Too Much Information

Since all the other kids—as well as my Ben—are playing in traffic, I'd might as well rush out into it too…

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?
9 or 10. I was in 4th Grade. It was the first year of formal P.E. classes, and one of the coaches always had facial scruff, eternally hard nipples, and a tuft of chest hair creeping out the collar of his T-shirt. To this day, the chest-hair-out-the-collar thing still elicits spontaneous sideways whiplash whenever I see it.

2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?
Hell no. I'm gay, remember?

3. Who was the first person you came out to?
It was my second college roommate. Immediately thereafter he "came out" by telling me his uncle was Christine Jorgensen. "We don't discuss Uncle George much any more." (I had no reason to doubt him; while I'd heard of her, Christine Jorgensen was by no means a well-known name at the time.)

4. Are you out to your family?
Yes.

5. Do you want children?
Not at my age, no. If you'd asked me twenty years ago I might've answered differently. "The biological imperative," and all that.

6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?
60-40 Gay to Straight.

7. Were you out in school?
Not until college.

8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?
Yes.

9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?
Yes.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
Not just no, but HELL no!  For the longest time all I attracted into my life were tweekers.

11. Have you ever been in a sling?
No. I think by this point I would've been if I'd had any desire to.

12. Have you ever done a 3-way?
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Fine for casual sex, but it can destroy relationships.

13. Have you ever dressed in drag?
Nope.

14. Would you date a drag queen?
It depends on who they are out of drag.

15. Are you 'fixed in your ways' as it were?
After living in San Francisco for 16 years, I think I've explored just about everything I was even remotely interested in exploring. At this point, I know what works for me and what doesn't. So yeah, I guess the answer to that would be yes.

16. Cher or Bette?
I have 15 songs by Cher in iTunes. I have 100 by Bette.

17. Have you dated someone of a different ethnicity?
Yes.

18. Been to Fire Island?  Saugatuck? Key West?  Ft. Lauderdale?  Palm Springs?
No.  No. No.  No.  Yes.

19. How many Madonna CDs do you own?
What are these "CDs" of which you speak?  14 albums show up in iTunes.

20. Name of your first love?
Dennis.

21. Do you still talk to them?
See #42.

22. Does size matter?
Not at all.

23. Biggest turn on?
Enthusiasm and gusto. As for specific physical attributes, I think you can get that from the pictures I post.

24. Biggest turn off?
Willful ignorance and attitude.

25. Ever been harassed due to your orientation?
Not unless you count someone yelling from a passing vehicle, "Go back to the Castro!" as a boyfriend and I were walking hand-in-hand down Union Street in SF.

26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?
I have the required black and white photo of a dead female movie star in the apartment. Other than that, you'll have to ask someone else. My friends describe me as "the straightest gay man they know." Whatever that means.

27. Ever been to a pride rally?
Yes, but I lost all interest after attending my fifth or sixth.  I mean, how many half-naked men can you photograph?

28. Would you marry if you could?
Hell yes.

29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Rich and smart. Youth and beauty can be bought, starting at about $150 an hour…

30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?
Sculpt, no. Trim, yes. When gentlemen reach a certain age, they have to. Otherwise they end up looking like Andy Rooney.

31. Do you trim your body hair?
No.

32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?
I lived in San Francisco for 16 years. Nuff said.

33. Ever been to an orgy?
Does a sex club count?

34. Which character in "The Women" best reflects you?
I think I've reflected all of them at one time or another.

35. Favorite gay expression ?
"Oh puleeze!"

36. How many "exes" do you have?
Depending on the definition, I would say three.

37. Do you believe in fairies? 
I lived in San Francisco for 16 years. Nuff said.

38. Do you have any tattoos?
Yes.

39. Do you have any piercings?
Not any more.

40. Would you date a smoker?
It's a vile habit, but undeniably sexy (at least in photographs). That said, I've dated smokers, but probably wouldn't do it again.

41. If you are male, do you know many lesbians?
Over the years, several have come and gone from my life. Loved them all. Hated their drama.

42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?
Far too many.

43. Are you part of a gay organization?
No.

44. Is your gym cruisy?
What is this "gym" thing of which you speak?

45. Grinder or Scruff?
Meat Market Mentality at its worst.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
I have beautiful memories of years past that will never be matched, but I have to believe the best is still to come. Otherwise, why go on?

47. Got Porn?
You've been to my website, right?

48. Make out music?
I'm weird that way. No music required.

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy?
In high school, yes. It seemed I was crushing on someone different every year. But since that time, no—although verily I have lusted in my heart.

50. Did you ever have sex with him?
No.

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Too many times to count. I had the tan and the legs to prove it (you had to traverse a 150-foot vertical trail to get there). Good times, indeed.

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
Bath house, no. Sex Club? See #33.

53. Ever had sex in public?
Yes.

54. What gay gene did you miss out?
Shopping.