Category: Beating Back the St00pid

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Pray Away, Miss Perkins…It Will at Least Keep You Occupied

Well-known hate group leader Tony Perkins hopes Dan Savage will see the light and embrace Christ as his Savior. He even prays for it.

"I would put out this challenge to folks who are listening: to put Dan Savage on the top of your prayer list and pray for him because I believe he has the potential to be a modern day Saul of Tarsus. I mean, just think if the Lord got a hold of his heart and changed him and turned him from persecuting Christians to being an advocate of Christianity and morality, what a huge impact that would have. So don't get angry at Dan Savage; he's doing what people do when they're lost. Pray for him that he would see the light, be blinded by the light, and come to know Christ as his personal savior."

Dan responds:

"Oh, Tony. If quoting their own scriptures to Christians amounts to 'persecuting Christians,' then every Baptist minister in the country is guilty of persecuting Christians. And Saul of Tarsus? That would be Paul, of course, author of huge chunks of the New Testament and the creep responsible for its most misogynistic and homophobic bits. (Jesus didn't say anything about homosexuality, and Jesus never asked his mother or Mary Magdalene to 'keep silent.')

"Paul was a tortured closet case, which is the kind of Christian I would have to be to meet with the approval of someone like Tony Perkins. You know, a Christian in the style of Marcus Bachmann or Ted Haggard or Benedict XVI. And let's not forget what 'I'll pray for you' means someone like Perkins says it:

"Everyone knows, 'I'll pray for you,' is how Baptists say, 'Fuck you.'

"Fuck you too, Tony"

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This Isn't Going Away, North Carolina

There you sit this morning North Carolina, all smug and self-satisfied in your hate, no doubt believing in your little heart-of-hearts that it was God's will that you mouth-breathing, knuckle-dragging assholes enshrined discrimination in your state law. But I've got news for you: you were on the wrong side of history when you outlawed interracial marriage, and you're on the wrong side of history AGAIN.

The more I think about this, the more livid I become. I'm not sure why, because other states have passed similar laws. Maybe it's because your state—whose motto should now be changed from "FIRST IN FLIGHT" to "FIRST IN HATE"—was a necessary tipping point to open eyes and get the masses' blood boiling.

And despite your unwavering belief that you're doing the Lord's work (who NEVER said a word about homosexuality, by the way) I have a feeling, that this is going to come back and bite you in your shriveled, black, hate-filled hearts. More than 50% of Americans polled are now in favor of marriage equality. Major corporations, sensing the tide of public opinion, are increasingly coming on board and providing the same benefits to same-sex partners as they do to the rest of their married employees.

Your vote was a slap in the face to that, and I sincerely hope that every GLBT person and their supporters (including businesses) leave your state and let it free-fall back into the middle ages. Have you not seen what happened in Georgia with their stance against so-called "illegal" (i.e. brown-skinned) migrant workers? Crops are rotting in the fields. North Carolina deserves no less.

I spotted this in the comments section at Joe.My.God. this morning, and I couldn't have said it better.

NORTH CAROLINA  
HATES  
FAGS

We get it…you hate us…you really, really hate us.

Which, of course, is what all these "protect marriage" amendments are about. You're not protecting anything, you're just preventing a small group of people that you hate from entering into your "exclusive" marriage club lest we sully it (GOD FORBID…we should swim in your pool…you'd have to drain it). Now, if y'all really had the courage of your convictions you'd make homosexuality itself in North Carolina a crime, punishable by death just like it says in the Bible (let's run that up the flag pole and see how it flies…I bet it would pass or come damn close). But, of course, you don't have that kind of courage because y'all are nothing but a bunch of bullies and cowards, as your state's racist history would attest.

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Willful Ignorance

This was posted by a friend on Facebook:

TRUE STORY: I ran into an acquaintance at the grocery story today that I hadn't seen in several years. Somehow she got onto the subject of politcs and said, "President Obama just wants to make everything in this country Socialist, example: that Obamacare." I looked at her and asked, "Didn't you move into that Senior Federally funded low-rent housing a few years ago, aren't you on Medicare (she's 74), and you just used your food stamp card to pay for groceries – those are all "Socialist programs." She replied, "That's different!" I asked her how is that different, and she just looked at me, huffed and said, "You're just a liberal!" and walked away. Hmmmmm.

This is the image that immediately came to mind:


"Does not compute…DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!"

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Quote of the Day

"A hoodie makes a black teen look like a criminal just like a suit and glasses make Geraldo Rivera look like a journalist." ~ source unknown

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I Want To Print This…

…roll it up, and beat several well known bloggers over the head with it.

But then, I am a Grammar Nazi.

I can't tell you how many times I've argued with fellow bloggers (one of whom in particular—and no, not my Bubba) who say, "People know what I mean." Yeah, maybe so, but it makes you look uneducated, and therefore anything you've written not worthy of being taken seriously.

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The Truth Hurts

In its entirety from Ministry of Truth at The Great Orange Satan:

"If you LOVE Rush Limbaugh you probably suck to be around. Unhappy, unpleasant, racist, backwards, sexist, homophobic conspiracy theorists who hate hate hate and fear fear fear. At this point they should replace the elephant with Chicken Little.

Dear Conservatives, all of your ideas, when practiced, result in Epic Fail. Drill baby drill, BP Oil Spill. Let the banks get Too Big To Fail and police themselves, massive bank collapse. Teach abstinence only, teen pregnancies go up. Cut taxes for the rich while waging war, create a massive deficit. Trust me, I could go on. Your political philosophy is a joke, a tiresome reel of you as Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes, yet no matter how hard your ideas fail you insist that it is only your leaders who fail the ideas, so you have doubled down on stupid and insisted that by being really, really conservative, this time it's going to work, seriously. Modern day conservatives are trying as hard as they can to bang a square peg through a round hole, but don't even get me started on Marcus Bachmann.

It is not your conservative "family values" nonsense that you love to harp on that really matters, ask anyone who voted for Newt Gingrich this primary season. No, what binds the conservative movement at this point is hate, hate of government and socialism and liberals, Saul Alinsky and Reverend Wright and ACORN and Van Jones and whatever else they've been prattling on about on Fox News or Rush Limbaugh. Conservatives love it and hate everything else, which brings me to my main point, which is at this point, being a conservative isn't a political philosophy, it's a personality disorder.

I've tried, I've really really tried to reach out to conservatives and find areas where we can work together to fix the country, but we want different things. I want to make life better for the vast majority of Americans and fix our broken system and you want to let the Government of the State of Virginia shove things inside a woman's vagina whether she wants you to or not while screaming about an out of control government. I just can't take you anywhere.

So I'm not going to try to pretend that you don't have this problem, Conservatives, because its' your problem, not mine. You have a personality disorder. You treat people like shit, you don't like any of my friends and all of your ideas suck for everyone but the wealthiest 1% and corporations. Frankly, it's over. I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the kids with me.

All you have left is your die-hard wingnuts, the true-believers of the conspiracy theorists, crackpots, kooks, Fox News Viewers. Much like all of the advertisers fleeing the Rush Limbaugh show, your ship is sinking, and as you continue to alienate every growing demographic in an attempt to pander to your rabid, end of the world believing, xenophobic and backwards religiously extremist base please don't let us stop you from desperately clinging to your "stay the course" joke of a platform because that's pretty much all you have left.

So good luck in 2012, Conservatives! Keep on selling your factually incorrect ridiculousness to gullible low information voters and your ultra-right conspiracy theory riddled base. The only difference between a Conservative pundit and Wormtongue is that Sauron never had the lobbyists Bank of America can afford. I only wonder what you will tell yourself when you step on another rake again with your "I'm a real conservative" clown shoes on, I'm sure it will be some liberal conspiracy against poor defenseless you.

But let's not pretend what is obvious to the rest of us, there are only two places in America where a bunch of sexually repressed white guys can be legitimized based off of their net worth alone in a place where women have no voice for their rights, and that's at the Republican National Convention and a gay strip club, but then that takes us back to Marcus Bachmann again, and thus the circle of life is complete."