
Monday

In the Immortal Words of Yoda…
“And this is why you fail.”

Stay classy, Microsoft.
A Gentle Reminder to the NSA

Barney Obviously Doesn’t Care

“Hey Barney, I wonder what the girls are up to?”
Caption This

Quote of the Day
“Religion is not merely the opiate of the masses. It is the cyanide.” ~ Tom Robbins
Sunday Sermon

Worth Repeating

Hi

If Only
I’d pay to watch.
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Oh, SNAP!

Quote of the Day
“Look, maybe when you started working 30 years ago suggesting someone was gay helped win arguments, but now you just sound like an ass.” ~ Meeting Boy
Living With Pugs Makes You Do Things
Michael, my last housemate in San Francisco had three pugs. All female, they were named Carlotta, Frances(ca), and Wanita. Carlotta, the little black one, was definitely the alpha female of the group, and also had the most personality. Frances was neurotic and Wanita was the most nonchalant and laid back of the three, providing a stabilizing counterpoint to the antics of the other two.
I’d known Michael for years prior to us living together. We shared a similar twisted sense of humor and love of wordplay. One day, shortly after I’d moved back to Tucson, I received in the mail a hastily thrown together xerox parody one-sheet from him for an upcoming film called Feces. The movie Species was playing at the time, so I immediately caught the humor in the name—especially with the photo he’d used of Carlotta taking a big dump in the back yard of his house.
I thought, “I can turn this into something really amazing” and after receiving a digital copy of the photo he’d used, sat down and went to work. Little did I know what I’d be starting…
Never shy in front of a camera, Michael had taken dozens of amazing photos of Carlotta over the years. One of my favorites prompted the creation of her followup film:
After I returned to San Francisco and Michael and I moved in together, I became much more intimately aware of the dogs’ personalities, and before long they were appearing in my dreams.
One night, I’d dreamt that instead of just one Carlotta, the house was overrun with a multitude. “When a cloning experiment goes terribly wrong.” Thus the inspiration for another one-sheet…
Not wanting to be left out of the limelight, soon her “sisters” demanded screen time.
One afternoon Wanita and Francesca were laying on the sofa in such a way that they looked like one continuous creature buried in a blanket. Immediately I thought “Sandworm!” and grabbed my camera. Another star was born…
The last unfilmed blockbuster Dragon Lady Productions was to produce starred the third of the pug sisters, poor, demented Francesca. As I mentioned earlier, Frances wasn’t really all there at times and had the disgusting proclivity of munching on the most disgusting of self-made snacks she’d left in the back yard. But as they say in Hollywood, turn that liability into an asset…
Absolutely NO ONE will be seated during the horrifying flossing sequence!
It should be noted that Michael was a huge fan of Karen Black, which explains why—even though the films revolve around the dogs’ characters—she is always billed as the star. We’ve kept these posters to ourselves all these years, but now that Miss Black has left the arena, I figure it’s safe to release them onto an unsuspecting world. As far as all the other names are concerned…well, it’s parody after all and the references will undoubtedly be lost on anyone who wasn’t there during their creation to begin with, but hopefully they’ll garner a few chuckles along the way nonetheless.
Sadly, the pug sisters’ film careers came to and end after Cafe eColi, and—like Miss Black herself—have long since left the arena. But they will live on forever in our memories.
Friday

UNF (NSFW)













Fore!

A Reason for the Season

And To All a Good Night
Quote of the Day
“I have been courted by various people and government officials to do business in Uganda. I was seriously considering it. However, the dreadful witch hunt against the gay community and lifetime sentences means it would be against my conscience to support this country. I would urge other companies worldwide to follow suit. Uganda must reconsider or find it being ostracised by companies and tourists worldwide. Governments must realise that people should be able to love whoever they want. It is not for any government (or anyone else) to ever make any judgements on people’s sexuality. They should instead celebrate when people build loving relationships that strengthen society, no matter who they are.” ~ Billionaire entrepreneur Richard Branson, in a statement published on the front page of the Virgin companies’ website.
Monday

Am I Really That Easily Categorized?

Yes, but there are worse things to be associated with, I’m sure.
Word.

I Could Live There




You are on the Wrong Side of History

Just Because
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Won’t Someone Please Think of the Children?

America’s Got Talent



I’ll bet these boys are fun at parties.
Musings on the Night of the Winter Solstice
On this, the longest night of the year, I want to wish each and every one of my readers a very happy winter solstice and may all your wishes for the next twelve months come true.
As the days have grown shorter and the shadows longer, my thoughts have returned to something I have often pondered over the years. Namely, what kind of religions and mythology would arise among an indigenous population on a world orbiting a double sun, especially in a system where the planet orbited outside the mutual orbit of the suns (thus keeping the suns in close proximity to each other in the sky) and the two stars were identical or close to identical in size, brightness, and other physical characteristics.

I can’t help but think that their belief in soulmates would be profound, and how the merging of two entities into one would be paramount in their religion. As the two suns would appear to dance around each other and then periodically seem to merge into a single orb (in the relatively rare instances when everything lined up properly) during conjunction, I think it would create a belief system that prized cooperation over selfishness. Sex, coupling, and partnership would be praised and I think war would be a very alien concept to this race.
Furthermore, if the stars were of the same color, I’d go so far as to say that same-sex unions might be highly prized, moreso than if the stars were different colors. The different color argument could also be interpreted to implicitly bless mixed-race (if they had them) unions.
This double-sun scenario would also produce interesting physical effects on a very personal scale as well. Two suns would cast double shadows. If the suns were identical in color, perhaps these shadows would symbolize separate-but-connected aspect between the physical and spiritual aspect of life to these beings. If the suns were of different colors, perhaps it could just as easily symbolize the ying and yang, the good and evil dichotomy of life and how even those are connected, because the shadow cast by one sun would actually be tinted the color of the other sun.
If you threw a third sun into the system (most likely beyond the orbit of the planet itself, causing it to periodically travel into the planet’s night sky), I think the beliefs and mythology would get even more interesting, because during part of the year it would appear to be rushing to join the pair of main suns, part of the year appearing to join in that dance, part of the year appearing to rush away from the pair of suns, and finally spending part of the year absent from the daylight sky altogether, “banished” as it were, to the night sky.
Then we have the altogether different arrangement from my forever-a-work-in-progress book, that takes place in a system whose main sun is so incredibly large and hot and luminous and the habitable zone surrounding it so huge that any life-sustaining worlds would have orbits (and therefore years) that would last hundreds—if not thousands—of Earthly years. In this scenario, the sun would not appear to move against the background of stars on a time scale that would be immediately apparent to a race at all. It would be as if our sun took twice a human lifetime just to pass through a single sign of the zodiac. And the same goes for observation of whatever other planets there might be (possibly dozens) in the system. Would early (i.e. non-telescopic) stargazers even recognize them as something different from the background stars?
And in this case, if the planet’s own axis rotation did not have an appreciable wobble, seasons on this world would also last hundreds of years. A human could be born, grow old and die without ever seeing a change from winter to spring or spring to summer.
My book system is actually based on a real star: Rigel in the constellation Orion. Rigel is an incredibly hot and bright star, something like 40 times the size of our sun, 60,000 times as brilliant and lies anywhere from 600 to 900 light years from Earth, depending on who you talk to. We know it has a pair of companion stars, each of which is about five times the size of our sun that revolve around their own center of gravity, and together orbit the main star at about 50 times the distance between our sun and Pluto.
And if you want to take this mental exercise even further, consider this: While they could theoretically be present and part of the system, at this huge distance, even with a telescope we would be unable to detect stars the size and brightness of our own sun because of glare from the main star. (Even seeing that pair of huge companion stars is difficult with the largest telescopes.)
So this presents an interesting scenario in and of itself: in addition to the pair of giant suns orbiting supergiant Rigel, there may in fact, be sun-sized stars and planetary systems also in orbit around Rigel, much like Jupiter and Saturn have their own mini “solar systems” of moons surrounding them in our own system.
If this is indeed the case, the night skies on any worlds (whether they orbit the main star or the double companion or unseen sun-sized stars) would be incredible beyond our wildest dreams. If you throw into the mix the fact that Rigel is in the same neighborhood as a group of other huge, luminous blue-white stars (Orion’s “belt” and “sword”), the night skies must be awesome.
It’s a Valid Point

I so want to get this made into a bumper sticker, but I also don’t want my car vandalized.















