Kinda Proud Of Myself

It’s been eleven months now that I’ve been getting all my nutrition through a plastic tube attached to a valve in my abdominal wall. (For all you laymen out there, the valve is called a mic-key, or just a “mickey.”) They originally fitted me with a valve that had a permanently attached tube, but that was a pain in the ass so we had them swap that out during one of the followup procedures after my surgery last fall. The mickey is so much easier to deal with.

They recommend that the mickey be swapped out with a new one every three to six months. It was done as a [billable, of course] courtesy when I was in the ICU last April.

I know it’s not rocket science, and mickeys are supposedly “user replaceable,” but I’m a tech geek, not a medical geek, so I was hesitant to try and do it myself.

I watched while they did it, and it certainly seemed to be no more difficult than caring for a trach tube—something I’ve been dealing with for the last twenty-three years. But I was still reluctant to do it myself. The first time I swapped my trach tube out I was terrified I’d get it out and not get it back in, but at this point I can pull it out, clean it, and reinsert it in my sleep. The only thing that kind of surprised me—but shouldn’t have when you stop to think about it—was how the the mickey goes in clear and after several months comes out nasty. (The balloon turns black and the tube itself goes to a puke orange, both undoubtedly from the constant exposure to the stomach acid.)

Since I was due for another swap, I asked if they could do that while I was in the hospital a week ago. “I have everything I need at home to do it. I’d just like to see it done once more before I attempt it.” “No problem,” they said. Unfortunately the request was lost in the shuffle and I was discharged before it could happen.

So today I thought I’d tackle it myself. I mean, how difficult could it be? Wash your hands, deflate the balloon that holds the tube in place internally, pull it out, insert the new one, and inflate the balloon with sterile water to hold it in place. Easy peasy, right? And worst case scenario, Ben was in the other room and while working with medically fragile children over the course of his career, he’s had to deal with more than one tube falling out and having to get it back in so he’d know what to do if I ran into trouble.

So…it was easy peasy! It took less than a minute to deflate and remove the old one, and then insert and inflate the new one. Much like the first time I pulled the trach tube out, the sensation was…odd to be sure, but now I know what to expect and I’m confident that I can totally do this by myself going forward.

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