Five Questions

• Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I've had a lot of unexplainable things happen during the course of my life. When I was in high school, we lived in a new, never-before-occupied house that I swear must have been built over an Indian Burial Site. Many times we'd all be downstairs and doors would slam upstairs—with all the windows in the house closed. Later, when I was away at college my mom would often sleep downstairs in my room because of my dad's snoring. That stopped the one night the bed started shaking. More recently, I was working on the deserted fifth floor of Phoenix Memorial Hospital in a room that had been created for the unboxing and prepping of new computers. The door was closed, and I was happily absorbed in my work when I heard a loud knock at the door.  I opened the door and no one was there. I looked out at the length of the hall. Not a soul in sight (and no one could've run away between the time I heard the knock and when I answered the door). It was shortly after that I learned the floor had at one point been the psych ward and that one of the patients had hanged himself there. Since that point the floor had a "reputation" for being haunted. Ghosts? I don't know. I prefer the term, "Unexplained Phenomenon."

As far as aliens are concerned, I believe there is definitely life—intelligent and Republican otherwise—out there; I just don't believe they would travel tens or hundreds of light years to come here unless it was to simply observe a dominant planetary species gone insane.

• Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Air. And Air.

• Smell the air. What do you smell?

Desperation.

• What's the worst place you have ever been to?

The inside of a church. ANY church. Absolutely makes my skin crawl. Of course I have the same reaction when entering a WalMart or just about any airport after the TSA was formed.

• Choose East Coast or West Coast?

I'm definitely a West Coast boy!