I'm In Training This Week

Why, I don't know—other than it makes Cuntula feel good that she's micromanaging. When she came on board a year and a half (gawd…has it only been that long?) ago, she made a point of telling everyone that it was now expected that we take "a minimum" of two (employer paid-for) training classes per year so we can "grow our careers." I pointed out to her directly that I was a a few short years out from retirement and wouldn't be "growing my career" any further. It didn't matter. RULES ARE RULES.

If pressed, the two things I was interested in learning more about were Adobe Photoshop (something I'm fairly comfortable with, but by no means an expert) and Adobe Illustrator (which I'm dumb stupid). In fact, prior to COVID (and well ahead of the bitch's arrival in the department) I was on track to take both courses, but all that fell apart the year we were all working from home. Upon returning to the office and the departure of the previous guy who held her position, BOTH courses were shot down as "not related to my job position." Even after myself and my immediate supervisor pointed out to her that we support people in the organization who do use these applications, it was still denied.

So fine, bitch. Whatever. Since she still gave us a choice as to what Microsoft only courses we could take, I resolved to take the simplest, the most-I-already-know-this-shit stuff I could find and then treat these week-long WFH remote learning sessions as mini-vacations. Since this edict was handed down, I've taken two basic Windows courses and a Sharepoint course that I basically slept through. The Windows courses were at least entertaining. The instructor was fantastic.

There was an additional course (Advanced Windows Troubleshooting) I'd signed up for last year that kept getting rescheduled because even though this was now a department requirement, it came with the stipulation that no two people could be out for training at the same time and it seemed this course was always scheduled for the same week one of my colleagues was already scheduled to be out. When I was finally able to find a session that did not collide with anyone else's training and got signed up, the training company canceled it altogether a week before it was scheduled because not enough people had signed up. So it got pushed back yet again.

So now, even though—with only a year left before retirement—my "professional development" requirement has finally been lifted, I went ahead kept my reservation for the course since it was already in the department budget. It was also an opportunity to blow off work for a week.

Well, training started yesterday and three hours in, it was obvious the instructor for this course was horrific. I genuinely enjoyed the prior instructors on the other courses, but this guy came off as an insecure, yet arrogant know-it-all, constantly requiring feedback and "engagement" from everyone in class.

Nope. That's not how I roll. It got so bad that at one point yesterday I was considering just blowing it off completely, closing zoom, and going back to work. Every prior class I've taken with this company has allowed me to basically watch and learn, and then go off and do the work without having to interact much with the instructor. When I didn't respond to one of his general questions directed to the class and he said, "Mark? Mark? Are you there? Did we lose Mark?" I private-messaged him and told him I was there and was listening, but didn't feel the need to respond to everything he said. "That's not how I take these classes."

"Oh…okay." He's left me alone since.

But he did lose me completely when he was explaining how to use the lab environment and said, "I'm browser neutral. You can use any one you like…except Safari. Safari isn't a real browser."

"Safari isn't a real browser."

Oh…and then there was this:

And with that, I've mentally checked out with this guy. I'll attend the remaining lectures as background noise, but the labs can get fucked (not that it really matters one way or another). I'm basically in audit mode at this point.