Author: Mark Alexander

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I Can Guarantee…

…that when the revolution comes, this asshole will be among the first that the people drag out of his penthouse to string up.

At least some people get it:

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So I’m Sitting Here…

…with Donna Summer’s MacArthur Park Suite blasting in the headphones and I realized that the recruiter I met with earlier today wasn’t even alive when I was dancing to this in the clubs.

And then I realized that Ben wasn’t either.

I feel so old sometimes…

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Free? Are They Insane?

It’s funny…Ben and I were discussing this a few weeks ago, wondering out loud if Apple would sell OS X Mavericks at the same—or even a lower—price than they did with OS X Mountain Lion. We even joked that they’d give it away for free.

Even with my severely constrained cash flow at the moment, I had mentally set aside $20 (the price of Mountain Lion) to get the upgrade because, well…priorities!

Imagine my “surprise and delight” this morning then—while watching Apple’s Keynote—when they announced the OS upgrade would be absolutely free.

Are they insane? Or have they just caused a few more worry lines to appear on the faces of Microsoft executives?

I can already hear the headlines. “APPLE IS DOOMED! THEY KNOW NO ONE WOULD BUY THE UPGRADE SO THEY’RE GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE!”

Uh. Yeah. About that…

I’d write more, but the download is almost finished.

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“Gee, Bud…


…that’s a swell idea, but I’ve already got a fisting party with Fred, Arthur, Bill and Joe booked that night.”

Yes, I am going to hell.

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“They’re All Gonna Laugh at You!”

Ben and I saw the new Carrie yesterday. I went in with low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised. While my memories of the original film are kind of hazy at this point, I think this re-telling of the story seemed much more faithful to the original story—or at least it fleshed out a lot of what had been missing from the 1976 film.

While I thought Sissy Spacek provided a much more vulnerable and abused Carrie, Julianne Moore brought a whole new level of cray-cray to the role of Mrs. White. Dat bitch be insane!

When the film ended, I didn’t feel like I’d been cheated out of seven dollars, but on the other hand, I had no immediate desire to see it again until it shows up on cable…

Final verdict? Recommended. It’s a fun little escape.

The same cannot be said for the pay-per-view movie we saw last night: Pacific Rim. The only redeeming feature of that stinker seemed to be the eye candy provided in a nicely matured Charlie Hannam. Setting aside that the whole premise was ridiculous, it seemed to be yet another in a very long line of  films where the firm providing the CGI just perfected one of those Wow! special effects (in this case, creating millions of bits of shattered glass) and immediately thought it would be a good idea to use everywhere. Again and again.

This was one of those films that I had wanted to see when it originally came out but never got around to. I’m glad now I didn’t waste money to see it in the theater…

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“He Would Have an Enormous Schwanzstücker!”

“For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged.”
“In other vords: his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size?”
“Exactly.”
“He vould have an enormous Schwanzstücker.”
“That goes without saying.”
“Voof.”
“He’s going to be very popular.”

If you don’t know the where that reference came from, go away and never darken these hallowed halls again.

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