Some say you shouldn’t punch Nazis. Fuck that. Punch them in the head until your fucking hand breaks. After World War II we didn’t punch Nazis; we hanged the bastards.
–On This Day in History Shit Went Down: November 20, 1945–
I’m torn about the whole death penalty thing. If someone killed a member of my family, I’d want the fucker to die. Hell, I might do it myself. But at the societal level, it just doesn’t work. Using the United States as an example, there are many problems with it. It’s unfairly applied to poor people and people of color. Because of the lengthy appeals process, it’s more expensive to execute someone than to put them in prison for life. It is proven to not be a deterrent to crime. It breaks the social contract of a society that respects life. Mistakes are made, and you can’t make someone undead. Etc.
But those Nazi fucks had it coming.
They murdered millions and the West put them on trial. The first and best known of the Nuremberg trials began six months after the war ended, on November 20, 1945. But they’d been planned for over three years. Representatives from countries occupied by Germany began meeting in 1942 to plan how they’d one day hopefully hold those Nazi cockwaffles accountable. Nuremberg was chosen for the trials because the Palace of Justice was still intact after the Allied bombing, and because the city was also the birthplace of the Nazi Party, so it was another fuck-you to fascism.
The trials lasted over ten months, exposing the crimes of twenty-four of the most notorious political and military leaders of the Third Reich. Twelve of them were sentenced to the eternal dirt nap. One of the dozen condemned was Hermann Göring. Göring was one of the most powerful leaders in the Nazi Party. Someone smuggled cyanide into his cell for him and he killed himself the night before his scheduled execution. Asshole.
Another seven war criminals got sentences ranging from ten years to life; three were acquitted; and two ended up not being charged. When it came to the executions being carried out, they didn’t go that smoothly. Accusations were made that the drop for the hanging was too short, and a number of them, rather than have their necks broken for a quick death, died slowly and painfully over several minutes from strangulation.
Desiring vengeance is not a healthy emotion, but considering their crimes I’m having a difficult time feeling bad about that.
Those who cannot remember the past need a history teacher who says “fuck” a lot. Get both volumes of “On This Day in History Sh!t Went Down” at JamesFell.com/books. The holidays are coming and they make great gifts.
here’s a huge surprise: it turns out that Mad King Donny’s merry band of fascists are a bunch of incompetent shitwits who can’t even do a rigged show-trial right.
insurance-claims-lawyer-slash-beauty-pageant-contestant-turned-corrupt-US-Attorney Lindsey Halligan was back in court yesterday, trying to salvage her politically-motivated persecution of Public Enemy James Comey.
Justice Department lawyers acknowledged Wednesday that a full grand jury never reviewed the indictment filed against former FBI director James B. Comey, a remarkable admission that could threaten the viability of a case already facing challenges on multiple fronts.
here’s the long story made short: Halligan had originally presented to the full grand jury a three-count indictment against Comey. the grand jury rejected one of the counts, so Halligan drew up a new, two-count indictment. this is where it turns into a shit-show.
Rather than present that new document to the full grand jury for approval, however, prosecutors had only the foreperson sign it before it was delivered to a judge, interim U.S. attorney Lindsey Halligan conceded Wednesday.
how do you fuck that up? because I’m pretty sure that telling a jury foreperson to ‘here, just put your name on this and let’s not show it to anyone else. it’ll be our fun secret!’ is a huge fucking Bozo no-no.
if Halligan had any clue what she was doing — if she’d ever prosecuted a case before — she would have known that pulling a boneheaded move like that would blow up in her face.
A 1969 ruling by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit held that a full grand jury must consider an indictment for it to be considered valid.
but that’s what happens when your only qualification to be a US Attorney is‘Dear Leader says I’m the prettiest.’
“In a normal Department of Justice not run by hacks and sycophants and malicious clowns, Lindsey Halligan would resign, and the indictment against James Comey would be dismissed. Halligan should be disbarred. She altered a court document without showing the grand jury.”
no fucking duh.
Halligan is the latest in a long line of loyalists and toadies to hitch their wagon to Dear Leader, only to end up in disgrace. Donny isn’t going to in office forever — and once his presidency is over, all the lackies who threw ethics out the window and bent the law for him are going to be toxic.
Lindsey Halligan just poured gasoline all over her future and set a match to it — because who’s going to hire someone like Halligan, who just proved herself to be malignantly incompetent buffoon?
Rudy Giuliani, am I right? Rudy? hello?
oh shit, Rudy’s passed out under a pile of empty vodka bottles again.
so, Donny finally signed the Dead Pedo Bestie Act of 2025, which directs the Department of What Used To Be Justice to release the Epstein Files.
you’ll never guess what happened next: Pam Bondi immediately started moving the goalposts. it turns out that the DOJ can’t release all of the files even though they really really want to, because — well, just because.
reporter: “the DOJ statement earlier this year saying that the files would not be released mentioned the fact that the review of the documents did not suggest that any additional investigation of third parties was warranted.what changed since then that you launched this investigation?”
Bondi: “information that has come for— information. um. that’s information that— new information, additional information.”
oh my lord, Pam came this close to big-lebowskiing her non-answer. she can’t release the files because new shit has come to light.
oh, great. Pam’s going to be withholding some of the Epstein files because all of a sudden those documents are going to be needed as evidence for some new investigation. how convenient.
for those keeping score at home, first the files were on Pam Bondi’s desk, then they didn’t exist at all, then they were a hoax written by Joe Biden’s autopen, and now, parts of the files can’t be released — because new shit has come to light, man.
let me guess which files can’t be released: the ones with the most-incriminating dirt on Dear Leader. am I right? what do I win?
don’t piss on our heads and tell us it’s raining. release the full, unedited files, you fucking fucks.
Senators Elissa Slotkin and Mark Kelley, along with Reps Chris Deluzio, Maggie Goodlander, Chrissy Houlahan and Jason Crow have produced a 90-second video in which they remind members of the armed forces and the intelligence community that they have a sworn constitutional duty to refuse to follow illegal orders.
let’s just pause to consider how surreal this moment we’re living in is, where elected officials need to remind soldiers that when the president orders them to open fire on civilians in a US city, that shit’s a Bozo no-no.
this nightmare-fuel scenario was unthinkable, prior to Donny — but shitty timelines gonna shitty timeline, that’s just the way it is.
“it is insurrection, plainly, directly without question… these lawmakers should honestly resign in disgrace, and never return to public office again, for even daring to think, let alone to say these words and to say them proudly.”
oh joy, Nosferatu got to use his favorite word again — insurrection.
fact check: fuck off. reminding the military of their sworn oath to uphold the Constitution isn’t insurrection — not in any sense of the word.
Stephen Miller throws the word insurrection around as easily as he swallows live bats. everything he doesn’t like is an insurrection.
a crowd peacefully protesting masked ICE thugs? that’s insurrection.
some judge rules against one of Donny’s kingly proclamations? insurrection!
Nosferatu gets up in the middle of the night to pee, and stubs his toe in the dark? worst insurrection ever!
it’s all so patently transparent. Miller is hot to convince Dear Leader that there’s an insurrection going on that must be put down right now, so that Donny will finally invoke the Insurrection Act, and bring on the chaos and violence that Miller is pining for.
“my pollsters said, ‘sir, if George Washington and Abraham Lincoln came back from the dead and they aligned and they went for the president, vice president as a combination, you’d be beating them by 25 points.’”
and then these big-strong, teary-eyed pollsters held the spoonful of pudding up to Donny’s mouth and said ‘zoom! zoom! open the hangar door, Mr. President, here comes the airplane.’
“Communist Mayor of New York City, Zohran ‘Kwame’ Mamdani, has asked for a meeting. We have agreed that this meeting will take place at the Oval Office on Friday, November 21st. Further details to follow!”
frankly, I can’t wait.
young, energetic and charismatic Mamdani will be going head to head with the deteriorating demento who can barely stay awake in public — and the cameras will be rolling.
stay tuned. will be wild.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
I went in for my second once-every-three-week Keytruda infusion today. I was handed this “informational sheet” at check-in. I mean, I knew this shit was expensive, but that $30K figure isn’t for the full course of treatment; it’s per infusion. A year’s worth of treatments rounds to more than half a million dollars.
As I was getting unhooked from the IV, the nurse and I had a long conversation about the state of healthcare in these United States and agreed that we needed Medicare for all, no questions asked. We’re the only “first world” country without universal healthcare and frankly, it’s a fucking embarrassment.
Long before The Shining, et. al., this is how I became acquainted with Wendy’s work back in my high school years:
BTW, the original soundtrack from The Shining is one of those recordings that was never officially released on CD, and good copies of vinyl on the market are ridiculously expensive:
(Click to embiggen.)
I had it in my collection back in the day. I wish now it had been among one of the few I’d held on to; not because of the value, but because of the music itself.
Of course, this led me on a search to see if it was available online for download (because I have an incomplete version in iTunes) and I was able to find it. My next MD ripping project… ????
Over the years I’ve gotten quite a few inquiries from readers asking, “Why all the men smoking? Why are you posting all these photos of otherwise good-looking young men, sullied with cigarettes dangling from their lips?”
A valid question.
I don’t smoke. I never have. Neither has Ben, or for that matter any of my friends—with one exception. Both my parents smoked when I was growing up (it was the 60s after all), but I heartily sung their praise when they quit in my teens.
I think the reason I never started was out of spite more than anything else. Even when I was in first or second grade I was giving Mom a hard time about her habit. One day she quipped, “One day you’ll smoke too,” and I responded, “I will NOT!” and stuck to my guns all these years.
When I first came out, I was smoking neutral. I’d hook up—as infrequent as those encounters were—with smokers and non-smokers alike. The only thing I really hated about smoking in general was coming home after a night at the club (it was the late 70s after all) reeking of the smell. In fact, often the first thing I’d do upon arriving home in the wee hours of the morning would be to strip down, throw my clothes in the washer, and shower before going to bed.
But sometime in the 80s—and definitely after I moved to San Francisco—my neutrality changed to a staunch anti-smoking stance. Seeing a cigarette dangling from a guy’s lips was an immediate turn-off and killed any further interest.
Something changed again for me in the 90s. Suddenly that same dangling cigarette became very sexy—if only visually. I still couldn’t stand the smell, and my boss—an older guy who smoked like a chimney in the office until we all demanded he step outside—had breath that could knock a person dead at ten paces.
But there was still something about the look. I know the habit will unnaturally age all these beautiful young men and they’ll look like crap by the time they’re my age (if they even live that long), but in my eyes they’re damn sexy now.
“baby boomers will eventually pass away, and when they do, they will all do it at the same time, and then millions and millions of homes will become available like that.”
fuck me, why am I just hearing about this now? apparently I’ve been left off that text chain. when is this great die-off supposed to happen? I’m hoping it’s not for at least four weeks. I’d like to finish watching Down Cemetery Road.
I don’t know why Jesse’s so smugly pleased about this. doesn’t he realize that once all the boomers drop dead, Fox’s ratings will drop to zero? who do you think is watching your tiresome show, Jesse?
so, what was the emergency that required the whole building to be shuttered on such short notice? did the bathroom pipes burst? did the entire staff come down with food poisoning?
nope.
what happened is that some busybody found a book with a transgender character in it, and Tennessee’s Secretary of State freaked the fuck out and ordered libraries across the state to close immediately, so that librarians could “cull their children’s sections for gender-subversive content.”
I shit you not. here’s the entire sign that greeted the thwarted library-goers.
people, what the fuck are we even doing here?
wednesday: first they came for the Muslims
let’s watch as John Voight completes his transition from once-respected actor to batshit racist fuckhead.
“this city will turn into a forbidden place of darkness. the blood, sweat and tears that New York was built on will turn into a virtual refugee shelter for the radical Muslim ideology. this is now the most dangerous time for our citizens of New York. this mayor will destroy this city. we are obligated to demand our rights for our private sanctuary, our businesses, our property, that we all have worked so hard for. and this 35-year-old mayor as no right dictating the rules of socialism for a city built on our highest principles with brick and stone by hardworking Americans. this must be stopped and his mayoralty should be terminated immediately. and we the people have put our trust in the president of the United States, Donald J. Trump. he — and only he — can stop this horror, as the Mayor Mamdani will try to destroy New York’s wealth and turn it into a socialist crap city.”
sorry, John — your all-powerful tribal warlord fell asleep in the middle of your overcooked rant.
tighten that shit up, bro. you can’t expect President Pudding Cup to stay awake for the entire minute and a half you flapped your gums.
look, dumb-asses, Zohran Mamdani is going to be your mayor. dry your eyes and cope — and stop calling on Donny to ‘do something’ to ‘stop this horror.’ Dear Leader can’t do shit. what are you expecting? that he’ll issue an executive order? fart out some nonsensical tweet where he thanks us for our attention to this matter?
let’s get real: Mamdani doesn’t have the power to do any of the shit MAGA is wetting their pants in fear of. he’s bound by the same laws and Constitution the rest of us are (excepting, of course, our Very-Special-Boy-in-Chief).
lighten the fuck up. I’m pretty sure free buses isn’t part of some plan to usher in Sharia Law. this isn’t some slippery-slope kind of thing, where one day there’s a government-run grocery store in Flatbush and the next, you’re forced to gay-marry Rick Santorum’s dog.
now, here’s a pro tip for you hypocritical fuckwads: if you’re all bent out of shape that the guy in charge of New York is a Muslim, but not that the guy in charge of Medicare and Medicaid is a Muslim, you’re racisting wrong.
thursday: first they came for whatever the fuck this is
Florida Rep. An Appalling Lunatic went on Newsmax and — [taps earpiece] hold on, I’m being informed that the Florida rep’s name is actually Anna Paulina Luna. goddammit, I keep making this mistake. sorry about that, Anna. let me start over.
Newsmax: “you’re on the record talking about, quote ‘non-human life-forms that could be interdimensional beings who are visiting us.’ can you just explain more, so people at home might know what that means.”
Lunatic: “yes, so that’s definitely a mouthful, but that is directly based on information that we received from witnesses. also information that we have obtained and witnessed via our investigations. there is some stuff that I can’t disclose what I have immediately seen in some of these SCIFs, but what I will tell you is, this is not some crazy conspiracy theory.”
spoiler alert: yes is it. it’s a crazy conspiracy theory.
I’d like to ask Anna if these interdimensional beings are in the room with us right now, but I’m afraid that she’d respond ‘yes, they are. duh. can’t you see them?’
this is why An Appalling Lunatic got herself elected to office — not to help her constituents, or to make anyone’s life better — but, apparently, to get to the bottom of whatever the fuck this is.
friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot
on Friday, some fucking idiot had no public appearances. no way did the fucking idiot want to face the press, and be peppered with uncomfortable questions about his dead pedo bestie.
but that doesn’t mean the fucking idiot didn’t have a busy day.
he also announced Operation Look Over There, SQUIRREL! — because, you see, he doesn’t have a dead pedo bestie problem, it’s the Democrats that have a dead pedo bestie problem.
“I had an MRI and the result was outstanding.” reporter: “was it your brain?”
“I have no idea what they analyzed, but whatever they analyzed, they analyzed it well.”
they ‘analyzed it well,’ these big, strong doctors with tears in their eyes. I’ll bet they did.
now, just imagine that Joe Biden had gone for medical tests and, when asked what they were for, answered ‘fuck if I know.’
you know exactly what would have happened next: Jack Tapper would have orgasmed on the spot, and written fifteen books about it in one afternoon.
yet not one reporter stood up and asked ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’
ow fucking idiotic is that?
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
