So in their infinite wisdom, the I.T. Powers-That-Be decided that all the techs need to get fingerprinted and pass an FBI background check in the unlikely event that any one of us may be called upon to cover for the usual tech who supports our Enforcement building. Or something. Because reasons.
No big deal. I've done this before and there's nothing in my background to raise any red flags.
My coworker (the one who I wrote about earlier who randomly gives me attitude when he apparently gets up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning) and I were both scheduled to get fingerprinted at the same time at the same location. It seemed stupid for us to take two cars there, so I asked if I could catch a ride with him.
You'd think I asked for a goddamn kidney.
"Well, I was going to go by myself…"
So you can disappear for hours off-campus the way you do when you're on-campus?
I told him it didn't make any sense for us to take two cars if we were going to the same place at the same time.
He reluctantly agreed to let me ride with him.
The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. The next morning I sent him an email that simply said, "I've decided to take my own car. Thanks anyway."
His response: "Are you sure?"
Really? Really?
Yes, I'm sure. I should never have asked you in the first place, motherfucker.
There were four of us (the other two were from different sites) scheduled at the same time. Said coworker was the next to last to arrive because he hadn't bothered to read the email to know where to park. Yet he was the one who pushed his way to the head of the line when they started calling us back.
When I was finished with all the bullshit—and since I was driving my own car—I decided to take a short detour on the way back to the office and stop at my local coffee shop to grab an extra-large Tuxedo mocha before returning to work. Because reasons. Fuck it.