Vintage Audio Porn

My buddy Ken bought one of these new back in the day, and I confess I was very guilty of breaking the Tenth Commandment.

It’s Been a Rough Decade
Especially the last two years. If it weren’t for Ben in my life, I’m sure I’d look much worse.

No Presidency

Amateur

Who among us has not had three “corn dogs” in our mouth at once?
Men Will Be Men (NSFW)
“I’ve been savin’ ’em up for you, Cleveland.” ~ Bette Midler, Live at Last






































































Yes Daddy


“Yeah, you there…you know what to do.”
365 Days of UNF: Day 13

My First Celebrity Crush

I loved it in Wild Wild West when the story required some reason for him to take his shirt off…




Yes. Yes You Did.

Gratuitous Nick Jonas

Mirror Mirror On The Wall (NSFW)




















We Are The Borg
You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
A couple months ago Ben started watching Star Trek Voyager reruns on Netflix. It’s obvious from his encyclopedic knowledge of the episodes that it hit his life about the same time TOS did mine. I was never a big fan of Voyager, and I finally have up on its original run sometime after the third or fourth season. It wasn’t the storylines or the acting; it was the fact that it relied way too heavily on technobabble when they couldn’t come up with any other explanation of why something happened.
I have to admit however that I got caught up in the show this time around. It started out as background noise while I was doing other things, but started capturing more and more of my attention. The technobabble wasn’t as distracting as I remember (perhaps because our own lives are now peppered with it), but as we enter our viewing the seventh and final season, something else is annoying the ever-loving fuck out of me: the doctor. Did one of the writers have a hard-on for Robert Picardo? It seems he’s become the focus of every other story.
But I digress. I came here to discuss the Borg, not the hologram.
In Voyager we learned a lot about the Borg, but the fundamental question remains unanswered: who are they? Where did they originally come from? Okay, so they’re a big bad hive mind that goes around gobbling up civilizations across the galaxy, but why?
As an acting coach might say, “What is their motivation?”
Some fan fiction posits they came from or are the biproduct/source of VGER (Star Trek: The Motion Picture). I propose something else entirely, although how exactly it would work remains unclear: we are the Borg. Whether they came from the future or via an alternate timeline that breached our own.
Even if this doesn’t fit into the Star Trek universe, I can still easily see our civilization spreading out into the Universe, not as peaceful emissaries and seekers of knowledge, but as rapacious beasts, harvesting whatever we come across in the name of progress and—most importantly—capitalism. I can see us becoming the Borg. We are the alien invaders that figure so prominently in our entertainment. Our current civilization is obsessed with acquisition and control. How is that not unlike the Borg, and if you take it to its absurd conclusion?
And why are there no non-humanoid Borg? We know non-humanoid life forms exist in the Star Trek universe. Why do we not see them assimilated?
And for that matter, has anyone ever seen a Ferngi Borg?
I posed this question on Twitter some time ago, and Sean responded by citing a specific instance where a non-human Borg was featured and pointed out that humanoids in this galaxy are so prevalent because they all descended from a single “seed” deposited by some ancient, unknown species and one would assume that seed included the original Borg.
I also just watched an episode with an assimilated Klingon. But in both cases, these were still humanoid. I’m talking about a distinctly non-humanoid Borg, say for example, a Xindi?
Are they simply not interested in anything that walks on more than two legs? Is it because it’s more cost/resource efficient for their implants to be “one size fits all” (as long as it’s humanoid)? I doubt we will ever get a definitive answer.

365 Days of UNF: Day 12 (NSFW)

Probably a Good Thing
I get idea for posts at the weirdest times…as I’m falling asleep, in the shower, on my way to work…
And then totally space them when I actually sit down to write something.
In order to overcome this memory hole, I’ve started jotting them down in Notes on my phone as soon as safely possible after they pop into my head…
Where they’re again promptly forgotten.
I’m starting to think that’s actually a good thing, because when I go to add another note, I look at the blog ideas written there, remember what it was I was going to write about, and think, “Nah. That’s rubbish,” and post another meme or picture of a naked man.
I may get back to actually writing some day.
365 Days of UNF: Day 11

365 Days of UNF: Day 10

Can I be the meat in that sandwich?
365 Days of UNF: Day 9

Sexy AF
So apparently Technics released some new turntables yesterday. First up—unlike the megabucks decks of the last couple years billed as successors to the iconic 1200mk2—was the 1200mk7.

Visually (except for it’s brand-new all black color) it looks to be the direct descendant of the legendary 1200mk2 line—almost to the point they located the original manufacturing dies. A closer look of course reveals more than a few not-so-subtle differences: a new tonearm, new motor, and new electronics. Pretty much everything has been updated for the 21st century while retaining the same iconic look.
No pricing announced yet, but everything seems to point to less than $1K, which would put it on equal footing with what much-desired used 1200s have been going for on eBay.
More than anything it looks like perhaps Panasonic has actually been listening to their customers who were unimpressed with the wholesale revisions—and astronomical price tags—of what they had earlier released as replacements for the 1200. Did this news make me want to give up my venerable 1300mk2 and run out and buy one?
Not exactly.
But this…




OMFG. When I first saw it I swear I had a spontaneous ejaculation.
Sexy. As. Fuck.
Most definitely not a DJ deck, the sl1500c is a fresh take on their wonderful direct drive home turntables of years long past. While the 1500 moniker implies a completely manual deck, this one lifts the arm and shuts off at the end of the record (more like their old 1400 series machines), but I’m not going to quibble. It has no pitch controls, but other than that seems to boast the same guts as the new 1200s. And the aesthetic? TOTALLY Technics.
I sure don’t need one, but I definitely want one. And the 1500 is available in silver.
Could this actually mark the rebirth of the Technics brand?

365 Days of UNF: Day 8

365 Days of UNF: Day 7 (NSFW)

Monday

Exactly!

