Beating Back the St00pid – Page 15

To be filed under "Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy." ?

A shocking revelation is making its way around the wingnut world today, which totally explains the UNPRECEDENTED FBI raid on the beloved former President Donald Trump's home.

No, the explanation is not that Donald Trump is an unprecedented criminal and traitor. Here is the current explanation of why that raid was necessary for the Deep State:

What do you think was in those secret government documents that Trump removed from the White House and kept in his golf club storage room? When you think about it, it is all so obvious, I guess. These boxes and boxes of government secrets contained all of the evidence of Satanic baby killing and eating by Hillary, Obama, Biden et. al.! Yes, that is the truth:

"FBI RAIDED MAR-A-LAGO IN SEARCH OF TORTURE AND CANNIBALISM EVIDENCE"

They wanted to prevent us from seeing it! After Trump had himself hidden it for two years!

This truth is brought to us by one Jessie Czebotar, author of such mammoth journalistic bombshells as "U.S. COURT – U.S. POSTAL SERVICE DELIVERED CHILDREN FOR HUMAN ROASTS" and "U.S. COURT – U.S. PRESIDENTS WEARING CHEF HATS ATE CHILD'S BRAINS WHILE THE CHILD WATCHED," and currently being spread as fast as possible on the right. Jesse Czebotar is famous for having "witnessed" 137,000 murders of children by the Deep State, and who claims to have filed an affadavit of this information in some unnamed U.S. court, in an unknown legal action, or maybe just an anonymous letter. This, apparently, justifies her in claiming over and over again to have the imprimatur of some unknown US court in making her claim. But this arrant stupidity does not stop right wingers who, having failed to come up with any other explanation that excuses what is nothing less than espionage on the part of the former President, seem to be ready to go with this one.

I sort of wonder why, if Trump really has had this information for the nearly two years since he has been President, and who knows how long before that, he hid it away, instead of revealing it to the American people. Seems like it would put an end to the Democrats once and for all, if it were made public, and we know he could have "declassified" it with a wave of his hand. But no, he kept it for himself, and now the Deep State has gotten it back. Curses! Another chance to defeat Satan slipped through our fingers, and the evil documents are back in the hands of the monster Biden.

…and universal healthcare, a living minimum wage, a Manhattan Project-style plan to stop global warming, a 50% tax bracket on billionaires, complete forgiveness of student debt, free community college for everyone who wants it, removal of Clarance Thomas, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett from the Supreme Court and the reversal of their Roe ruling, the codification into US Law access to safe and legal abortions, birth control, and same sex marriage.

And of course, Donald Trump along with every one of his treasonous cronies and everyone who participated in the January 6th attempted overthrow of the US Government thrown in jail for the rest of their miserable lives.

And that's just for starters.