I have issues.
- WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SLICE THEIR PALM TO GET BLOOD? Do you know how many nerve endings are in your hand?!?! Why don't they ever cut the back of their arm or their leg or something OMFG!
- WHILE WE'RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT'S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY FOR A REASON. Get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. "But i look stupid!" LALALALA. But we'll avoid that stupidly dramatic moment when you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
- STOP YANKING IV LINES OUT OF YOUR ARMS THE MINUTE YOU WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL! Do you want to fucking bleed to death?!
- That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it?
- There is a freaking door right there. Stop smashing through windows, damn it!
- Yes, Mr. Action Hero, I am aware that running dramatically from the baddies at breakneck speed is important, but know what else is important? NOT GETTING SHOT. RUN IN A FUCKING ZIGZAG PATTERN ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT THE MOOKS WERE NOT COACHED IN MARKSMANSHIP BY THE IMPERIAL STORMTROOPERS.
- And oh hey, you there…sneaky hero-type breaking into any place for any reason? WEAR SOME FUCKING GLOVES. They're called fingerprints, dumbass. You have them and you're putting them all over the fucking place.
- If something really fucking huge is falling on you, don't FUCKING RUN ALONG THE LENGTH OF THE THING! JUST TAKE LIKE TWO FUCKING STEPS TO THE SIDE, OR BETTER YET, RUN 90 DEGREES TO THE THING!
- And for God's sake, PUT PRESSURE ON THAT WOUND. DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND IT BLEED OUT. I'm talking to you, TV cops.