Lapeer, MI — A security officer at a Lapeer charter school left a firearm unattended in a school bathroom on Monday, Jan. 14, a school official said.
The security officer "made a breach in security protocol" and left an unloaded weapon in a restroom "for a few moments," said Chatfield School Director Matt Young.
Translation: The idjit unholstered his firearm, put it on the sink or shelf or somewhere in there, and walked away having forgotten he'd done so. The fact we've heard about it likely means someone else found it before he remembered his gun was gone.
Young said the school has been in contact with local authorities about the matter and wouldn't discuss any possible repercussion for the officer, calling it "a personnel matter." Young also declined to name the security officer.
Translation: If they won't say he was fired or formally reprimanded or fined by the local PD for reckless endangerment, in all likelihood it was just a verbal reprimand.
"The school has put additional security procedures in place that follow local law enforcement practices and guidelines," Young said in a statement.
Translation: We've told our armed guards they're never to unholster their firearms, even when taking a piss, a dump, or merely washing their hands because they might forget them. Because apparently we needed to point out the obvious.
"At no time was any student involved in this breach of protocol.
Translation: This happened during class periods and we're pretty sure the adult teacher or custodian who found the weapon was the first person to encounter it. That's our story and we're sticking to it. Because legally, if a child found it, we'd be in big $ trouble.
"We will continue to work on improving school security."
Translation: We really hope you all forget this ever happened.
Young stressed that no children were exposed to the handgun or put in danger, and declined to comment more on specifics of the incident.
Translation: We really, really hope you all forget before some irate parent decides to file a lawsuit. Besides, we asked the kids if they saw anything and they all said 'no', and we all know kids never lie about anything if you ask them in your serious-voice.
The school recently hired the officer, who is retired from the Lapeer County Sheriff's Office, as a means to bolster school security.
Translation: Because police officers never make dumb mistakes like the rest of us humans do. Like, for instance, shooting up a paper delivery truck that looks nothing like the one the police were looking for.