Shitposting since 2005
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Tupperware is great for saving food I want to throw away later.
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A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.” ~ Bob Dylan
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…than I did yesterday, or the day before, or even last month—but the calendar tells me that I’ve somehow managed to survive one more trip around the sun.
When I was in my 20s, my 50s seemed impossibly far away. Now looking back it feels like the years have passed in the blink of an eye. Hell, I realized that next year Ben and I will be celebrating ten years together!
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…how to bring the boys to the yard.
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We saw Alien Covenent tonight.
It wasn’t a bad movie, but it wasn’t a good one, either.
I had hoped for so much more.
My initial thought as the credits were rolling was that this franchise has become the M. Night Shamalan of the genre; something that started out great and rapidly deteriorated to predictable, meaningless, crap.
Predictable is the key word here. There is nothing left to shock or surprise any more. You already know that by the end of the film everyone except one or two humans and the Synthetic will have been dispatched in the most gruesome ways possible.
The monster alien drips acid. The alien has a double steel jaw and likes to tunnel through your skull with it. The alien will burst out of your body somewhere. And most importantly, if you’re separated from your comrades and your attention is focused somewhere else, you will die.
Viewed strictly as horror cinema (which is what the Alien franchise is), it was much more effective when you didn’t know every anatomical detail of what was lurking in the shadows. What we don’t know is far scarier than what we do.
I remember how I felt after leaving the theater back in 1979 at the original Alien premiere. It scared the bejeebus out of me. I kept looking over my shoulder as I walked back to my car, and then kept one eye on my rearview mirror all the way home.
In 1986, after screening Aliens (IMHO probably the best film of the series), I came home and promptly turned on every light in the apartment.
But no more. Now the whole thing now just strikes me as silly.
To its credit, Covenant isn’t chock full of stupid scientists the way Prometheus was. It also answers most—if not all—of the outstanding questions posed by its predecessor. But it was so damned predictable. Ben whispered the final “gotcha” moment to me a good fifteen minutes before the end of the film; something I’d also already figured out on my own.
And Ridley Scott says he wants to do five more? Please, for the love of the gods, NO. Let it DIE.
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They weren’t the circumstances under which I wanted this to happen, but since it did, I’m going to make the best of it—even if it means #backindebt again.
Say hello to my new Mac.
I’ve had it less than 24 hours, but I have to say that everything I’ve read online about this machine is true. It’s beautiful. It’s responsive. The display is awesome. But what do I like the most?
The keyboard.
I’d been a little worried about how it would “feel” in relation to all previous iterations of the Apple keyboard because of all the negative press the redesign initially received, but at least for me, it’s an absolute joy to use. The keyboard illumination is uniform and has no light leak at all.
You know what I like second most? The fact that encountering a page full of animated gifs online or using Adobe Bridge no longer sends the fans into overdrive. That is wonderful!
Yeah, I kind of miss the glowing Apple logo on the case, and I still think the Touch Bar is more gimmick than anything else, but there’s no denying it’s a cool gimmick, and maybe some day I’ll actually use it for more than just changing screen brightness or playback volume…
Since this time I was able to restore from my last Time Machine backup in full—in comparison to having to pick and choose what to leave out because Ben’s old MacBook couldn’t hold it all—bringing this machine online and have everything work from the get go was a breeze.
And now there’s a new rule in this house: NO LIQUIDS ANYWHERE NEAR OUR TECH!
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Forget about the Presidency for a moment. Trump’s behavior would get him fired from Applebee’s.” ~ Andy Borowitz
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…until you really start looking at it.
How many horrific things can you find?
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It’s been a long fuckin’ week.
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Children of the Damned
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…as an antidote for everything horrible going on in the world right now. I was laughing so hard tears were running down my cheeks.
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Can you believe this man is FORTY TWO years old? There has to be a truly horrific, rapidly deteriorating portrait stashed in a basement somewhere.
But the love of all that is holy, Ryan, STOP SHAVING YOUR FUCKING CHEST!
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There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” ~ Isaac Asimov
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Why is it law to vaccinate our pets, yet people hide behind the 1st Amendment when it comes to vaccinating our children?
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Who wears short shorts? I wore short shorts!
June 1984, Mesa Community Center
*this was queued for Thursday but never got published, so you’re getting it on Friday, bitches!
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“Since when were you afraid of getting a little wet?”
And there isn’t even any one left in my tribe to mourn their 
