every Republican is giddy with glee today, because the President of the United States is coming to the Grand Opening of their latest exercise in abject cruelty: an actual concentration camp.
read that sentence again. then read it another hundred times, and ask yourself: what the fuck?
what the fuck is a question you’re going to be asking yourself a lot today, because just a few short years ago, none of this shit would have even been thinkable — and now, deliberate human rights abuses are official government policy.
what the fuck?
look, the visit is right there on Donny’s official schedule.
‘Alligator Alcatraz’ — isn’t that name totally adorbs? — is the brainchild of Florida Governor Ron DeSadist. he commandeered a decaying, abandoned airport in the middle of hot, humid, mosquito-, alligator- and python- infested South Florida swampland, hastily put up a few hundred tents, and declared that America’s newest concentration camp is open for business.
send us all those nannies and day laborers that ICE has been disappearing off the streets, and we’ll make sure their lives are as miserable as possible as they await being shipped off to who the fuck cares, just get them out of Dear Leader’s sight.
seriously, what the fuck?
you would hope that DeSantis would at least have the decency to be ashamed of what he’s doing, and pull all this shit under the cover of darkness. but nope, he’s super fucking proud of himself. last week, he gave a tour of the joint to Fox News.
“and then of course, you also have stuff for the staff here. so you’ve got laundry facilities, we’ve got showers, we’ve got— obviously, you see the shower and bath facilities.”
how awesome. the guards and staff get air conditioning, hot meals and bathrooms. the lucky inmates, however, are cordially invited to go fuck themselves. they get tents, on what used to be an airport tarmac, under the hundred-degree Florida summer sun.
what the fuck?
Ron put this whole thing together in a matter of days, so you know it’s going to be some shoddily-built piece of shit that’s going to be a nightmare to live in.
know where Ron got the $450 million to finance this abomination? from FEMA. think about that the next time a category-five hurricane devastates Florida and the government is all oh, so sorry, there’s no money to rebuild.
you’ll be shocked to learn that Donny has put his stamp of approval on this entire abomination.
“tomorrow, President Trump will travel to the great state of Florida, to attend the opening of a new illegal alien detention center located at Dade-Collier training and transition airport… the facility is in the heart of the Everglades, and will be informally known as ‘Alligator Alcatraz.’ there is only one road leading in, and the only way out is a one-way flight. it is isolated and surrounded by dangerous wildlife — an unforgiving terrain. the facility will have up to five thousand beds, house, process and deport criminal illegal aliens. this is an efficient and low cost way to help carry out the largest mass deportation campaign in American history.”
what kind of sick fuck brags about this shit?
the only way out is a one-way flight, because there’s no due process.congratulations, Stephen Miller is your judge, jury and executioner.
one minute you’re stocking the shelves of a Home Depot — and the next thing you know, ICE goons swoop in and rendition you off to Alligator Auschwitz. next stop, some hellhole slave-labor gulag in El Salvador. if you’re lucky.
what the fuck?
the entire wingnut noise machine thinks this is the funniest thing ever.
here’s a two-minute supercut, compiled by Decoding Fox News, showing Fox blatherheads joking about prisoners getting eaten by alligators, and other lovely sentiments.
yeah, that shit sure is fucking hilarious.
what the fuck?
but wait — the war crimes don’t end there. the Department of Homeland Security — those madcap funsters led by the woman who gets her kicks perforating puppies — is posting disgusting memes to Elon’s Nazi Bar.
your government tax dollars at work, folks.
what the fuck?
now, sit back and let your jaw drop as GOP depravity kicks its way through the bottom of the barrel and sets an all-new low.
“Grab our merch to support tough-on-crime borders!” the official X account of the Republican Party of Florida posted Friday morning. “Limited supply – get yours before the gators do!”
The official Florida GOP store sells $30 “Alligator Alcatraz” T-shirts, along with a $27 hat and a $15 set of beer koozies.
to anyone who would wear this shit, thank you for telegraphing to every decent human being that you fucking suck.
this is the point where I would usually go ‘you know who else used to sell merch, don’t you? of course you do,’ and then link to some Nazi-era atrocity.
but not today. I can’t do that — because not even the Nazis thought to sell Auschwitz t-shirts and beer koozies.
congratulations, you fuckheads, you’ve out-Nazied actual Nazis.
what the fuck? whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck?
by the way, the Nazis may have never worn Camp Auschwitz t-shirts, but you know who did? the January 6 insurrectionists.
awesome work, dipshits. you’ve really covered yourself in glory.
eventually, some poor soul is going to succumb to the hundred-degree heat at Alligator Auschwitz and drop dead. when it happens, don’t expect any soul-searching from the evil fuckwads who sent him there to die.
recently, a 75-year-old Cuban national who had been in the US for SIXTY YEARS was kidnapped by ICE, and died while in their custody — and border czar Tom Homan was all who gives a crusty shit.
reporter: “there are reports of a 75-year-old Cuban national who died in ICE custody. he had lived in the U.S. for 60 years. he was being held in ICE detention in Florida. is there anything you can tell us about that? there is still not a lot of information about how he died.”
Homan: “people die in ICE custody. people die in county jails. people die in state prisons.”
people die. oh, okay. thanks for explaining it, asshole.
what the fuck?
under what flat rock do the even find ghouls like Tom Homan?
Republicans sure are cavalier in their attitude when it comes to other people’s lives. here’s pig-castration aficionado Joni Ernst to remind us why everyone hates her.
“well, we all are going to die.”
thanks, Joni. you’re a huge fucking comfort.
oh look, Mad King Donny has found a odiferous new grift with which to separate the cultists from their money.
Trump fragrances are here. they make a great Christmas present. I’ve named them ‘FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT…’”
of course you have, you cheesy shit-peddler. my god, listen to this imbecile struggle to pronounce the words on the teleprompter right in front of him.
“…because they represent winning. we all want to be winning. we have to win as a nation. we want to win as a family.”
win as a family? what does that even mean? is MAGA competing with the family down the street to see who can stink the worst?
“this fragrance is all about strength and success and confidence for men and for women. get yourself a bottle and don’t forget to grab one for your loved ones, too. they’ll thank you and they’ll even smell good. enjoy, have fun, keep on winning and merry Christmas.”
merry Christmas to you too, you sundowning fool. does the Mad King not know that today is July first?
the price tag for this toilet water is two hundred and fifty fucking dollars.
what I want to know is this: why would anyone spend that kind of money to smell like Donny, when you can just shit yourself and roll around in hamburger grease for free?
Some Comments From Your Host
While I never believed the shit, there is a faction in the UFO community who swears that there is a large contingent of shape-shifting and/or disguised aliens who walk among us…and they do not have our interests at heart. In fact, just the opposite. I know that what we’re witnessing not only in the United States, but across this entire fucking planet is quite capable of being accomplished by the most evil. socopathic members of humanity without any outside assistance. But it certainly seems to me like the goal of whoever is in charge is population control. Everything they’re doing is guaranteeing the suffering and death of millions of individuals here and abroad, and I have to ask to what end? Why? Am I overthinking this? Is cruelty simply the goal?