Author: Mark Alexander

Posted on

Taking the Opportunity…

…on this, the anniversary of having personally completed one more orbit about the sun, to announce: Life is weird.

As if you hadn’t figured that out on your own already.

While my life bears absolutely no resemblance to what I imagined it would be when I was younger, I’m not complaining, because along with the unexpected unpleasant stuff, sometimes it also brings insanely wonderful things I could never have imagined—like my Ben.

Posted on

Ugh.

Ben is in Phoenix for the long Memorial Holiday weekend.  My plans were to use these couple days of “me” time to see the movies he had no interest in seeing.

You would think that after the Battleship fiasco, I’d pay more attention and trust Ben’s Spidey Sense when it comes to movies, but nooo...

This afternoon after getting back from the airport, I went to see Chernobyl Diaries.

There will be no snarky review this time. I knew after about 45 minutes it wasn’t going to get any better and would probably end horrifically, so I walked out and got my money back. Of course, the fact I walked out (something I have not done for many, many years) is a review in and of itself.

I had also planned on seeing Cabin in the Woods tonight, but after this I just thought, “Why bother?”

So what did I do with the rest of my day?  After dropping off two bags of old clothes I’d been carrying around in the back of Anderson for the last week at the local ARC store, I came home, ripped a couple pieces of vinyl into iTunes, finished up the laundry, and began some much-needed anal-retentive cleaning. I didn’t get as much done as I’d hoped; it’s been a few months since I really did the pull-all-the-knicknacks-off-the-shelves-and-dust thing, but there’s always tomorrow. At least the laundry basket is empty.

And now I have two nights of tossing and turning to look forward to. Despite the fact that I can, in the immortal—if politically incorrect—words of the indomitable Lucile Watson as Mrs. Morehead in The Women, “spread out on the bed like a swastika” in Ben’s absence, I just don’t sleep well when he’s not here.

Posted on

I Think I Found Another Distraction

Love this, but seriously…thank [insert deity of your choice] I’m not in my 20s any more, because some things never change. I remember the angst and the confusion and the general fucked-up-ness.

But it looks like this is going to be a very sweet series.

Posted on

Douchebag of the Day

So Porno Pete LaBarbera (the guy who trawls the Folsom Street Fair and other gay gatherings to capture photos for his “research” and self-proclaimed leader of Americans for Truth About Homosexuality) is flapping his jowls again—in between going down on rent boys—this time at a Hate conference in Spain:

“Simply put, we as a movement must conquer whatever timidity, fear and political correctness we have in NOT wanting to debate the morality of homosexuality–because our fanatically driven LGBT opponents will never relent in their audacious campaign ‘sell’ homosexuality to the public. Notice that while many conservatives shrink from the homosexuality debate, self-described ‘queer’ activists never back-track in their misguided, indeed, pathological quest to compel society to approve of their aberrant ‘lifestyles.'”

Hey Petey Boy…lets try putting that sequined pump on the other foot:

“Simply put, we as a movement must conquer whatever timidity, fear and political correctness we have in NOT wanting to debate the morality of Christianism –because our fanatically driven ‘Christian’ opponents will never relent in their audacious campaign ‘sell’ Christianity to the public. Notice that while many progressives shrink from the Christianity debate, self-described ‘pro-family’ activists never back-track in their misguided, indeed, pathological quest to compel society to approve of their aberrant ‘religious freedom.’“

How does that feel going down, Petey Boy? Probably not as good as those Spanish rent boys…

(That you’re totally doing for research purposes, of course.)

Dude, we get it. You hate us. You really, really hate us. So stop wrapping your hate in the trappings of Christian Love® and just say it. At least then you’d be telling the truth.

In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t the 1950s, where Negros moved to the back of the bus, a woman’s place was barefoot and pregnant, and filthy homos were beaten with impunity, extorted, and made to cower in the darkness. The Millennial Generation doesn’t care who loves who, and they see your bald-faced bigotry for what it is: psychological projection of your own inner desires that you can’t reconcile with your all-consuming self-hatred. Every time you open your mouth and start spouting off about sin and the impending destruction of Western Civilization because of the acceptance of homosexuality, you’re moving one step closer to total irrelevance and announcing to the world that you are, in fact, one big self-hating homo.

You and your little band of “culture warriors” have already lost the war. Give up and surrender.

Posted on

A Question for the Hive Mind

Can someone recommend a good, gay-friendly Primary Care Physician in Denver?

I hate the one who was initially recommended to me by a coworker so much that I haven’t been back since the initial visit.

My doctor in Phoenix has been great about renewing my scrips, but I really need to find someone here I can work with.

Posted on

TGIF

It’s going to be a long holiday weekend without my Bubba. Ben is leaving for Phoenix tomorrow and won’t be back until Tuesday.

Yeah, I’ll enjoy the extended “me” time, but this place won’t be the same without him.

Posted on

Disappearing Act

I’ve always been impressed by the pros who can make items disappear from photos.  I know this can be done in Photoshop, but as I understand it’s a pain in the ass and very time consuming for us amateurs.

That’s why when I heard of a program called Snapheal I was intrigued.

I must say, it does a decent job of doing what it advertises:

This is one of the photos I took for May’s 12 on 12 that didn’t make the final cut. It took only a few minutes for me to make the sign and the skateboarder in the background disappear. Yeah, there are some obvious areas where adjacent areas were cloned to fill in where the sign was cut, but that’s only because I used a pretty large brush. If the areas themselves are smaller, or you’re willing to take more time to use a smaller brush multiple times, the program really does do an excellent job of removing unwanted items from your pictures.

In any case, it’s super easy to use.

If you have a Mac and have a lot of photos that need doctoring, this might be for you. (It also includes the normal suite of tools for retouching/adjusting image quality and removing dust and scratches.)

Posted on

Thursday Dance Party: La Jeté – La Cage Aux Folles

It’s rather gaudy but it’s also rather grand
And while the waiter pads your check he’ll kiss your hand
The clever gigolos romance the wealthy matrons at La Cage Aux Folles.
It’s slightly 40s and a little bit New Wave
You might be dancing with a girl who needs a shave
Where both the riff-raff and the royalty are the patrons at La Cage Aux Folles.

Cage Aux Folles
A Saint-Tropez tradition
Cage Aux Folles
You’ll lose each inhibition
All week long we’re wondering who
Left the green Givenchy gown in the loo.

Here at La Cage we live life…how shall I put it?
On an angle.
Take a deep breath, a sip of champagne
And open your eyes
What do you see?

You’ll be dazzled by the ambiance you’re in
You’ll never notice that there’s water in the gin
Come for a drink and you may want want to spend the winter at La Cage Aux Folles.

It’s bad and beautiful, bawdy and bizarre
I know a duchess who got pregnant at the bar
Just who is who and what is what is quite a question at La Cage Aux Folles

Cage Aux Folles
The maitre d’ is smashing
Cage Aux Folles
The Hat Check girl is flashing
We import the drinkts that you buy
So your Perrier is really Canada Dry.

You go alone you’ll have the evening of your life
You’ll meet your mistress and your boyfriend and your wife
It’s a bonanza, it’s a mad extravaganza
At La Cage Aux Folles.

Cage Aux Folles
A Saint-Tropez tradition
Cage Aux Folles
You’ll lose each inhibition…