Flamethrower

I put in my notice at work yesterday. Even before my boss had come in, I had this IM conversation with her boss:

While I wasn't the one to let it slip, this woman has known for weeks that I was leaving and on what day—as confirmed by "I had been waiting," so don't be acting all surprised, honey.

When my boss came in about fifteen minutes later, she was rejoicing that starting next Monday she was going to be out on vacation for two weeks.  One of my coworkers (who I had informed of my departure after sending my resignation email a few moments earlier) piped up and said, "Well that's two of you gone."

"Who's out next week?"

"Mark."

"I don't remember seeing that. Is it on the calendar?"

"No," my coworker continued. "He's out for good. Monday is his last day."

At that point I chimed in and said, "You haven't read your email yet."

She looked at me and the looks that crossed her face were priceless. First shock, then anger, and then it was as if a curtain dropped. "Really? I'm happy for you…and a little jealous."

Believe me, she won't be so happy after my exit interview with HR.

I can't describe how happy and relieved I am that this horrible experience is finally coming to an end. Working for ██████ has been the absolute worst experience of my professional life, bar none. (You know you've lost the respect of your employees when the threat of termination is perceived as a reward, not a deterrent.) I kept hoping that things would improve—hence the reason I haven't quit sooner—but they never did. It was only after Ben and I spent a week in Atlanta and I had a chance to detox (it literally felt like that) I came to see that despite its belief to the contrary, ██████ is not the center of the known universe. And my department especially is nothing more than a 30' x 30' square box of fecund hellstew; hence the brutal—and I must say, liberating—honesty with my manager's boss.

The main reason I didn't put in the customary two-week notice? Again and again I've seen the way this company treats its employees and I didn't want to risk being immediately escorted from the building after putting in my notice (it's happened). One week's wages I could—though not ideally—live without, if necessary. Two weeks was an unacceptable loss. While the escorting didn't happen, I know I'm going to be screwed over somehow before this process is complete. In fact, I'll be surprised if I'm not.