It's the only explanation.
I don't remember the exact moment of our deaths. I don't know if it was shortly before we were scheduled to move to Denver, or if it happened en route, or if it was—most likely—February 2013, when she arrived; the Destroyer of Worlds.
As I lay wide awake at 4:15 am this morning—again—I started quietly sobbing because I realized that my friend Cindy was right a year ago when she learned that we were moving Ben's mom up "temporarily" and told me, "She's never going to leave."
After five trips to the ER in the last 30 days for uncontrolled neuralgia in spite of a steady diet of beer and morphine (yes, at the same time), she's now decided to go out on short term disability for the next six weeks. WHY? What is this going to accomplish? Are we going to see any real change—like seeing a doctor who will do anything other than rubber-stamp another scrip for pain meds or god forbid, checking herself into rehab to get off the stuff to begin with—or is it just going to be six weeks of more self-medicating and endless Judge Judy blaring from our guest room?
I asked Ben if this was going to affect her move out date since she will still be drawing her full salary and he said it wouldn't. As much as I'd like to believe that I have no faith it's going to happen. She's already talking about returning the bedding she bought for her own place, so I'm sure something is going to happen that will prevent her from moving out yet AGAIN.
At this point I fear the only way to get her out of here is for Ben and I to move back into a one bedroom apartment when our lease expires at the end of August.
When she's working, she's on an odd shift so she normally doesn't get home until around 7:30 pm, giving me a couple hours of alone time (Ben doesn't normally get home before 7 either) to unwind from work. But now I've even lost that brief respite from her crazy. For the next six weeks I'll be going directly from work to Starbucks until Ben gets home because I simply can no longer abide being around her if he's not there.
I never believed in a real, physical Hell, but I'm really starting to question it now.