Vomiting It All Up
Really Tim? Really?
Hmmm…
What ChatGPT thinks I look like based on our interactions so far. And I hate to admit it, but it does resonate with me. Is this who is really driving this rapidly-deteriorating bag of flesh avatar I find myself in?
A Certain Aesthetic
I Apologize In Advance
Bonus: IYKYK
Midweek Madness From Jeff Tiedrich
spare some thoughts and prayers for MAGA, they’re going through some things right now.
it turns out that Dear Leader and his minions are lying to them. or maybe Dear Leader and his minions had been lying to them in the past, but are now telling the truth. or maybe they were lying back then and are still lying now. or maybe— fuck it, my head hurts. let’s just dive head-first into this mess.
here’s a thing that we definitely all heard Pam Bondi say last February.
Fox: “the DOJ may be releasing the list of Jeffrey Epstein’s clients? will that really happen?”
Pam Bondi: “it’s sitting on my desk right now to review. that’s been a directive by President Trump. I’m reviewing that.”
“it’s sitting on my desk right now.” keep that line in your mind as you read on.
now, here’s a super-cool thing that President Donny once said about Jeffrey Epstein.
“I’ve known Jeff [Epstein] for 15 years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”
Jeffrey Epstein is, of course, the fuckface pedophile rapist who liked to host parties for his fuckface pedophile rapist friends, during which under-aged girls were — you guessed it — raped. Epstein would fly his fuckface pedophile rapist friends around in a private jet that was nicknamed the Lolita Express, because of course it was. everyone involved in this story fucking sucks.
Epstein got arrested in 2019 for being a fuckface pedophile rapist, and then, while in jail awaiting trial, either epsteined himself, or got epsteined by a person or persons unknown. we’ll never know exactly what happened, because the video camera that was trained on Epstein’s cell twenty-four hours a day magically stopped running for a minute, and when it started back up again, Epstein was on the wrong side of dead.
by the way, after Epstein got arrested, Donny changed his story. Epstein was no longer his great friend. the new fairy tale was that Donny barely knew the guy, and never liked him, and they hardly ever hung out — which is weird, because there are more photos of Donny and Epstein together than there are of Donny with his own son Barron.
look at these two homeys who barely know each other. they sure act like complete strangers, don’t they?
anyhoo, it has long been rumored that Epstein kept a ‘client list’ of all the fuckface pedophile rapist friends who partied with him. that’s the list that Pam Bondi insisted was ‘on her desk’ last February.
one of Donny’s campaign promises was that he was going to release that list. that promise was red meat for the cultists, because supposedly the list was being suppressed by all the Democrats who were on it, and Donny was at long last going to expose them all.
it’s here that I must state that if there actually is a ‘client list,’ everyone on it — Democrat or Republican — should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
in March — a month after Pam Bondi assured us that the Epstein client list was ‘on her desk’ — a bunch of MAGA influencers were invited to the White House and were all given binders that were labeled “The Epstein Files, Part 1.”
it was a complete dog-and-pony show. there was nothing new in the binders, just a rehash of material that had already been made public. but don’t worry, the White House told the influencers, Part 2 is going to have all the good stuff in it. you’re going to finally see that client list that’s been on Pam Bondi’s desk.
all of this winding-up of the cultists is super fucking weird, considering that two days ago, the DOJ completely changed their tune and announced that there never was a client list, and Jeffrey Epstein epsteined himself.
and now, every cultist is all what the fucking fuck?
in fact, all of us are asking what the fucking fuck? because we all heard Pam Bondi say that the client list was ‘on her desk,’ and that she had a directive from Donny to ‘review it.’
even Fox News lapdog Peter Doocy wants to know what the fucking fuck?
Doocy: “so what happened to the Epstein client list that the attorney general said she had on her desk?”
Leavitt: “I think if you go back and look at what the attorney general said—”
Doocy: “I’ve got the quote. she said, ‘it’s sitting on my desk right now to review.’”
pro tip: if Peter Doocy is using you as a chew toy, you just might be shit at your job.
so, who told the DOJ to change its story, after months of stringing the cultists on? was it someone whose name rhymes with Ronald Blump?
did Ronald Blump suddenly remember that his name is on the list, and maybe it wasn’t a good idea to release it? we’ll never know. all we can do is speculate.
I’m not a conspiracy guy, but I do know when I’m being fed bullshit.
one thing is for certain — Ronald Blump sure seems interested in changing the subject.
reporter: “could you say why there’s a minute missing from the jailhouse tape?”
Pam Bondi: “sure. if I—”
Donny, cutting her off: “could I just interrupt for one second? are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein? this guy’s been talked about for years. you’re asking— we have Texas, we have this, we have all of the things— and, are people still talking about this guy?”
yes, Donny. people are still talking about ‘this guy’ — because as usual, none of your lies add up.
in the absence of facts, one thing we can do is mock all the dipshit cultists who just realized they got played.
Pizzagate Jack wants to know why, if there was no client list, Ghislaine Maxwell is still in jail.
so does Madge Three-Toes.
stop it, you two. you’re breaking our hearts.
then there’s the ‘why is the deep state doing this to Donny’ contingent, led by Fox News found object Jesse Watters.
it would break Jesse’s brain to admit that Dear Leader has any culpability in the disappearing of the list, so he has to pretend that the DEEP STATE is in the room with us right now.
wait, it gets better: roasted ball-sack aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson knows the real reason the Deep State destroyed the list.
According to Carlson, the government was actually hiding Epstein’s black book because it would reveal his involvement with American and Israeli spy agencies.
so move over, Deep State, because American and Israeli spy agencies are also in the room with us right now. it’s getting fucking crowded in here.
oh no, Donny — you’ve lost Roseanne Barr.
she’s this close to getting it.
oh gee, did Roger Stone just out himself as being on the client list?
Roger, why so upset? no one mentioned your name — except you.
also, you’ve got to love all the cultists asking “Pam Bondi, who are you protecting?”
you dumb fucknuts, who do you think Pam Bondi is protecting? she only works for one person, you know.
now get ready for the Crowning Moment of Dumb-ass.
so, for those of you keeping score at home, it’s the Deep State, American and Israeli spy agencies, QAnon, Pam Bondi, the media, and a five-dimensional chess board who are all in the room with us right now.
I gotta step out for a moment. I need some fresh air.
the one person in all this who has been unafraid to point his finger at Donny is, of course, the Space Nazi.
but Elon has his own problems right now.
it seems that in his quest to get his own AI, Grok, to stop being so goddamned woke all the time, he over-corrected — and yesterday, Grok spent the entire afternoon tweeting out pro-Hitler messages.
Grok even started calling itself “MechaHitler.”
gosh, it’s hard to believe that the guy who sieg-heiled to commemorate Donny’s inauguration would turn his AI into a pro-Hitler chatbot.
how did we Nazi this coming?
Hmmm…
I think I know what the video’s creator is trying to say, but I keep tripping over the verbiage.
365 Days Of UNF: July 9th
Oops, I Did It Again
And another junk unit finds a second life outside the landfill or a spare parts bin. This one looked simple but it was a bitch to get apart. There is no service manual to be found anywhere on the internet so I had to wing it.
By the time the E630 came out (2004) Sony pretty much had this tech down to a science, and judging by the amount of plastic employed in this model, they were gearing up for cheap, mass production. It initially sold for ¥21 000 ($89 in 2004). And then the iPod happened.
Tuesday Madness From Jeff Tiedrich
here’s a fun thing that Republicans can do right now: go fuck themselves.
oh look, Texas’ doughiest pantload, the Esteemed Senator Fidel Cancun, has found himself a camera to stand in front of.
“I talked about the partisan finger-pointing … just immediately trying to use it, for either side to attack their political opponents, I think that’s cynical and not the right approach.”
okay. on the one hand, Ted is not entirely wrong, about knee-jerk finger-pointing from ‘either side.’ but on the other hand — hey, Ted, is this you?
in today’s Verdict With Ted Cruz podcast, we break down the catastrophic policy decisions made by elected politicians in California, made by Governor Gavin Newsom, made by Mayor Karen Bass … they put politics over the safety of the men and women in California..”
that video was posted on January 10, 2025, while parts of Los Angeles were burning to the ground. fires were still raging, but Ted Cruz couldn’t wait to politicize the shit out of that tragedy. he dove head-first into partisan finger-pointing with the same vigor he displays when elbowing his way to the front of an all-you-can-eat buffet in Cancun.
in fact, every Republican joined the let’s blame Democrats pile-on — and it wasn’t even legitimate criticism. it was the dumbest fucking hallucinatory bullshit imaginable.
Los Angeles, they said, burned down because of all the woke. because of diversity. because the Fire Commissioner was a woman. the horror! because mean old Gavin Newsom refused to open that imaginary faucet in Canada, causing all the fire hydrants to run dry.
fact check: it was a hurricane made of fucking fire.
those were 98-mile-per-hour winds that the LA Fire Department were dealing with.
where was Ted Cruz’s tut-tutting about let’s not engage in partisan finger-pointing when the Space Nazi not-tweeted this:
Libs of TikTok: “The LA Fire Dept passed a ‘racial equity plan’ to end ‘systemic, institutional, and structural racism’ in LA.”
Space Nazi: “They prioritized DEI over saving lives and homes.”
racism doesn’t get more racist than ‘LA burned because they let those peoplebe firefighters.’
where was Ted Cruz’s outrage when Fox News found object Jesse Waters shit his vile misogyny right into the waiting mouths of his audience?
“this right here, ladies and gentlemen, this is the leadership of the LA Fire Department. I sure hope they know what they’re doing.”
I guess Ted was too busy recording his own worthless podcast to notice.
and let us not forget President Stupid J. Fuckingmoron’s obsession with that imaginary spigot, which in this instance had apparently migrated from Canada to northern California.
“Governor Gavin Newscum should immediately go to Northern California and open up the water main, and let the water flow into his dry, starving, burning State, instead of having it go out into the Pacific Ocean. It ought to be done right now, NO MORE EXCUSES FROM THIS INCOMPETENT GOVERNOR. IT’S ALREADY FAR TOO LATE!”
remember the extortion racket that Republicans tried to pull, while the fires were still raging?
that was the genius plan of some fuckface congressman from Ohio. he wanted to punish every Californian by withholding aid unless Gavin Newsom personally raked every forest. all Republicans — including Fidel Cancun — were on board with that.
you want partisan finger-pointing? every time there’s a natural disaster in a Democratic-run state, Republicans use it as a chance to air grievances and settle scores.
here’s a golden oldie from 2018, during the Mad King’s first reign.
Mark Harvey, who was Trump’s senior director for resilience policy on the National Security Council staff, told E&E News on Wednesday that Trump initially refused to approve disaster aid for California after deadly wildfires in 2018 because of the state’s Democratic leanings.
in this instance, Donny wasn’t even trying to get California to change its policies. he just wanted to inflict pain on people he imagined didn’t vote for him, because fuck you, that’s why.
Donny’s appalled staff had to literally draw him a picture that showed that Orange County had in fact more Republicans than Democrats among its residents.
But Harvey said Trump changed his mind after Harvey pulled voting results to show him that heavily damaged Orange County, California, had more Trump supporters than the entire state of Iowa.
how presidential.
so please, tell me one more time how Democrats trying to figure out what went wrong during a tragedy where over a hundred people diedare engaging in partisan finger-pointing. that’s such a cute story.
Ted Cruz — and every Republican whining about politicizing the Texas flooding — can shut the fuck up.
oh, by the way, get a load of this: do you know where Ted Cruz was when disaster struck in Texas? he was vacationing in Greece.
Cruz was spotted Saturday visiting the Parthenon in the Greek capital of Athens along with his wife Heidi and their kids, according to the online news site. Back in his home state, emergency personnel searched for missing children swept away in the floodwaters of the Guadalupe River.
to be fair, this is just bad timing.
unlike the Cancun episode, when Cruz fled the country after the power grid failed in Texas, Ted and his family were already out of town when the waters rose. that’s not his fault — but how does this guy manage to always be somewhere else when shit goes sideways?
doesn’t he have a job?
yesterday, Donny got to have a playdate with his despot bestie Netanyahu — and he got to bring his Emotional Support Dunk-Tank Clown with him.
let’s listen in as the Mad King once again tells the heartwarming story of how Iran was courteous enough to schedule their bombing of an American military base so that didn’t get in the way of Dear Leader’s golf game.
“and you know we were, at the end, missiles were shot, and every single missile was shot out of the air, it was pretty amazing. that was sort of the end. and they told us they were coming and where they were and what time they were coming. and they said ‘if you’d like to have a different time, we’ll do that.’ and that’s respect, when they do that, I believe. I appreciated that they did that.”
this is at least the fourth time that Donny has publicly told this shameful story of how he gave an adversary permission to bomb the shit out of us.
I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather have a president who, when asked if one o’clock was a good time to have our military base attacked with deadly force, answered how about never? would never be a good time for you?
but what the fuck is going on with Donny’s face? look at this half-assed job he’s done of tarting himself up. the makeup stops well before his hairline. he’s given himself raccoon eyes, and he didn’t even try to cover his chin.
Donny insists on doing his own makeup — but he’s deteriorated to the point where he routinely fucks it up, just like he routinely fucks everything up.
Donny’s quickly approaching Bette-Davis-in-Whatever-Happened-to-Baby-Jane territory —
and we’re all just expected to ignore the fact that the Emperor has no brain.
this really is the stupidest possible timeline.
Released 48 Years Ago Today
Alan Parsons Project: I, Robot (1977)
365 Days Of UNF: July 8th
The More You Know
California Is The Adult In The Room
Right?!
My Summer 2025 Soundtrack
Verve Remixed (Vol. 1 – 4)
I Miss Joe.
For the four years Biden was in office, not ONCE did I wake up and think, WTF did he do now? I miss that.
It’s HORRIFYING!
“Try Not To Chip A Tooth.”
That’s easy. Are her lips flapping? She’s lying.
Monday Madness From Mr. Tiedrich
as news of the tragedy in Texas unfolded, the President of the United States was in his White House command center, meeting with a team of experts who had been hastily summoned to Washington.
oh, who we kidding here? Donny spent the entire weekend at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery, cheating at golf.
nonetheless, the President’s message was clear: I take full responsibility for what has occurred, and will take every measure necessary to ensure that something like this never happens again.
again, who are we kidding here? the message that Donny farted out of his rancid anus-mouth was ‘none of this is my fault.’
reporter: “do you think the federal government needs to hire back any of the meteorologists who were fired?”
Donny: “I wouldn’t know that. I would think not. this was a thing that happened in seconds. no one expected it. nobody saw it. very talented people are there, they didn’t see it. it’s I guess they said once in a hundred years, you’ve never seen anything like this.”
fact check: piss straight up a rope, Donny. you are useless. you are absolutely useless. you are as useless as a marzipan dildo.
Heather Cox Richardson, could you please explain to Donny why, as usual, he’s completely fucking wrong about everything.
Former National Weather Service officials maintain the forecasts were as accurate as possible and noted the storm escalated abruptly. They told Christopher Flavelle of the New York Times that the problem appeared to be that NWS had lost the staffers who would typically communicate with local authorities to spread the word of dangerous conditions. Molly Taft at Wired confirmed that NWS published flash flood warnings but safety officials didn’t send out public warnings until hours later.
got that, Donny? the Nat Weather Service did an amazing job, given the resources they had to work with. so stop whining that it’s so sad, it’s so sad, nobody could have seen it coming.
maybe if Chainsaw McFuckfuck hadn’t chainsawed the fuck out of the NWS, perhaps there would have been enough people in the office to, y’know, adequately warn everyone who needed to be warned.
anyway, why are you reporters still pestering Donny about this? didn’t he just tell you that one of this shit was his fault? you do know who’s fault it is, don’t you? of course you do. his name rhymes with Joe Biden.
reporter: “are you investigating whether some of the cuts to the federal government left key vacancies at the national weather service?”
Donny: “they didn’t, I’ll tell you, uh, if you look at that, that water situation that all is and that was really the Biden setup. that was not our setup. but I wouldn’t blame Biden for it either.”
dafuk?
in the same breath, Donny tells us it’s Biden’s fault, but he wouldn’t blame Biden — even though he just did blame Biden. how does that work? Donny really fucking sucks at Jedi mind tricks, because no one except the cultists is falling for that bullshit.
but really, I need to know more about this ‘water situation’ that Donny insists is a ‘Biden setup.’ what ‘situation’ is that? does Donny mean the ‘situation’ where water falls out of the sky, really hard? is that Joe Biden’s fault?
Donny really doesn’t understand how water works, does he. all he knows is that there’s a situation. oh, and there’s also some ginormous fucking faucet in Canada that controls all of California’s water.
and he knows the hurricane that devastated Puerto Rico during his first presidency was “from a standpoint of water, really wet.” oh, and he couldn’t do anything to help Puerto Rico, because the ocean was in the way.
oh, and Donny also knows that you can force a hurricane to follow the path of a sharpie, if you wish really hard.
it turns out that I’ve been wrong all along when I’ve been saying that Donny has a toddler’s understanding of the world. it wasn’t fair of me to say that, because what Donny actually has is an infant’s understanding of the world.
oh, speaking of that ginormous fucking faucet that absolutely exists in Canada — remember when Los Angeles burned to the ground and Donny tortured Gavin Newsom over it, blaming him for running California like some commie rat bastard, and threatening to withhold disaster relief funds until Newsom opened that imaginary faucet?
well, it’s really weird that Donny pulled none of that shit with Greg Abbott, the razor-wire torture-trap aficionado who runs Texas. he signed an emergency relief declaration for Texas almost immediately. just a coincidence, I guess.
I guess if Gavin Newsom wanted that kind of preferential treatment, he should have volunteered to open up an Avocado Alcatraz. or maybe the actual Alcatraz, since it’s in his state.
hey, you know who else is just as useless as a marzipan dildo?
House Speaker Marzipan McDildo.
Shannon Bream: “state and federal resources have just poured into that area. is there anything more that can be done congressionally, legislatively, to help these folks?”
Holy Mike Johnson: “in a moment like this, we feel just as helpless as everyone else does … all we know to do at this moment is pray.”
you know what my father would have said to Holy Mike? shit into one hand, pray into the other. see which one fills up first.
come on, reporters. why are you bothering Holy Mike, when he’s busy praying? it’s not like he can do anything about the situation. it’s not like he’s a member of government. it’s not as if he wields the Speaker’s gavel. it’s not like he could have wadded up any of the Mad King’s unconstitutional executive orders, and declared he was using his congressional power to override them. it’s not as if he could have told the Space Nazi to put down his chainsaw and get his pimply incel DOGE dipshits the fuck out of town. it’s not as if he could have told Donny to shove his big, beautiful bill up his ass, and announced that he wasn’t going to vote to fund any of that Police State bullshit.
oh wait, Holy Mike Johnson could have done all those things. he just chose not to. because he’s useless.
how useless is Holy Mike? repeat after me:
oh look, Donny and the Space Nazi are fighting again.
here’s a thing Elon posted to his shithole Nazi-bar app.
it’s fucking heartbreaking.
A Question for ChatGPT
Top 20 Rarely Used English Words:
-
-
- Zugzwang – A situation in chess where any move worsens your position. (Rare outside chess contexts)
- Agelast – A person who never laughs.
- Nidificate – To build a nest (used in zoology).
- Cymotrichous – Having wavy hair.
- Wamble – Stomach rumbling or queasiness.
- Yclept – Archaic word meaning “named” or “called.”
- Epizeuxis – A rhetorical term for the repetition of a word for emphasis.
- Cacodemonomania – The delusion that one is possessed by an evil spirit.
- Xylophilous – Attracted to or living on wood (used in biology).
- Brontide – A low rumbling sound like distant thunder, sometimes attributed to seismic activity.
- Quockerwodger – A wooden puppet controlled by strings; slang for a politician controlled by others.
- Limerence – The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person.
- Fugleman – A leader or ringleader, especially in military drill.
- Acnestis – The part of the back between the shoulder blades that one cannot reach to scratch.
- Greeble – A small, meaningless detail added to a model or design to make it appear more complex.
- Crapulous – Suffering from excessive eating or drinking.
- Zabernism – The misuse of military authority; bullying.
- Snollygoster – A shrewd, unprincipled person, especially a politician.
- JIRBLE – To spill (a liquid) by shaking or unsteady handling.
- Tyrotoxism – Poisoning by cheese or other dairy products.
-
I hate to be that guy, but why aren’t we using these words speicifially invented for politicians a lot more often?? should we change this?
[source]
My First Attempt
Nerd.
It’s not totally disassembled (ain’t nobody got time for that and it wouldn’t all fit in that 11×14 frame if I did), but I think it’s a decent first attempt at geek art. Not sure about the adhesive I used (e6000), but we’ll give it 24 hours and see how it ultimately sets up. I may have to go back with some plain old hot glue before I seal everything up.
365 Days Of UNF: July 7th
Vomiting It All Up
Triptych
Sunday Sacrilege
And They Say The Left Is Radical…
