radar at the time) I still have so many fond memories associated with the format.

I look at my music collection and think, “That’s me. That’s my vibration.” And even though my tastes have expanded over the years, every one of those recordings is a part of who I am.

And since everything I buy is used from individuals, it gives a stiff middle finger to the orange felon’s tariff madness.

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It’s Walmart/Sam’s Club This Week, Boys

Walmart Brands (They’re Not Just The Big Blue Store)

Sam’s Choice

Sam’s Choice is a widely recognized retail brand, owned by Walmart, founded in 1991 and named after the founder of Walmart, Sam Walton. The innovative two-tiered core corporate grocery branding strategy offers customers both premium quality products such as Sam’s Choice, as well as discount-priced staples under the Great Value brand.

Great Value

Great Value is the brand owned by Walmart, which was created in 1993, but products were made as early as 1992. It is part of Walmart’s grocery branding strategy, acting as the second tier or national brand equivalent (NBE). With Great Value, customers receive quality products at an affordable price.

Equate

Equate is a leading brand of products stocked by Walmart, offering a broad range of health, beauty, and general consumer goods. Their range of products includes everything from shaving cream and skin lotion to over-the-counter medications and pregnancy tests, providing customers with a one stop shop for all their needs.

Mainstays

Mainstays is a brand owned by Walmart that offers a variety of home goods, from bedding to kitchen utensils and ready-to-assemble furniture. This brand is part of the larger Better Homes & Gardens brand that features further home decor, furniture, and other items

Ol’ Roy

Ol’ Roy is Walmart’s store brand of dog food, created in 1983 and named after Sam Walton’s dog. It has become the number-one selling brand of dog food in the United States. It is comparable to Nestlé’s Purina.

Special Kitty

Special Kitty is the store brand from Walmart that cat owners trust for their pet’s needs. With a variety of cat food formulas and other cat care items, such as litter and treats, Special Kitty provides great value and quality to help keep cats happy and healthy.

Parent’s Choice

Parent’s Choice is Walmart’s store brand that offers a variety of items, such as diapers, formula, and accessories. This brand has undergone a recent relaunch of its design and packaging in 2010. Parent’s Choice products are produced by Wyeth which is owned by Pfizer. With high-quality and affordable options, Parent’s Choice provides parents with the necessary items for taking care of their children.

Play Day

Play Day, the brand owned by Walmart, is a wide-ranging collection of budget-priced children’s toys. Launching between mid-2014 and early-2015, it replaced Kid Connection as the go-to store for parents looking for quality yet affordable toys for their kids.

Pen+Gear

Pen+Gear is a store brand owned by Walmart that focuses on school and office supplies. They provide everything from pens and paper to paper shredders and binders, and their product range replaced the Casemate brand in 2016. Whatever your workspace or classroom needs, Pen+Gear has you covered.

Better Homes and Gardens

Better Homes and Gardens is the product line owned by Walmart, which is inspired from their popular magazine. It has a wide range of products such as furniture, kitchen products, bedding, curtains and window blinds, decor, and other home products. It also forms the premium tier to the Mainstay home brand.

Hometrends

Hometrends is a brand owned by Walmart specializing in providing customers with small furniture, tableware, and various home decor accessories like rugs and faux plants. Unfortunately, the brand has been discontinued in the US market.

Mainstays Kids

Mainstays Kids is a brand owned by Walmart that specializes in offering furniture sets for kids and teens. Their products are designed to be comfortable, stylish, and durable, allowing them to be enjoyed for years.

Your Zone

Your Zone is a brand owned by Walmart, offering a home product line that caters to teenagers and college students. Known for its appealing and stylish designs, Your Zone provides a variety of affordable items such as bedding sets, storage solutions, furniture, décor and more

Adventure Force

Adventure Force is a brand owned by Walmart that offers an exciting selection of outdoor toys, perfect for summertime fun. From water arms to water blaster guns, Adventure Force has everything you need to make the most of your outdoor adventures.

Allswell

Allswell is a pioneering brand owned by Walmart, offering luxury bedding and mattresses to customers direct to consumer. Their products combine innovative technology with the highest quality materials to provide superior comfort, support, and affordability.

AutoDrive

AutoDrive is an automobile care and accessories brand owned by Walmart that provides solutions for all your needs on the road. They have a wide variety of car care products, auto detailing products, interior accessories and some low price exterior accessories such as license plate frames to make your car look its best. Whether you are looking to take preventative maintenance measures or enhance the aesthetic appeal of your vehicle, AutoDrive can help you achieve your desired results.

Best Occasions

Best Occasions is a brand owned by Walmart that offers a wide selection of party decorations and accessories, such as candles and hats. With high quality products at an affordable price, Best Occasions is the perfect choice for all your party needs.

Bike Shop

Bike Shop is a brand established by Walmart and specialized in bicycle tires, tubes, and accessories. They offer high quality products, great prices, and reliable customer service to meet the needs of those looking for quality bike-related items.

Clear American

Clear American is a brand owned by Walmart, specializing in carbonated and flavored water. It was formerly known as Sam’s Choice Clear American. With its selection of bubbly beverages and thirst-quenching flavors, Clear American is the perfect choice for anyone looking for a tasty and refreshing treat.

Co Squared

Co Squared is an innovative cosmetics brand owned by Walmart that is sold exclusively direct-to-consumer.

ColorPlace

ColorPlace is a brand owned by Walmart that specializes in providing high-quality paint and painting tools. The paint itself is produced by PPG, a well-known leader in the industry. ColorPlace has a long history of producing excellent products for both residential and commercial needs, making it an ideal choice for any kind of painting project.

Douglas

Douglas is a brand owned by Walmart that offers budget priced tires. Among its models are the Xtra-Trac and Touring, which are made in a Goodyear plant.

Earth Spirit

Earth Spirit provides comfortable, trendy shoes. Their shoes are made with quality materials and are backed by the power of Walmart.

EverStart

EverStart is the Walmart owned brand for automotive and lawn mower batteries, boasting quality and durable battery-related accessories such as jumper cables. Manufactured by Johnson Controls Inc., with primary production based in Saint Joseph, Missouri, and Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Expert Grill

“Expert Grill” is a brand owned by Walmart, offering an extensive range of grills, charcoal and grilling accessories to help you create delicious outdoor meals.

Fire Side Gourmet

Fire Side Gourmet is a brand that is owned by Walmart and specializes in pre-cooked burgers and steaks. Previously, these products were under the Sam’s Choice label but now they have been rebranded as Fire Side Gourmet.

Gold’s Gym

Gold’s Gym is a brand owned by Walmart, which specializes in athletic and exercise equipment such as weights. The name of the brand is derived from and licensed by the chain of fitness centers founded in 1965 by Joe Gold. Gold’s Gym has become an iconic symbol associated with strength and health over the years, and its products strive to help individuals achieve their own fitness goals.

Hart

Hart, the brand owned by Walmart, offers a wide variety of power tools and outdoor power equipment that are designed to help you complete projects quickly and easily.

Holiday Time

Holiday Time is the perfect brand for all of your Christmas needs. Owned by Walmart, Holiday Time offers a wide range of Christmas items from Christmas trees to decorations and special wrapping paper, so you’ll be sure to find the perfect way to decorate for the holiday season.

Home Bake Value

Home Bake Value, owned by Walmart, is a brand that focuses on providing bread products of the highest quality. Its primary focus is on crafting products that contain the optimum balance of nutrients and taste, enabling customers to enjoy the experience of homemade baking without the hassle. Whether it be their signature, freshly-made loaves, baguettes, rolls, or any other tasty treats, Home Bake Value is the perfect choice for anyone looking for delicious, affordable bakery goods.

Hyper Tough

Hyper Tough is a Walmart-owned brand that offers a wide range of hand tools, hardware and storage, as well as some power tools, although the power tool lineup is gradually being replaced by Hart.

Kid Connection

Kid Connection, owned by Walmart, is a brand that is primarily used for children’s toys. However, it also includes children’s clothing and shoes to meet the needs of the entire family. With quality products from trusted brands, Kids Connection has become a go-to destination for parents and children alike.

Marketside

Marketside is a brand owned by Walmart and specializes in fresh foods, such as salads, soups, breads, and sandwiches, which can be found in various Walmart’s deli, produce, and bakery departments. With Marketside, you can enjoy the convenience and quality of grocery items available at Walmart at an unbeatable value.

Mash-Up Coffee

Mash-Up Coffee, owned by Walmart, is the go-to provider for luxury coffee beans. Their products are made with the highest quality beans and are expertly crafted to provide a unique flavor that will tantalize your taste buds. So if you’re looking for an amazing cup of coffee, Mash-Up Coffee is the perfect choice.

Motile

Motile, the brand owned by Walmart, has a wide variety of products ranging from laptops to miscellaneous tech and tech accessories.

Oak Leaf

Oak Leaf is a brand owned by Walmart, which produces and bottles low-cost wines for approximately $3 per bottle. With its affordable price, Oak Leaf has become a popular choice for those looking for an enjoyable bottle of wine without breaking the bank.

Onn

Onn is a brand owned by Walmart that offers a variety of consumer electronics, computer accessories, audio/visual accessories, and phone/tablet accessories.

Our Finest/Notre Excellence

Our Finest/Notre Excellence is a brand of upscale chip, cookie, frozen dinner and more products that are owned by Walmart and exclusively sold in Canada. It’s comparable to World Table and all the products produced under this brand are made in Canada just for Walmart Canada customers.

Overpowered

Overpowered, owned by Walmart, is a brand offering pre-built gaming desktops and laptops. Whether you’re a beginner or a pro, Overpowered has something for all levels of gamers.

Ozark Trail

Ozark Trail is a brand owned by Walmart, specializing in outdoor equipment and footwear. Its origins are deeply rooted in the Ozark mountain region in northwest Arkansas where the Walmart Home Office is located. Thus, Ozark Trail provides consumers with reliable, quality products made with the knowledge of the region ingrained in their making.

Price First/Prix Budget

Price First/Prix Budget, owned by Walmart, is the brand for all your entry-level everyday needs. It provides products similar to those from Walmart’s Great Value line, but at an even lower price point.

Protege

Protege is a Walmart-owned brand offering luggage and travel accessories for a great value. Featuring a range of products including carry ons, wheeled luggage, and a variety of other items, Protege provides travelers with top-notch luggage and travel accessories, all at an affordable price.

ReliOn

ReliOn, owned by Walmart, is a well-known brand that specializes in diabetes care products. Their range of products include blood glucose and blood pressure monitors, medical thermometers, portable humidifiers and replacement filters for both ReliOn and name brand humidifiers.

Spark Imagine

Spark Imagine is the perfect choice for parents looking for simple, high-quality children’s toys. Owned by Walmart with comparable features to Melissa and Doug, you can be sure that Spark Imagine toys will bring hours of fun and delight.

SuperTech

Walmart owns the SuperTech brand for motor oil, which is suitable for both gasoline and diesel engines. Additionally, the SuperTech brand is used on various other consumable car products, like oil filters, windshield wiper fluid, and transmission fluid.

Tasty

Walmart, in partnership with BuzzFeed, launched Tasty, a brand of kitchen tools. Furthermore, they introduced shoppable recipes connected to the Tasty cooking videos on BuzzFeed, allowing customers to easily purchase the ingredients seen in the videos.

The Office

Walmart owns the Office brand, which provides office supplies and stationery.

Uniquely J

Jet.com, a rapidly expanding e-commerce enterprise owned by Walmart, has debuted its “meticulously assembled” Uniquely J selection, which consists of 50 items including coffee, cleaning supplies, laundry products, pantry items, paper goods, and food storage products.

Walmart Family Mobile

Walmart Family Mobile is the only prepaid mobile phone service available from Walmart, and it utilizes the T-Mobile cellular network.

World Table

Walmart’s exclusive World Table brand offers higher-end versions of items such as salsa, pizza, chips, cookies, etc., compared to Great Value.

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This Guy?

From Greg Fallis:

Okay, first off, I admit I’m confused. I mean, I understand that Donald Trump, with the assistance of a cadre of feral Christo-fascist authoritarians and the support of a cartoonist collection of buffoons, is conducting an aggressive frontal assault on the US Constitution. And so far it’s been mostly effective.

Unlike a LOT of folks, I’m inclined to think Trump has a plan. It’s a very simple, very very stupid, and very selfish plan, to be sure. It’s the sort of plan you’d expect from a cartoon villain. But it’s still a plan. As I see it, Donald Trump’s plan is as follows:

Make everybody dependent on the whims and wishes of Donald Trump.

It’s ridiculous, isn’t it. What Trump really wants, of course, is loyalty and respect. Two things he’ll never get. He’ll never get the respect he wants (and thinks he deserves), and I suspect he knows that. Nor will he ever get real loyalty, because loyalty is reciprocal; you earn loyalty by being loyal to others. Trump is loyal to nothing and nobody. Who’s going to respect of be loyal to this guy?

Since he can’t/won’t get the respect and loyalty he truly wants, Trump has to settle for a shabby substitute–unquestioned obedience. The problem for Trump, even as POTUS, is that there are HUGE intentional limits to presidential obedience in a representative democracy.

The president’s actual job is to preside over the government, not to rule it. ‘Preside’ literally means “to sit in front of.” The president is basically like an orchestra leader. In order for Trump to command unquestioned obedience, he has to first weaken or destroy the Constitutional constraints on presidential power.

That’s exactly what he’s doing. In his first term, Trump converted the entire Republican Party to so-called MAGA loyalists (I say ‘so-called’ because many/most of the GOP are just sycophantic cowards or craven opportunists, not actual loyalists). He also stacked the Supreme court with ‘loyalists’. The only check on his authority came from the professionals who occupied the Cabinet posts and the various governmental agencies. Now, in his second term, he’s replaced the Cabinet secretaries and the heads of every government agency with more so-called loyalists. He’s basically removed or degraded almost every federal administrative constraint on his authority (there are still some federal judges who remain independent, though they’re under attack now).

This guy? Powerful politicians and institutions are afraid of this guy? This fucking guy?
There are a few other social constraints that can challenge the president: independent law firms, universities, business interests, and independent news sources. Trump is making every effort to hobble or undermine them, threatening retaliation either in the form of investigations or by removing federal financial aid and federal contracts. In order to avoid this sort of persecution, these social institutions are being required to appeal to Trump personally. To humiliate themselves by publicly kissing his ring. You want to avoid tariffs on products you need? Humbly ask Trump to remove them for YOUR company. You want federal financial aid for teaching or research? Humbly ask Trump to restore the funding he denied. You want to practice law or receive federal contracts? Humbly ask Trump to overlook any earlier opposition and publicly promise to support him. You want access to the Trump administration as a news source? Humbly agree to refer to the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America. What kind of person or institution would humble themselves before this guy?

But hey, it’s working. Some large law firms and some universities have already compromised themselves; many news agencies have modified their coverage of Trump and are parroting his bullshit; a lot of businesses threatened by Trump’s trade practices are considering personal appeals to Trump and praising his harmful policies. Intimidation works. But c’mon, how could anybody be intimidated by this guy?

I find truly astonishing that so many people and institutions are afraid of this guy. He’s a cartoonish nitwit; he’s more a malignant Elmer Fudd than an evil genius. The sheer mass of his ignorance could bend light. He’s ten pounds of racist bullshit in a five pound bag. He’s a coward and a liar. People are afraid of taking on this guy?

This guy?

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Saturday Jokes

Imagine telling Denmark they don’t do enough for people in Greenland when Greenland has universal healthcare and you don’t.

So after arguing for an hour with a man who said I was in his seat, he finally said, “OK, YOU fly the plane!”

Canada elected a guy with a PhD in economics from Oxford. Mexico elected a woman with a degree in physics and a PhD in energy engineering. America elected a geriatric orange conman who talks like a carnie and went bankrupt six times.

Until the day I die, I will never understand how they were more upset about a Super Bowl halftime show than Elon Musk stealing our social security numbers.

Could we just commission artists to paint unflattering portraits of him every day to keep him occupied?

I was watching a TV show for about 10 minutes and this lady was listing all of these great things to do for fun.
Then I realized that it was one of the religious channels and she was reading a list of sins.

Boomers worked one job for 40 years.
Millennials work 40 jobs in one year.
Gen Z is questioning why jobs even exist.

I was just minding my own business then all of a sudden 1975 was 50 years ago.

Don’t worry Greenland. One more bottle of whiskey and Pete Hegseth will text you the complete invasion plans.

It’s disgusting that we live in a country where a homeless veteran who served his country can sleep in a cardboard box, while a draft dodger who works tirelessly to tear his country down can sleep in the White House.

Shout out to everyone who got through the day without taking a nap.
Pulled an all-dayer today.

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank?
Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

I think it’s disgraceful that after 50 years, people don’t know who Neil Armstrong was … or even the type of trumpet he played!

I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something.
I forgot that I’m fat and can’t run for more than 2 minutes.

Life’s way too precious to spend even a minute debating someone whose entire worldview comes from Fox News.

Guys courting women are no longer bringing flowers, but instead bring eggs.

Because of the high price of eggs, more women are taking up pole dancing.

Looking back at all the successes and failures in my life, I can’t help but be proud that at least the potty training stuck.

If drugs aren’t allowed in sports, why isn’t makeup banned in beauty contests?

Must be miserable to go about life thinking scientists, historians and journalists spent their entire lives lying to you, but a reality TV celebrity with decades of documented fraud is telling you the truth.

A rat colony underneath Washington, D.C. recently became aware of a surface world with blue skies, warm sunlight, and abundant garbage. The colony was planning to move to the “land of plenty” until it was discovered to be infested with hundreds of politicians.

Pete Hegseth calls for steep cuts to the number of steps in AA recovery.

I love that time right as winter is ending but they aren’t making bugs yet.

Don’t punish your child by taking their games away.
Instead, log onto their online games and get them banned.

If the grocery store has a section for health food, then what is the rest of the store?

Okay, I came up with a new dating app idea.
You match with people who are on the same meds as you.
We’ll call it “Relationscripts”.

I was in a meeting where the room number was 404. I joked that I couldn’t find the room and nobody understood. This is why I have a hard time making friends.

Happy B-day to all celebrating it this month! I hope you’re celebrating the way you came into this world. Naked and screaming.

Someone asked a retiree, “Do you have a job?” He replied, “I’m my wifes’ sexual adviser.” They asked, “What do you mean?” “Very simple,” he said, “My wife told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she’ll ask for it.”

My child asked why, when lightning strikes a cornfield, it is not full of popcorn.
I didn’t have an answer.

An angel asked God what he was doing.
“Making Canadians,” he said.
“Awww they’re so nice,” she said.
“Oh yeah? Watch this,” he said as he dropped a hockey puck.

SEX is like a gas station. Sometimes you get full service, sometimes you have to ask for service, and sometimes you have to be happy with self-service.

Remember when I asked for your opinion?
Neither do I.

A guy commented on my post.
Then a girl replied.
The guy replied back.
They were about to fall in love.
So I deleted the post.
Not on my watch!

Short girls are stubborn.
Look at her, she even refused to grow.

Subway sign…
Our footlong subs are 12 inches even when it’s cold.

Wife: “Could you pick up a gallon of milk?”
Me: “Sure. It’s only 8 pounds.”
Wife: “I meant at the store.”
Me: “I’m pretty sure it weighs the same there.”

Employee: Do we have a bereavement policy?
Boss: Of course we do. If you die you get that day off.

Sometimes a brick to the head says what words can not.

Coworker: “It cost me $100 to fill up my tank.”
Me: “Why do you drive a tank? They’re so impractical. You should get an economy car.”

Five without 4 is iron. (thinking joke)

I would rather the USA not be Trump’s 7th bankruptcy.

At dinner, my frustrated date said, “So napping and sitting around are seriously your only hobbies?? You told me that you were interesting!”
“No, no,” I corrected, “I said that I was into resting.”

Aren’t you glad your parents didn’t have a social media platform to tell everyone what a little shit you were?

It was a quiet Monday morning in September 2053 when John awoke with a need to go to the bathroom. To John, this wasn’t any ordinary day! This was the day he would open the last package of toilet paper his parents bought in 2020.

If one of my jokes offended you, it’ll probably happen again. I’m a repeat offender.

If you find a snakeskin, it means the snake shed it so it could grow bigger.
Same thing if you find my clothes at Goodwill.

Being funny at work is a delicate balance of being just funny enough to entertain your coworkers but not so funny that you get sent to HR.

Me, every day, trying to figure out what I last bumped into.
I call it “bruise clues”.

I think it’s funny that they’re now putting jokes on the back of bacon packages.
Listen to this one: Serving Size: 2 slices.

A nurse was giving me a physical. During the hernia check she cupped my boys. Instead of “Turn your head and cough”, she begins yelling at me, “Stop running your fingers through my hair!”

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