Author: Mark Alexander

Posted on

We Must Find Humor Where We Can Now

“Damage report.” Picard sat down into the chair and braced himself for his worst nightmare.

The previous few days were like this:

“Damage Report.”

“The Environmental Protection Agency has been frozen.”

–

“Damage Report.”

“There has been a gag order issued in the quadrant.”

–

“Damage report.”

“There is now a form of warpdrive that hurts space being used. It is speeding up the process of making black holes.”

–

“There is a protective anti-transporter barrier being built around the planet as we speak.”

Picard leaned back, half afraid to say it. Those five words, “What else can go wrong?” He rubbed the bridge of his nose feeling annoyed and dread. Dripping dread. The dreaded statement. It was as though the year 2017 was happening, from what little documentation remained from earth, all over again. What the hell was going on down there on Earth? Why was there a xenophobic human in charge of Star Fleet? Captain Kirk did not retire for this. What was next? Taking Earth out of the UFP? It would hurt Star Fleet as a whole. He didn’t expect this to happen. Honestly. He voted for Janeway. Where would they go? The crew went out into space to explore and meet new civilizations. He didn’t want to go back to Earth. Families were aboard the Enterprise.  They could always go to Alpha Centauri and re-establish Star Fleet Command from there.  Earth was returning to its isolationist state. The admirals had been planning for that and had informed Picard of this contingency plan among other captains. They were report there when the threatening, very conservative started turning issuing executive orders. People were likely leaving in the dozens by this news.

What is next?

Specie migration/immigration being pulled to a halt? And escorted from Earth?

“Captain. .  .”

Picard lowered his hand after careful consideration.

“Plot course for Alpha Centauri.”

It made him sick to think this was really happening. He couldn’t believe it wasn’t a trick pulled by Q. God, did he wish that it was the case. Many of the crew members shared his feelings. Data,Geordi, Deanna,Worf, Wesley.  . . Never mind that Wesley was his son who also happened to be a entity. Unity was the strength of Star Fleet. Never mind how Military like it had become. The main goal was to explore. God, the next president had to be better than this man.

“Aye, Captain.”

(Source)
Posted on

Poor Baby!

Aww! Are his widdle fweelings hurt? Does Pwesident Poopypants need his diapey changed? Maybe he just needs a sippy cup or his bwankie…

From OccupyDemocrats:

President Donald Trump is the toughest. He is the best. He has the fortitude to stand against all of the evils of the world. At least that is the venom which he spews to distract from the reality that he has the mental toughness of a 3-year-old and cannot handle the fact that the majority of the American people despise him and would not invite him to their cocktail parties. America’s great leader believes the protests are unfair and that he is not being allowed to “enjoy” the White House due to millions of Americans constantly protesting outside of the White House gates.

The newly minted 45th President of the United States has been throwing temper tantrums over the accurate media coverage he has been receiving from the sparse attendance of his inauguration ceremony in comparison to the attendance of the women’s march in Washington.

According to a White House source, who asked to remain anonymous as they feared losing their job, said Trump accused CNN of “gloating” by comparing the size of the crowds by placing side by side ariel views of the two events. Indeed, how dare CNN present information to the American people which show Trump in an unfavorable light? Perhaps Trump found it surprising that so many women would protest his presidency after he signed an executive order attacking abortion rights.

 Trump’s discontent is based upon his unrealistic belief that the press, with whom he has had a hostile relationship, would offer him favorable coverage once he assumed power in the Oval Office. This delusional pipedream of Trump’s is a crystallized example of his inane obliviousness and inability to understand the political environment which he himself sowed. However, while being a buffoon, Trump is keenly aware of the media’s perception of him and he’s told individuals close to him that he believes media coverage has grown worse.

The White House Press Secretary Minister of Propaganda, Sean Spicer, has been taking a bruising beating over following through with Trump’s edict of claiming that he’d of won the popular vote had it not been for millions of illegal immigrants voting for Hillary Clinton. When Spicer was asked why Trump continues using this talking point he said, “He believes what he believes based on the information he was provided.”

Spicer then offered up as evidence a report from 2008 by the Pew Charitable Trust, which Trump has cited before, and said that 14% of votes were cast by noncitizens. That report, in fact, is from 2012 and deals with voter registration numbers and has nothing to do with voter fraud. 

Thus far the only strategy with which Trump’s team has been able to come up to battle his hemorrhaging ego is to keep him away from a television set. This is doomed to fail as they’ve not been able to dissuade Trump from embarrassing himself and the nation via his nonsensical, and often misspelled, Twitter posts. Instead, Trump will be forced to reconcile himself to being barraged for the term of his presidency with criticism. He is now the most watched man on the planet and he should start acting like it.  That includes not considering the White House to be his own personal compound to “enjoy,” but rather the home of the American people that he serves who have every right to express their grievances with him.

Posted on

Just Remember

That even though Cheeto McShitgibbon is drunk on Executive Orders, allowing him to play the petty dictator and bark orders to the country, the next Administration (assuming we survive this one) can wipe them all out as quickly as he did Obama’s.

Posted on

Chilling

It’s no wonder she doesn’t want to move into the White House with the monster. Those are the faces of abused and abuser.

Posted on

Telling It Like It Is

Two years ago if everyone of these Trump Zombies was asked what they thought of Donald Trump they’d say “the rich dude who fires people on TV?” Not what a great political mind he is, not what a compassionate champion of the middle class he is and certainly not what a classy, level headed representative of American values he was.

The megalomaniacal fraud knowingly let a foreign power interfere with an American Presidential election all the while throwing up the smoke screen that it was HE who was the victim of a rigged process.

He’s incompetent, unqualified and dangerously erratic as his Twitter feed for the last 5 years has explicitly shown. He is a low class, silverspooned con artist who gave a pro wrestling style heel promo that all the sub IQ80 closeted bigots, who were upset that the black guy won, bought hook, line and sinker.

The GOP has forgotten that we’re all politically both sides of the same coin. Winning at all costs is all that matters and they all are complicit in participating in the most egregious attack on the democracy of the United States ever. They’ve let a rooster loose in the hen house and knowingly have put the future of our country in unprecedented peril.

GOP’s knew from jumpstreet that he was a egotistical buffoon, and several top Republicans would refuse endorsements and tell the truth about Trump just as intensely as Democrats did. Yet everytime they made a stand they would for a few days, then they’d capitulate and crawl up Trump’s ass because they couldn’t bear the thought that Hillary might win. They’d rather have an insane, sociopathic man child be leader of the free world than “that bitch”, a fully competent, experienced States woman. It is short-sighted and if the Earth survives for the history to be written, it will indict the Republicans who followed Trump and see them as we see Goebbels, Hess and Göring today.

Those who voted for him and all of those who could have voted but didn’t, are just as complicit. The real crime is that 3 million more people chose the other candidate but since we still adhere to an archaic, stoneage system (the Electoral College) that was put in place to appease SLAVE OWNERS, Trump squeaked by, and by squeaked we’re talking about “winning” by less than 0.9% in the 3 states that put him over the EC 270 threshold.

With Russia’s hacking taking an unknown toll, the FBI putting on a false flag operation a week before the election and the news media giving Trump 100x the TV advertising while he claimed they hampered him, that sham of an Inauguration will go down as the nadir if American history. He shouldn’t be President and the damage he will bring is frightening to ponder. He was more concerned about the crowd sizes than what he’ll replace the Affordable Care Act with, that will send millions back into being uninsured, or any of the other pressing issues that a REAL leader should be addressing.

The funny thing is it used to be the GOP was the “patrioric” party, acting as if they had the patent on patriotism. Look to the days after 9/11 when if you dared criticize Bush Jr or not hang a flag off your window you were deemed a commie. Curious then that the GOP now support a man proven to be in bed with Russia, who makes excuses for the Kremlin all the while with Putin’s hand pushed squarely up his ass.

Trump and those who support him are not Americans, they’re traitors, end of story.

(Source)

Posted on

I Did Not Write This…

…but I wish I did.

I listened as they called my President a Muslim.
I listened as they called him and his family a pack of monkeys.
I listened as they said he wasn’t born here.
I watched as they blocked every single path to progress that they could.
I saw the pictures of him as Hitler.
I watched them shut down the government and hurt the entire nation twice.
I watched them turn their backs on every opportunity to open worthwhile dialog.
I watched them say that they would not even listen to any choice for Supreme Court no matter who the nominee was.
I listened as they openly said that they will oppose him at every turn.
I watched as they did just that.
I listened. I watched. I paid attention.
Now, I’m being called on to be tolerant.
To move forward.
To denounce protesters.
To “Get over it.”
To accept this. I will not.
I will do my part to make sure this great American mistake becomes the embarrassing footnote of our history that it deserves to be.
I will do this as quickly as possible every chance I get.
I will do my part to limit the damage that this man can do to my country.
I will watch his every move and point out every single mistake and misdeed in a loud and proud voice.
I will let you know in a loud voice every time this man backs away from a promise he made to them.
Them. The people who voted for him.
The ones who sold their souls and prayed for him to win.
I will do this so that they never forget.
And they will hear me.
They will see it in my eyes when I look at them.
They will hear it in my voice when I talk to them.
They will know that I know who they are.
They will know that I know what they are.
Do not call for my tolerance. I’ve tolerated all I can.
Now it’s their turn to tolerate ridicule.
Be aware, make no mistake about it, every single thing that goes wrong in our country from this day forward is now Trump’s fault just as much as they thought it was Obama’s.
I find it unreasonable for them to expect from me what they were entirely unwilling to give.
Posted on

Truth

“You’re not going to be the worst, most incompetent president of the 21st century after all, George,” she said.

“Tell me about the rabbits, Michelle.”

Posted on

Quote Of The Day

These are not normal times. These are extraordinary times. And extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. When you have a spokesperson for the president of the United States wrap up a lie in the Orwellian phrase “alternative facts”…

When you have a press secretary in his first appearance before the White House reporters threaten, bully, lie, and then walk out of the briefing room without the cajones to answer a single question…

When you have a President stand before the stars of the fallen CIA agents and boast about the size of his crowds (lies) and how great his authoritarian inaugural speech was….

These are not normal times. The press has never seen anything like this before. The public has never seen anything like this before. And the political leaders of both parties have never seen anything like this before.

What can we do? We can all step up and say simply and without equivocation. “A lie, is a lie, is a lie!” And if someone won’t say it, those of us who know that there is such a thing as the truth must do whatever is in our power to diminish the liar’s malignant reach into our society.

There is one group of people who can do a lot – very quickly. And that is Republicans in Congress. Without their support, Donald Trump’s presidency will falter. So here is what I think everyone in the press must do. If you are interviewing a Paul Ryan, a Mitch McConnell, or any other GOP elected official, the first question must be “what will you do to combat the lying from the White House?” If they dodge and weave, keep with the follow ups. And if they refuse to give a satisfactory answer, end the interview.

Facts and the truth are not partisan. They are the bedrock of our democracy. And you are either with them, with us, with our Constitution, our history, and the future of our nation, or you are against it. Everyone must answer that question.” ~ Dan Rather

Posted on

Just Try To Grab A Pussy, Donald

I guarantee from this point forward you’ll be pulling back a bloody stump.

Yesterday showed me that this is not Germany 1938 and will never be. If Trump and his thugs think they’re just going to roll over the opposition, they’ve got another thought coming. This country has freedom of speech and of assembly woven into its DNA, and as much as Cheetolini would like to and will undoubtedly try to, this—and yesterday’s crowds—cannot be denied.

Photo source

Posted on

Another Explanation For The Fermi Paradox

Trump’s election and what he represents probably also explains why we have not been—at least openly—visited by any extraterrestrials. I mean, if you looked down on the creatures swarming over this planet who possess nuclear weapons, share the same DNA with each other and can’t even get along with each other, would you want to drop in and say hello? Oh hell to the no! If anything, you’d quarantine this rock…

Posted on

My Hope

My hope is that the Trump name soon becomes so toxic and reviled that even those who share the last name but are of no blood relation are forced to change them.

Posted on

Word.

Posted on

Things More Popular Than Trump

As Cheetolini prepares to assume office with the worst approval rating of any incoming president in the last hundred years, I thought it might be a good time to point out some awful things that are actually more popular than the incoming dictator.

Nickelback
Hair Gropenführer lost to the internationally reviled band by 5 points.

Used Car Salesmen
The jerk who sold you your last lemon gained 6 more points than the Cheeto-in-Chief

Traffic Jams
People preferred being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic over Pumpkin Pinochet by 7 points.

Hipsters
The Tangerine Nutsack went head to head with this frequently loathed population and lost by 7 points.

DMV
We all hate the DMV, but people polled hate the Human-Toupee Hybrid more—by 10 points.

Root Canals
The painful dental procedure was preferred over The Walking Can of Cheese Whiz by 11 points.

Jury Duty
People would rather be forced to give up their time and pay check than live in a nation ruled by Fuckface Von Clownstick, who fell behind this unpleasantry by a whopping 22 points. Welcome to Hell, folks.

Lice
The poll by Public Policy Polling shows that Trumplethinskin lost out to lice by 26 points. Ouch.

Cockroaches
These famously disgusting, disease-carrying bugs score a higher rating than the Mandarin Manchurian Candidate. Fortunately, we know that at least the cockroaches will survive any of the various Trumpocalypses in our darker timelines.

Hemorrhoids
Apparently The Short-Fingered Vulgarian is less desirable than a pain in the butt.

Finance Industry
Wall Street’s disapproval rating is 3 points lower than The Nacho Nazi.

Genghis Khan
People actually view the ruler of the Mongol hoard more favorably than The Mangled Apricot Hellbeast. A telling statistic.

But it’s not all bad news for the PEOTUS. He does still manage to beat infamous cult leader/serial murderer Charles Manson. So, chin(s) up Donald, there’s no place to go but up.

Posted on

Wheels Within Wheels


“We live in loops as tight and as closed as the hosts do, seldom questioning our choices, content, for the most part, to be told what to do next.” ~ Dr. Robert Ford, Westworld

I remember having one of those deep, philosophical discussions with a friend several years ago and the subject of reincarnation came up. He posited that reincarnation was indeed real, but that instead of moving on to new adventures in new timelines, we simply go back and do everything again and again, until—as he put it—we get it right. At the time that thought horrified me; it was like we were trapped in a never-ending Groundhog Day, but blessedly unaware that we’d passed this way before.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot now that the first season of Westworld has come and gone, and that one quote above stands out. I mean, it makes as much sense as anything else to explain our “reality.”

But how would this work? How could you reincarnate again and again into the exact same timeline, only to unchangingly experience the same things again and again—and what about everyone else who you’ve interacted with?

I guess the only way I was able to wrap my had around it was to envision it as an infinitely complex series of interlocking gears. Your lifetime is one gear. Connected to that gear are the gears of everyone else in your life; everyone you’ve known or are yet to meet; and through those gears, the gears of everyone who has ever lived—or will ever live. You’re all meshed together, but only certain segments of those gears actively interact with each other (i.e., your time in each other’s lives).

Philosophically speaking, the only issue I have with this idea is that it doesn’t allow for any change or growth beyond one’s original storyline, something that is the antithesis of what we’ve come to accept as being a fundamental part of life and of being human.

But it does explain those occasional instances of Déjà vu, does it not?

Posted on

Quote Of The Day

I don’t see this president-elect as a legitimate president… I think the Russians participated in helping this man get elected. And they helped destroy the candidacy of Hillary Clinton.” ~ Legitimately elected state representative John Lewis (D-Georgia) who will not be attending Trump’s coronation inauguration.