Category: Beating Back the St00pid

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Reposting From Nearly a Decade Ago

Okay Let Me Get This Straight…

According to Christian mythology, God is omniscent. God created Adam and Eve (not Adam and Steve, as we're so often reminded). Eve was tricked by Satan (in the form of a talking snake) into eating of the Tree of Knowledge.

Because of that, we lost our immortality and were cast out of the Garden of Eden to live out our lives in pain and suffering. (And apparently snakes were also stripped of the gift of gab as part of the punishment…just because.)

Let's stop right there for a moment.

The Christians' invisible friend-in the-sky is perfect and all knowing. Yet he created beings who—by being omniscient—he knew from the very beginning would be flawed. In other words, humans were built broken (and therefore created imperfectly) to begin with. So if God is incapable of making mistakes, that means he intentioinally created humans imperfect and subject to sin.

WTF? I mean seriously. WTF?

He created imperfect humans so they'd sin and "force" him to cast them out of the Garden.

What kind of sick fuck would do this?

Good ol' Yaweh, that's who.

This Christian God sounds like a real asshole.

And if Adam and Eve (and later, their two sons) were the only people on Earth, where the fuck did Cain and Able get wives? Were they screwing Eve? So they married their own sisters? Where in the Big Book of Traditional Marriage does that option appear? (Turns out, more often than you'd think.)

But hah, not this time. Instead they went east into the Land of Nod, where there were apparently already a large group of people living quite contentedly without any knowledge whatsoever this wondrous Garden and its psychotic keeper to the west.

W…T…F?  Where the hell did these people come from if there were only supposed to be four living people on the entire face of the planet up until this point?

If you ask any man of the cloth this question (when he's not busy raping pre-pubescent boys) the answer is generally, "Some things are just taken on faith." In other words, shut up and don't ask questions.

My brain hurts.

But let's back up even further.

Perfect, all knowing Christian sky-fairy creates everything—including another product of the fevered Christian imagination—angels.  But one of them rebels and is "cast out." So once again we're shown that God isn't perfect, or that he just intentionally creates imperfect things that he enjoys torturing, like a kid with a magnifying glass encountering an ant hill on a sunny day.

Why does the word "psychopath" keep coming to mind?

Later on in the Big Book of Lies (aka the BuyBull), God says "Whoopsie!" and decides that humanity—after being fruitful and multiplying—didn't turn out exactly like he'd intended again and should be killed…except for one small family who is then tasked with saving a pair of every living creature on earth. Or at least within walking distance of their home.

What's the matter? Isn't this God quite capable of saving all the animal life he wants on his own? Or is Norman Bates already growing impotent? And what about the plants, for chrissake? If the planet needs a reboot to rid it of the sin that Mr. Invisible created in the first place, why not just send it careening into the sun and start again from scratch? Or is that now beyond his power? I mean seriously…a flood?

And one more question: If all current humanity sprang from that one little family, where did all the races come from?

But going back to the Garden of Eden for a moment. Let's play a little game and say that Eve didn't eat of the Tree and humanity was never cast out from the Garden or lose its immortality. Can you imagine what a sty that place would be with fifteen to twenty billion of us trying to squeeze in there now? (Remember, people don't die, but they sure don't stop reproducing either!)

Anyway…

Later on, magic sky fairy realizes that he's fucked up again and Noah's descendants turn out just as bad their predecessors. You'd think that by now the idiot would realize this, right? (Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.) But this time, instead of flooding the place (or sending it careening into the sun) he's going to go down there as himself…as his son…to torture and descend into hell so that whoever believes in this ultimate sacrifice latest bit of crap doesn't have to go to that make believe place themselves.

These fairy tales are fine for iron-age savages who don't have the deductive reasoning—or scientific history to back them up—that modern men do, but c'mon guys…it's the 21st Century. We've landed men on the moon and have just put a probe the size of a car on Mars. If ever there was a time for the "All Powerful" to come down and say "Great job, guys!" it's now. But since he's been conspicuously absent from the goings on of our daily lives going on 2000 years now and from all accounts is a major DICK, I think it's high time for him to put up or shut up.

This is why I'm an Atheist. Because all these magic stories are pure, unadulterated bullshit.

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Preach, Sister!

From Lady Bunny on Instagram:

Former Dem presidential candidate Marianne Williamson on Twitter making the simple point that politicians should do things people like. Democrats campaigned on all she mentioned, yet after one year of controlling the White House, the House and the Senate, they've achieved none of them. It shouldn't be necessary to point out that politicians should do what voters want to do because they (allegedly) represent us, but it is. For too many Democrats, simply bashing Trump and the GOP is considered better politics than doing what you campaigned on. Many of you will excuse Democrats' inaction by claiming that the issue blocking Dems' agenda is Joe Manchin or Kyrsten Sinema. It's not. These conservative Dems have more in common with Biden and Pelosi/Schumer than they do Bernie/AOC. Biden and Pelosi unlinked the infrastructure bill with Build Back Better social spending bill, ensuring it's failure. And Biden was pushed by those saying he could work well with the GOP. Yet he can't even work with Republican lites like Manchin and Sinema in his own party.

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"Now Piss Off"

Sometimes when they approach you, you're up for a little street epistemology, Boghossian-style: how do you know what you believe is true, do you think faith is a reliable way to know the world, do you think people can believe things on faith and never know they're wrong, how do you know you're not wrong, would you be willing to change your beliefs based on evidence, etc.

Sometimes you're not interested and you just want to get your coffee/watch your program/masturbate in peace. Hell, you don't even need an actual reason. At those times, "no, thank you" is sufficient. No explanations, no excuses are required. "No, thank you." This is the end of the matter.

If they persist, the gloves come off. Anything after this is justified. My advice is not to give them anything. They're looking to engage you, to create or find an opening to continue on. Don't give it to them. They're trying to drag you into their pseudo-reality on their terms.

Remind them that you politely declined, and now they are being rude and disrespectful by ignoring your wishes, so they can kindly fuck off.

"Aren't you worried about your eternal soul?" No, I'm not. Fuck off.

"Have you heard the good news?" That you're going to fuck off?

"The [scripture] says…" I don't give a shit what your stupid book says, I give a shit about the fact I said no and you still haven't fucked off.

"What could be more important than getting right with the Lord?" What better things I might have to do are really none of your business, but right now you're keeping me from them so fuck off.

"Can we leave you with some literature?" No. I wouldn't read it and it would go straight into the recycle bin, so you and it should just fuck off together.

Make a point of noting their names, their church (or whatever) and the date and time, and advise them that their faith leaders will be getting a formal complaint. Now fuck off.

[Source]

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"They Did Their Own Research"

The website SORRYANTIVAXXER.COM lists pretty exhaustively all the antivaxxers who have contracted and/or died from the Trump-Virus. At first it seems devastating (and very, very white) seeing entry after entry of people who were easily manipulated into killing themselves to own the Libs, but then comes both boredom: Another asshole bites the dust, and good riddance.

Before you come at me (@ me?) for speaking ill of the dead, I'll remind you that I spoke ill of them when they were above ground.  I'm just going to say it: these people were selfish assholes who endangered all of us. Lining up to argue with a virus and then die from a preventable disease isn't noble, it's stupid. We're better off without them infecting more people.

Do I feel bad for their families? Maybe in the short run, but these antivaxxer assholes endangered their own families, too. Their families are better off with them gone. Maybe they will get vaccinated and live to see another day.

Look, these assholes were babied, begged, and bribed  to get the free, safe, and effective vaccines and they turned it down; so that's not tragedy, it's a farce. And in the end it is natural selection in action. Again, we're better off without them.

You want to tell me that they were standing on their principles, and I'll tell you that they are now buried with their principles.

I feel a great deal of satisfaction when reading about them (as Clarence Darrow once said). I never used to be this cold and callous towards people, but these selfish, ignorant a-holes have worn down both my patience (which I never had a lot of to begin with) and my empathy. I'm bone tired, both of this never-ending pandemic and the people who are making this pandemic never-ending.

[Source, paraphrased and augmented]