Author: Mark Alexander

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You’ve Heard of Murphy’s Law

But there are many other such laws.

Here are a few:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
-Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren’t.
-Beach’s Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
-Anthony’s Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
-Tussman’s Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
-Lowery’s Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem.
-Peer’s Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
-William’s Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s Biology.
2. If it stinks, it’s Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics.

Machines should work. People should think.
-IBM’s Pollyanna Principle

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage – management.
-The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-Ehrlich’s Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
-Ralph’s Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
-Cannon’s Comment

Thinly sliced cabbage.
-Cole’s Law

Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.
-Franklin’s Law

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New Music

I stumbled across this group the other night on YouTube, and was immediately captivated. I don’t know how to classify their music, other than to say it’s definitely my speed.

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An Oldie But A Goodie

While stitching a cut on the hand of an elderly farmer, the doctor struck up a conversation.

Eventually the topic got around to Donald Trump.

The old farmer said, ” Well, as I see it, Donald Trump is a post tortoise.”

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post tortoise was.

The old farmer said, “It’s when you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a tortoise balanced on top – that’s a post tortoise. You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s been elevated beyond his ability to function and you wonder what kind of dumbass put him up there in the first place.”

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