That quote above is so true. Every now and then I start feeling a little nostalgic and Google someone from my past to find out whatever happened to them since we last crossed paths… or just to see what they look like today.
(Or more embarrassingly, to put a face to the name I had been gushing over in some journal entry from the 90s whom I now have absolutely no recollection of.)
I'm amazed how consistently I have come up completely empty-handed, and that's probably a good thing. About twenty years ago I tracked down several members of my old high school crew whom I lost touch with when we went off to different colleges and discovered to my horror that nearly all of them had become raging conservative christianists. I just remember shaking my head in disbelief. Needless to say I did not pursue reestablishing those friendships.
I'm curious, but not that curious to go digging into the past; and certainly not curious enough to spend any money on those paid stalker people-finder background-check websites.
At this point I just assume that the folks I'm trying to locate have no online presence, have done a damn good job of hiding it, or—since I am getting up there in years and we're still dealing with an ongoing pandemic—have simply died.
I mean, in the last two years people who I have stayed in contact with for the last 30-40 years have passed away, and COVID wasn't even the cause.
As recently as a few months ago I was speaking with a friend from high school whom I have maintained steady contact with over the years and we were discussing a mutual friend from back in the day who was big into hifi like we were with whom I'd lost contact after I moved to San Francisco. Surprisingly Ken (my friend) still spoke to Gary, and offered me his contact info.
I emailed him, and after we exchanged a few pleasant emails and current photos, the conversation just died. Like twenty years ago, I suspect Jesus got in the way.
There's a reason the past is best left in the past. Live with and treasure your memories; don't let them be destroyed by the reality of what people have become.
Mark, This posting was like a lightning bolt.
Yesterday I was contacted by someone I had a relationship with, but it ended badly. I almost responded to his contact, but decided to 'sleep' on it.
Thank you for the post. I realize what I wanted was the fantasy of being with this man, rather than the reality.
This is one of main reasons I've never been to a high school reunion; what I had in common with people 50 years ago has long been forgotten.