Nice Appendectomy Scar There, Bud (NSFW)
Caption: “Cute security guard walked in on me taking pics. I tried to recover and act nonchalant. He went to the bathroom stall to pee. I whipped it back out and continued to jack off. When he flushed the toilet, I tucked my dick back in my pants but had an obvious boner tent. We made small talk while he washed his hands and then he left. I finished jacking and shot my load.”
It’s a Duck in a Wine Glass
Your argument is invalid.
Compare and Contrast
You’re Doing It Wrong
Word.
I Could Live There
Oh Max…
…when they dropped your storyline I lost all interest in Glee.
 |
 |
 |
 |
I am SO Tired of Stupid
I mean seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people?
This morning I was taking my usual route to work, going about five miles an hour over the speed limit in the center lane on the freeway. All of a sudden I’m being tailgated by some asshole, even though the lanes on both side of me are clear. Even after the center lane became the far right lane, he stayed on my ass. Typical Denver driver, nothing to really spawn a blog post, until… he got off at my exit simply to flip me off, and then got back on the freeway.
Seriously.
I used to think Phoenix drivers were bad. Then I moved to Denver. Years ago I could go days if not weeks without seeing stupidity while on the road. Now I can’t go five minutes. The majority of people in this city are either high, not paying attention, or simply DO NOT KNOW where they fuck they’re going. “Oh, this lane turns into right turn only at the intersection. Maybe I should get over BEFORE I GET THERE.” No, because that’s too hard. Just come to a complete stop in the middle of that lane and block all the traffic behind you that actually does want to turn right in hopes that someone to your left will let you merge. (This happened not once, but twice in the span of about 100 feet on my way home from work last night.)
This illustrates my biggest gripe about life today: no one thinks ahead. Being taught pro-active thinking seems to have joined cursive handwriting on the list of things no longer being taught to our children.
And while I’m on that subject…
I’m positive the stupidity, self-centeredness and entitlement I’m seeing in society today can be directly attributed to the fact that during the 80s and 90s, schools stopped fostering excellence and exceptionalism, instead adopting the philosophy that all students should be rewarded equally; basically for showing up and breathing. “Everyone gets a gold star no matter what they did because we don’t want to hurt their self-esteem.” Fuck their self-esteem, teach them that one does not get ahead in life by simply showing up.
And so now we have 20- and 30-somethings thinking that no matter what they do, they’re entitled to special treatment and recognition simply because that’s all they’ve ever known. They don’t know how to think. Problem solving has become a lost art. That’s why they block traffic and expect to be allowed to merge when they suddenly find themselves in the wrong lane.
It’s also why—when the other contractor I’m working with runs across some software install instructions that have one or two steps missing or are no longer up to date—he grinds to a complete halt and sits there with a blank look on his face. It’s as if the whole concept of thinking creatively is unknown to him. I was given the same instructions he was, realized they weren’t accurate, and came up with a solution that allowed me to keep on working.
But back to traffic for a moment…
While I admittedly have not lived that many different places, the streets in the cities in which I have lived have all been laid out on a grid. Even the notoriously hilly San Francisco was built that way—resulting in some truly awesome inclines on certain streets. But Denver? Oh hell no, and furthermore what. the. fuck?
From street names that change on a whim as you make your way across the metro area, to roads that curve for absolutely no reason whatsoever and stop lights that are timed in such a way that you spend more time with your foot on the brake than the accelerator, I’m convinced that traffic engineers in Denver have intentionally done everything in their power to restrict the flow of traffic, rather than facilitate it.
And then there’s this. And this. And this.
I could go on, but you get the idea. Is it just me? Is it just living in Denver? Or are we as a culture, truly headed toward Idiocracy?
Monday
Yes Please
Photoset (NSFW)
Let’s just run with this, shall we?
Hi
Submitted Without Comment
It’s the Pits
Best Opening Credits Ever
Problem Solved
Thank you, Erik.
I had to change themes, but at least it’s displaying the way I want it to now. More or less.
 |
 |
 |
 |
Word.
A Question for the Hive Mind
I want to create a centered, borderless 2×2 table to enclose these images. Ideally I’d like to have a small white space between them both horizontally and vertically, but at this point I’d be happy just to get the entire group centered with no borders. How do I do it? I know only basic HTML and no CSS, but I also know I must have at least one reader out there who knows how to do this in their sleep and can send me the necessary code to copy and paste…
Money
Money: it’s something all of us want more of and most of us need to survive in this world, but what exactly is it? I was thinking about this the other day and I came to the inescapable conclusion that money is imaginary. It is a societally-agreed upon concept and really not much more.
Yeah, I understand back in times past it was bits of precious metal exchanged for goods and services, but now it’s just nothing more than our collective belief and faith in slips of paper and increasingly, simply numbers floating through cyberspace.
Think about that for a minute. I don’t know about any of you out there, but for me with the advent of almost universal direct-deposit years ago, money doesn’t even physically change hands any more. I remember back in the 80s when I first started working, having to stand in line at a bank—during my lunch hour—to either cash out or deposit a physical paper check. Granted, direct deposit was—and remains—a godsend on so many levels. No more waiting in line behind retired seniors who apparently have no other time during their day except during the lunch hour to go to a bank, and the money itself—er, the numbers are there immediately to be used as you wish. But there’s nothing physically there. I don’t even have printed checks for my current account now. Everything is done electronically.
The entire world economy is now built and running on these electronic numbers—and only because we have all agreed that they mean something. As an avid sci-fi enthusiast, I always chuckle when terms like “galactic credits” or whatnot are brought up because the concept sounds so ridiculous. But seriously, how is our money really any different?
Is there really enough precious metal stockpiled by the world governments to backup all these pretty, multicolored slips of paper and glowing numbers appearing on millions of display screens? And even if there is, why is precious metal precious in the first place—beyond it’s relative scarcity in the scheme of things—and why have we assigned an arbitrary value to it?
If gold—which supposedly guarantees the worth of all those numbers and all that paper—could be synthesized by the ton tomorrow, would the economy collapse? If gold—or any other precious metal—suddenly became worthless, then what?
This reminds me of an episode of the old Twilight Zone series where a group of bank robbers pull of the perfect heist, stealing a million dollars worth of gold bars and then putting themselves into suspended hibernation in a cave to elude capture. Upon awakening from their deep sleep, they enter a world where gold is now manufactured by the ton and their heist is worthless.
Have I taken the red pill? (Or is it the blue one? I haven’t seen The Matrix enough times to remember.)
I am Incorrigible
Indeed
I’m Going to Hell
Mirror Mirror on the Wall (NSFW)
A Cigar is Just a Cigar…
…but sometimes you wish it was your dick.
A Hairy Situation (NSFW)
And Another Thing…
48 Days
48 more fucking days! 7 more weeks!
7 more weeks of laundry being done as noisily as possible at the crack of dawn on Saturday morning. 7 more weeks of hearing doors that are apparently incapable of being closed quietly. 7 more weeks sticky door handles and coffee stains down the front of cabinets. 7 more weeks of arriving home to dog shit in the living room because she couldn’t be bothered to take them out before she left for work. 7 more weeks of finding the dishwasher unemptied with dirty dishes sitting in the sink. 7 more weeks of living with someone who fancies herself an expert on everything. 7 more weeks of Judge Judy twenty four hours a day. 7 more weeks of that smell. 7 more weeks UNTIL WE GET OUR FUCKING HOME BACK TO OURSELVES AND THAT WOMAN IS GONE!
I told Ben the other night that if I never see his mother again after she moves out I’ll live out my life a happy man. He said he was starting to feel the same way.
Worst. Houseguest. Ever.
Ouch.
This one’s gonna leave a mark:
“Then came Windows 8. It was truly awful at a fundamental level that Windows 8.1, 9, or 10 can’t fix unless Microsoft destroys their faltering mobile ambitions once and for all. They won’t. Keep in mind that is a fundamental design choice that is the very basis of the OS design, not a few features that need polishing. Apps won’t come until the user base comes up and IDC has backed up SemiAccurate’s long-held view that this isn’t going to happen. Note the lack of a qualifier like soon, 2017′s numbers are not close to enough even if IDC’s rosy picture pans out. And in light of this, Microsoft forced current and potential customers, pick a tablet OS, us or them, the choice of a real OS has been completely removed by executive fiat.
Stop for a second and ponder the magnitude of this stupidity, the sheer negligence that has to be rife among Microsoft managers and senior executives to allow this. They knew what they were doing and did it anyway, Microsoft knows what users want and made the conscious choice to not only offer something different but to also deny customers the possibility of getting what they needed to work. Every objective third-party said it would be a disaster but Microsoft carried on. On top of this Microsoft gave users another choice, abandon your current Android/iOS apps, music, movies, knowledge, social links, and devices and come to our OS that doesn’t have any apps, music, movies, inherent knowledge, social links, or devices instead.
Worse yet by forcing the new miserable and counter-intuitive UI on people and not allowing legacy Apps on the new store or on WART/Windows Phone, they quite effectively told people you can’t take anything from your current Windows software catalog and knowledge base with you either. Developers had to recode their entire software base for something that had a vanishingly small marketshare and make something incompatible with the billions of PCs currently in use. For some reason they didn’t. Buyers would have to abandon much of what they had bought for Windows 7 and earlier, some software, some media, habits, and many devices that worked for them and that they liked for something that didn’t have apps, didn’t work well, and was truly unpleasant to use. For some reason buyers are not flocking to Windows any more, just the opposite.
It all comes down to Microsoft. The company is so blindingly mismanaged that it is almost impossible to describe in mere words. Microsoft painted themselves in to a corner knowingly. When it was clear that the Windows 8 master plan had unquestionably failed they simply kept going because the situation they engineered meant all other options were far worse. None of these options can succeed, it is just a quest of how bad the outcome will be and how soon it will happen. The company has knowingly destroyed their rock solid desktop monopoly to chase a dream in a way that had absolutely no chance of succeeding. They had to know this before they started, they may be myopic, single-minded, and stubborn but they aren’t stupid. That said they have still failed.”
