I'll Pray for You

From Rosa Rubicondior:

What the Pious really mean.

I'll pray for you because:

  • If I tell the truth and say I hate you people won't think I'm a kind, caring person.
  • I want you to think I have some power over you that you can't do anything about.
  • I like to think I have some power over you that you can't do anything about.
  • I like to think I have an invisible friend who gets those who won't agree with me about everything.
  • I can't be bothered to learn stuff but I want people to think I'm better than you in some way.
  • I want you to feel guilty about beating me in an argument because I should be allowed to win every time even though I can't be bothered to learn stuff.
  • You won't agree with me so I'll try threatening you with my really powerful imaginary friend.
  • I want people to think I'm religious because I'm hoping to get away with people thinking I'm a person they can trust.
  • I can't counter your argument so I want to threaten you whilst making other people think I'm your morally superior.
  • I want my friends to be impressed with my smugly self-satisfied piety.
  • I want people to think I'm so special I have a close personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe who makes my wishes come true.
  • It costs me nothing and is much easier than doing something practical to help.
  • Pretending to be other peoples' moral superior makes me feel good about myself.
  • If there really is a god I'm hoping to impress it with my piety so I show it off at every opportunity.
  • What use is religion if you can't use it as a weapon when you need to?
  • What use is religion if you can't use it to try to elevate yourself above other people?
  • I'd really like to abuse you physically but I can only use words and make-believe.

Isn't it great the way religion can be used against other people is so many different ways? Has mankind ever devised any better source of excuses for the morally bankrupt than religion?