Category: Because It’s True

Posted on

Photo by omid bonyadian on Unsplash

And even in the moments when the words do come, they almost immediately feel obsolete. It’s become nearly impossible to wake up and comment on any specific human rights atrocity, any precise illegality, any single bastardization of the Christian faith, any individual act of Congressional malpractice. In the time it takes to assess one unprecedented act of governmental malfeasance, stop the spinning storm inside my head, and string together something resembling coherent thoughts, a half dozen infuriating, nauseating, heretofore nonexistent abominations will have already swallowed them up.

This is, of course, by design, yet knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to navigate.

There’s very little that comes with any surety these days. The only thing I am certain of as I watch and listen and walk through this season alongside my 342 million neighbors is that there is mourning in America.

The grief is ever-present, sitting like a boulder on our chests, crushing our hearts and rendering our breathing shallow.
A heavy dread hovers in the background of our nervous systems, leaving us continually ping-ponging between fight, flight, and freeze.
We vacillate wildly from heartbreak to outrage to hopelessness, battered by manufactured crises, curated madness, and genuine emergencies.

And that’s just the damage coming from above, from the repugnant legion of sociopaths and predators who’ve hijacked the very sacred halls that their treasonous foot soldiers desecrated on a January afternoon. In any other iteration of our nation, those helming it would at least have feigned decency, offered some ceremonial lip service of unity, and provided a modicum of care for its constituents. Those days feel like a lifetime ago.

The entirety of a President’s Cabinet and its gutless Congressional coconspirators have abandoned any allegiance to the Constitution, to morality, to the common good. They are professional parasites, voraciously sucking every bit of progress and promise from this flawed but beautiful beacon of Democracy that the world once aspired to emulate.

Bearing this alone would all be difficult enough. It would be a Herculean task to endure such prolific brutality from our alleged leadership and remain tethered to sanity.

But then we look to our left and to our right; to the people around us who are, at best, silent enablers of this violent historic farce, or, at worst, willing collaborators. We inventory the ever-expanding list of human beings we share holiday tables with, make small talk with over the fence, work, study, and worship alongside, and once felt an easy affinity with, mourning the blackened hearts we’ve come to realize they harbor.

And perhaps most devastating of all, there are the people who raised us to be human beings of empathy, who taught us to love our neighbors, who instilled us with a respect for the Rule of Law, who called us to lean upon our better angels. Over the past ten years, we have watched them abandon every ideal and precept they passed down to us, jettisoning God and Country, while continually broadcasting their supposed allegiance to both. We now find ourselves ridiculed, mocked, and demonized for becoming the very loving, open-hearted, generous humans they told us to become.

The wreckage of this relational warfare is everywhere:

In the room-clearing arguments, the protracted emotional cold wars, the social media disconnections, the text chain ghostings, the slow but now undeniable attrition of affection, the silences and empty holiday chairs. These are as heartbreaking injuries as anything this white supremacist vampire colony at the Capitol has thrown at us.

I don’t know quite what to say to those of you reading this who grieve America as we approach its 250th year, because on most days, I’m not even sure what to tell myself. I wish there were words in our lexicon that I could string together that would magically lift the burdens from your shoulders, quiet the chaos in your mind, and swiftly usher peace into the warzones of your heart. All I can do today with any honesty is to name the grief and hope that will bring some comfort. Naming it helps me.

In fact, perhaps, that shared sorrow is the connective tissue that will hold us all together as we endure this impossible to fathom or describe nightmare. Maybe, our collective tears over the America that is will water the seeds of the America we can still be.

This morning, despite the losses that seem endless, I cling to the hope that we, the multitudes who lament how far we’ve fallen as a nation, will find a way to pull us from the seemingly endless darkness we’re immersed in and into the dawn of better days.

To every American mourning, know you do not grieve alone.

0 Comments

Posted on

One Group, Clearly, Is Deranged

Paul Krugman:

YouGov’s surveys subdivide Republicans into those who do and those who don’t support MAGA — and the economic views of these two groups are very different. A remarkable 65 percent of non-MAGA Republicans say that the economy is getting worse, while only 11 percent say that it is getting better. […]

Aside from MAGA Republicans, Americans are bunched at the upper left, with few people seeing the economy getting better and the vast majority seeing it as getting worse. Non-MAGA Republicans are much more similar in their views to independents, and even to Democrats, than they are to MAGA.

So how big is the group that believes that we have a good economy? Only 19 percent of Americans.

The MAGA/non-MAGA split amongst self-identifying Republicans is striking. Non-MAGA Republicans have views on the economy that almost exactly mirror those of independents — neither of which are that far from those of Democrats.

And let’s face it, “MAGA” is a euphemism for the Donald Trump cult of personality. These are the people who think it’s fine, just fine for him to be putting his name on buildings, his signature (and perhaps face) on currency, putting his face on “special” edition US passports, erecting gold statues of himself, holding a UFC fight on the White House lawn to celebrate his birthday — not to mention the not-even-trying-to-hide-it-or-excuse-it abject corruption.

It’s rather depressing that 20 percent of the US population is in this cult. But I choose to be edified by the fact that it’s only 20 percent. That’s not that much higher than the 13 percent who believe “Bigfoot / Sasquatch is a real, living creature”. This whole thing is a political boil that is starting to burst. Rats leave sinking ships.

(To read the entire article, click here)

0 Comments

Posted on

Dumb With A Capital B

From Palmer Report:

When Donald Trump announced earlier this week that his son Donald Trump Jr was getting married, he initially appeared to say that his son was “someone I’ve known a very long time.” Upon closer inspection, a mumbly and barely coherent Donald Trump actually said that his son has “got someone I’ve known a very long time.” Not much better. Trump clearly has no idea what the woman’s name is, in spite of how long he’s known her.

Somewhere in there Trump revealed that he wasn’t going to attend his son’s wedding, blaming his presidential duties. Then his babysitters reportedly booked a trip for him to his own resort in New Jersey for the weekend. So he’s got time for that, but not time to go to his son’s wedding. Or maybe he’s just not well enough to travel to the Bahamas. Given that his trip to his resort has since been canceled, who knows? Something isn’t right with him.

But the larger underlying story here may be that Donald Trump simply can’t remember anything. And not in a forgetful, aging brain, “I can’t think of the word I was about to say” senior moment kind of way. No, this is something different entirely. It’s not that Trump momentarily couldn’t remember his son’s bride’s name. It’s that he has no recollection of having ever known it. How do we know this?

When Trump tried to give a speech yesterday, he came to the word “dumb” and then stopped to announce that a lot of people don’t know that the word “dumb” has a “b” on the end of it. No really, he said this. And it wasn’t a one-off, either. Recently Trump came across the word “sea” and then stopped to announce that a lot of people don’t know the word is spelled “sea” when referring to a body of water. Before that he announced that he’d never heard the word “groceries” in his life. Before that it was “corner store” that he’d never heard of.

No one would ever describe Trump as being particularly literate. But he’s certainly seen the word “dumb” enough times in his life to know full well that it has a “b” on the end of it. He also knows full well that “see” and “sea” are pronounced the same. And he’s spent a lifetime hearing words like “groceries” and “corner store” even if he’s never done his own shopping in his life. He knows these words. Or at least he did. But not anymore.

It’s pretty clear what’s happening here. Trump’s brain is dying one area at a time from dementia, and in the process he’s losing an entire lifetime’s worth of memories and experiences. His dying brain clearly no longer has any recollection of any of the thousands of instances in which he’s seen the above words. That’s all gone. And so when Trump is seeing these basic common words now, what’s left of his brain thinks it’s seeing them for the first time. Hence why he’s so surprised to learn how some of them are spelled.

. . .

Trump is trying to deflect his own frustration and insecurity by projecting all of this onto unnamed other people out there who have no prior recollection of having ever seen the words “dumb” or “sea” in their lives. And yet this fully senile individual, who has now lost most of his lifetime’s worth of recollection, is somehow President of the United States.

1 Comments

Posted on

End Of The Week Tiedrich

holy shit, the unthinkable is happening: Republicans are beginning to openly revolt against Mad King Donny’s corrupt agenda.

over the past couple, Senate Repubs have served up multiple slices of Fuck You Pie to Dear Leader. they’re refusing to fund the Epstein Dance Hall — and they absolutely want no part of this business of enriching the shitheads who did January 6.

Glitch McConnell unfroze long enough to actually say “so the nation’s top law enforcement official is asking for a slush fund to pay people who assault cops? utterly stupid, morally wrong — take your pick.”

whoa.

so with all that going on, it’s good to see that the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press were focused on the real top story of the day: would Preznit Fuckwit be attending the wedding of number one failson Cokey McSniffles?

reporter: “are you attending your son’s wedding this weekend?”

Donny: “uhhhh. he’d like me to go. I’m gonna try and make it. I’m in the midst— I said, ‘you know, this is not good timing for me.’ I have a thing called Iran and other things. he’s a person I’ve known for a very long time. hopefully they’re going to have a great marriage.’”

wait, what? did Donny actually refer to his eldest son as ‘a person I’ve known for a very long time’? I mean, technically, that’s an accurate statement — but what in the hallowed name of Cognitive Collapse Jesus is going on inside this imbecile’s big dumb pumpkin head?

you know what? I’m going to include Don Jr. in my What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™.

if Junior stands up in public and asks his father ‘what the fuck is wrong with you,’ I say he gets that lifetime Pulitzer. after all, you just know he’s said it in private countless times.

how does Donny have ‘other things’ more important than a child’s wedding? any normal human parent would jump at the chance to attend that shit, but not Donny — not when there’s an entire holiday weekend full of cheating at golf in front of him.

the Trump family — going all the way back to bordello operator Frederick Drumpf — has essentially been a multi-generational experiment in ‘what would happen if a parent actively hated his children?’

well, obviously, not all his children.

but you get my point.

before we move on, can I take a moment to introduce you to America’s latest sweetheart? I’m talking about the outie belly button of the dude standing behind Donny.

look at that thing. that is fucking adorable — and check out what goes on at the 27 second mark of that clip.

go, man, go! how long before that navel is a featured speaker at CPAC? I want that thing to have its own show on Newsmax. I’d watch the shit out of it.

anyway, onto the Republican revolt. they’re fucking pissed right now at Dear Leader. the midterms are coming, and a historically-unpopular Donny is seriously dicking with their chances of hanging onto their razor-thin majorities.

voters don’t want this don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran that’s made gas unaffordable. nor do voters want some ginormous vulgar Epstein Dance Hall, with its sniper nests and what Donny calls a ‘drone empire’ on its roof. and this business of enriching the January 6th insurrectionists with taxpayer money is just too blatantly in-your-facedisgusting for words. as I said the other day, ‘there’s corruption, and then there’s holy fucking shit corruption.’

the first thing Republican Senators did yesterday was call Donny’s personal rent-a-lawyer Todd Blanche into their chambers, where they used him as a chew toy for almost two solid hours.

News — Nearly 2-hour meeting with Acting AG Todd Blanche and Senate Republicans was incredibly hostile, per multiple attendees. As many as 25 GOP senators spoke (this is very rare for these meetings), all in opposition to weaponization fund. R’s pitched specific ideas such as dictating how the 5 commissioners are chosen & not allowing people convicted of violence against cops to be eligible for a payout.

the thing about Todd Blanche is that everyone fucking hates him, because he’s a sleazy little shitweasel. ask Todd what two plus two is, and he’ll dance around and prevaricate for half an hour without ever answering the question.

here’s the indispensable Heather Cox Richardson to explain what happened next.

In the end, Republicans were so angry about the slush fund and immunity agreement that Senate leadership decided not to try to pass $72 billion of funding for immigration agencies, left out of an earlier funding package, out of fear Democrats would force Republicans to vote on the slush fund.

Even before they decided to avoid the vote, Republicans had dropped from the measure the $1 billion Trump wants for security for his ballroom.

so, no money for masked ICE thugs, no money for the heavily-militarized Epstein Dance Hall — oh, and a few days ago four Republicans broke ranks and voted with the Dems to finally send that Iran war powers resolution to the House. (where Holy Mike had yank it at the last minute from a scheduled vote because it was certain to pass there, too.)

you love to see the GOP and Donny at war with each other — bring it the fuck on! — but let’s not get too happy. after all, these are Republicans we’re talking about. at the end of the day, they still fucking suck. they love to talk big, but they could still TACO out and end up doing a Reverse Lucy: swear they’re going to yank the football away, and then end up holding it down for Dear Leader to kick a mile.

it wouldn’t be the first time.

oh, and fuck Senator Glitchy McTurtlehump and all his ‘I do declare it’s morally wrong’ outrage. dude could have put an end to this shit five years ago, by whipping up enough votes to convict Donny when he got impeached for doing January 6 in the first place. but Glitch wimped out, and here we are, trapped in the timeline he created. get back in your terrarium, Turtle Man.

and, of course, we still have the entire Moron Wing of the Republican Party to deal with.

here’s one dumbfuck who’s totally down with the idea of doling out millions to traitors, because he thinks the whole January 6 thing was staged.

South Carolina Rep. Ralph: “look, January 6th is an issue that was made up in the first place.”

reporter: “made up, sir?”

Norman: “that was a staged thing from day one … there was a riot there but it was a self-made riot by members who hate Trump.”

fact check: fuck off, Ralph.

Rep Norman has forced himself to chug an entire tanker truck full of Kool-Aid. his current premise is that Capitol Cops allowed people who hate Trump to fake a riot — but he sung a very different tune back on the day that it happened.

‘the riots were fake’ is a conspiracy theory that doesn’t make one lick of sense — because riddle me this: if the rioters were all Democrats who ‘hate Trump,’ then why the fuck does Ralph Norman want to give each of them millions of dollars?

the cognitive dissonance, it burns.

before we get out of here, let’s circle back to Dear Leader. apparently there’s one more thing he simply must get off his chest.

“my most exciting is the Reflecting Pool between the Washington Monument and the— uhhhhhhhhhhh, the— the— Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, it’s uh— [gestures with his hands] two hundred— two thousand, five hundred feet long by almost two hundred feet wide. it’s a massive— structure, if you think of it. it’s taller than the tallest building in the world.”

that’s right, folks. the refurbished Epstein Reflecting Poll — which I guess I need to point out is flat and at ground level — is taller than the tallest building in the word. he’s so fucking dumb.

he’s also wrong.

The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool is about 2,029 feet long, not “2,500 feet long.” Also the tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa, is about 2,717 feet tall.

this weak and insecure halfwit is such a bottomless pit of need that he has to exaggerate the size of a pool he didn’t even build.

but what else is new?

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

0 Comments

Posted on

Oh Look, It CAN Be Done

Oh look, it can be done!

I wonder how many jobs this created?

I wonder how much money this will save South Korea?

Meanwhile the US is gonna dig some more coal.

Xi Jinping was right. The United States is a country in decline.

0 Comments

Posted on

Is He Making This [Shit] Up As He Goes Along? “Obviously.”

From Greg Fallis;

As you almost certainly know, Comrade Trump was recently asked how much thought he was giving to the financial situation of Americans in his negotiations with Iran. His answer:

“Not even a little bit. The only thing that matters when I’m talking about Iran—they can’t have a nuclear weapon. I don’t think about Americans’ financial situation. I don’t think about anybody. I think about one thing—we cannot let Iran have a nuclear weapon. That’s all.”

For the moment, let’s just ignore the fact that Iran has NO nuclear weapons and currently lacks the capacity to create them. Let’s just focus on that statement and the reaction to it. Obviously, a LOT of US citizens were offended and angered by it. But what about Trump’s base? Specifically, let’s see what the Trump-loving ‘patriots’ at FreeRepublic had to say about it.

You may be surprised (well, I was surprised) to find Freepers were almost evenly divided about Trump’s comments (and his ‘excursion’ in Iran in general). I expected the majority to be maximally Trump-brained, and some most certainly were.

You can always count on CBS to slice out a piece of a Trump statement to make it sound as bad as possible. Keeping the nukes out is well worth the price but the Trump haters have no vision beyond that hatred.
by gibsonguy

Nothing would destroy the USA financial well-being like an Iranian nuke going off in a major city.
by ProtectOurFreedom

America first means doing what it takes to remove the Iran nuclear threat. How is this so hard to understand? I would gladly pay $7 at the pump if that’s what it takes.
by Kleon

Why aren’t Liberals mad at Iran for the high gas prices and general disorder in the mid east?
by Az Joe

As the leader of the free world you need to lead by example and through the strength that you possess to do the right thing and stand up for other democracies… Israel is the only Democratic country in the Middle East. By standing with them you instill discipline within the world community, and establish your credentials as the leader of the free world. Imagine if you will, letting Israel flounder and allowing it to be nuked by Iran… That would be a terrible example and other countries would start losing respect for America. The United States must lead… Sitting on your arse is not an option.
by jerod

Terrorist muslims bent on death to America with a nuclear weapon is the GREATEST threat to our national security that I can think of.
Trump is not doing this because he wants to but because he cares more about America than those who preceded him office and likely cares more than those who will likely succeed him.
by Biblebelter

That’s pretty much what I was expecting to find. But hold on to your keffiyehs, friends, because a surprising number of Freepers are angry and disgusted with Trump and his war against Iran. Who’d a thunk it?

I watched that video and proves Trump is out of touch with the average American but he is more worried about his Stock Market pals… He will pay a steep price for being out of touch. Wonder what happened to America First!
by dpetty121263

Americans who don’t watch CBS, who voted for Trump, are also economically hurting right now.
by CondoleezzaProtege

If Trump is dead set with Iran not having nuclear weapons then he needs to put troops on the ground instead of doing it all by air right now. He also would not be negotiating.
He is making things worse by negotiating. This is his screw up. The economy is going to crap. Republicans will lose big. Either pull out or go all the way in.
Obiviously he is making it up as he is going along and this adventure was poorly planned.
by moviefan8

Tucker says Iran is no where close to having a nuke. Tucker has intelligence that is so much better than Trump’s. Trump just wanted to go to war because, well because, er well…cause Epstein.
by Sir Bangaz Cracka

What most likely happened was Trump believed he was going to replay his grand Venezuelan victory out in Tehran. It blew up in his face, and now we all have to pretend that we were going to get incinerated at any moment if Trump had not blundered into this stupid war
by hcmama

There you are. Trump, being Trump, naturally had to double down on his comment. When asked about it after his return from China, he said, “It’s a perfect statement. I’ll make it again. Everybody agrees.”

President Xi Jinping and…you know, that guy.
He’s right, sort of. Almost everybody does agree–that Trump doesn’t know what the hell is going on, isn’t capable of understanding what’s going on even if he knew, and doesn’t have a plan to deal with what’s going on. Obiviously (which is probably how Trump pronounces it).

ENDNOTE: Just to be clear, at present Iran has neither the material nor the capacity to make any nuclear weapons. The CIA has confirmed it would take at least one year to create a nuclear weapon IF they had the technologies necessary to produce enough fissile material and to design and implement a delivery system with a proper detonation system. And they don’t have that. Obiviously.

0 Comments

Posted on

How. Much. Longer?!

Just push the damn button already, and put us out of this never-ending misery!

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: Biggus Dickus has a wife, you know

where the fuck does Donny find these people?

CNN’s KFILE reveals the man leading the hantavirus response in the U.S. is a specialist in penile implants with little public health experience and hosted a podcast called “Erection Connection.”

wait, what? I understand what all of those words mean, but when you put them together in that order, I’m mystified.

so you’re telling me that the guy Dear Leader picked to deal with a potential hantavirus crisis is a crackpot who doesn’t believe in vaccinesand has no fucking clue how to handle a public health emergency — but if you need a homey to biggify your pantsmonster, he’s your man?

Uncle Tim Walz was right, these people are all weirdos — and not just weirdos, but dick-obsessed weirdos.

need proof? let’s start with Donny’s former Acting Attorney General and current US Representative to NATO. dude sold toilets specially engineered for super-endowed bros who were tired of having their massive wieners go plunking in the water when they sat down to do their business.

then there’s Dear Leader himself, who can’t stop waxing rhapsodic about the enormity of Arnold Palmer’s 9-iron.

Lady Space Laser was absolutely smitten with Hunter Biden’s freakishly ginormous trouser trout.

don’t even get me started on six-time international lap-hockey champion Handy Oakley.

and if you want to get penis-adjacent, there’s always roasted ball-sack aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, who believes that microwaving the family jewels is the True Way Forward.

these freaks and oddballs need to all get a grip. no, wait — what am I saying?

MAGA, when it comes to your weens, don’t get a grip. keep your fucking hands where I can see them.

tuesday: just a perfectly normal dude, doing perfectly normal stuff

the morbidly wealthy, they’re so relatable, am I right?

the Space Nazi was part of the gaggle of gazillionaires who accompanied Donny to China this week, and — well, who among us hasn’t been at a state dinner at the exact moment the ketamine kicks in?

what the fuck was that? we need to gif that shit, pronto.

now, I’ve never experienced the wonders of ketamine, so can someone please tell me — does it affect your gait?


why does the Space Nazi jerk his right arm like that? what the fuck is he staring at up on the ceiling?

again, another prime giffable moment.

if I had a trillion dollars, I’d def hire someone to give me walking lessons.

I’ll say this about the Chinese — at least they had the good sense to keep the silverware out of harm’s way.

wednesday: shut the fuck up

stand back, everyone. Fox News found object Jesse Watters has been doing his own research.

“I did some research on ‘the blacks.’ blacks, for 150 years, have only represented 10% to 15% of the American population. okay? that’s not that much. so if they wanna have more seats, they gotta get in between the sheets.”

how awesome. in one short soundbite, Jesse manages to be racist, paternalistic, condescending and crude. he’s won the Fucknut Quadfecta.

Republicans have spent the last two weeks working overtime to disenfranchise black voters by gerrymandering their districts out of existence — and this is the smirking buffoon’s sage advice? to get busy fuckin’?

they say that a gif is worth a thousand words, so here you go, Jesse, this one’s for you.

thursday: verily, she doth spew bullshit unto you

oh look, it’s transdimensional-traveler-obsessed goofus and noted biblical scholar An Appalling Lunatic, here to give us an extremely fucked-up lesson in religion.

Anna Paulina Luna: “and so it’s interesting because you have, you know, the evolution of the King James Bible, as we all know that story. he wanted to get remarried, they re-wrote it. it’s what happened.”

Representative Lunatic is so fucking dumb, and all simpering meathead Joe Rogan can do is sit there with a stupid grin on his face and go ‘right,’ because he’s as big an ignoramus as Appalling Ann.

King James didn’t want to get remarried. that’s not what the King James Version of the Bible is all about. the British king who wanted to get remarried was Henry VIII, the jamoke famous for prancing about with a haunch of meat in each fist.

and Eighth Hank didn’t rewrite any Bible. what he did was he form the Church of England and put himself in charge of it, so he could get busy offing an endless series of spouses. remember, the merry fucking wives of Windsor?

(don’t even ask me what this is all about. I googled ‘merry wives of windsor gif’ and google gave me Batman. hey, everyone — I’m as good as doing my own research as Jesse Watters!)

but I digress. here’s my point:

it must be nice to be a wingnut and go on podcasts like Meathead Rogan’s and just be eternally wrong from dawn until dusk — because none of these shitwits knows dick about anything, and no one ever corrects you.

it’s a fucking oroboros of stupid.

oh look, you actually get something useful if you google ‘oroboros gif.’

friday: the further adventures of Some Fucking Idiot™

on Friday, some fucking idiot made exactly two public appearances. the first was when he deigned to talk to reporters aboard Fuckface Force One as it flew home from Beijing.

math, how does it even work?

what is the fucking idiot even saying? it’s just meaningless gibberish.

oh, and speaking of gibberish—

the fucking idiot is so monumentally stupid. someone told him that Dem candidate James Talerico identifies as ‘cisgender’ and the fucking idiot heard it as ‘six genders,’ and now he repeats it all day long.

and no press appearance would be complete without the fucking idiot accusing a reporter of treason.

the fucking idiot’s second appearance was in a pre-taped interview with Bret Baier, where he threw yet another of our close allies under the bus.

how wonderful. the fucking idiot has one meeting in China, where he’s too dumb to realize he’s being disrespected by Xi — and now, all of a sudden, Taiwan needs to ‘cool it a little bit.’

he’s such an easily-played moron.

then, to top it all off, the fucking idiot doubled down on his dumb-ass statement that he ‘doesn’t think about Americans’ financial situation.’

yeah, keep on reminding voters that you couldn’t give less of a shit about them. let’s see how that works out for you in the midterms.

and, despite all the dumbfuckery going on right in front of their faces, neither Bret Baier nor any of the reporters aboard Fuckface Force One stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

1 Comments

Posted on

Why Do They All Look Like Blow-up Dolls?

So. Many. Daddy. Issues.

he striking thing about the Donnyverse is how everyone in it totally fucking sucks.

at the top, you’ve got evil shit-kazoos like the piss-drunk Christofascist warmonger, the whale-head-chainsawing maniac who swims in raw sewage, and of course, the One Stinky Diaperload to Rule Them All.

but wait, there’s more: orbiting these fascist fucknuts are hundreds of fanatical cultists who will do anything to please Dear Leader.

here’s one of them. folks, I want you to meet Natalie Harp.

you know those infantile, fucked-up memes that will show up by the dozenson Donny’s crappy app in the middle of the night? that’s the creepy hand of Natalie Harp at work.

Most nights, the president fires off dozens of posts attacking his political enemies, amplifying conspiracy theories, spreading AI-slop videos and images, and boosting offensive content from obscure MAGA accounts on X and his own Truth Social platform.

But despite the odd hours, Trump isn’t doing it all alone, according to a new report in the Wall Street Journal.

His executive assistant Natalie Harp is the driving force behind some of his most incendiary content, including a racist video that depicted Barack and Michelle Obama as apes, and an AI-generated image of Trump as Jesus Christ, both of which Trump later took down.

that’s right, all those racist and misogynistic memes, all the Q-Anon batshit, all the Donny-as-Jesus AI slop — it’s Natalie who finds that twaddle and shows it to the big guy, because that’s her job: to keep Dear Leader stupid and happy.

Harp’s official title is Executive Assistant, but her unofficial title is The Human Printer, because she walks around — I shit you not — with a wireless printer, which she’ll use at a moment’s notice to show Donny all the dumb-ass shit she’s found on the internet.

any time Dear Leader is sundowning, or rage-spiraling, or just drooling uncontrollably while staring off into to space, it’s Natalie who hands him a printout of Barack the Ape, at which point Donny goes ‘hrr hrr hrr’ and his mood brightens. he finds that shit hilarious, and it calms him down.

once again, it’s just so eternally embarrassing. can you think of any other country on the planet whose leader is such a colicky toddler that they need to be rage-managed with internet-sourced dumbfuckery?

no, of course you can’t. only in America. we’re number one — when it comes to certifiably insane heads of state.

where does Donny find these people? well in, Natalie’s case, she’s been by Dear Leader’s side for years — ever since 2019, when he saw her on Fox News (because of course he did), where she was making a speech in which she claimed Donny cured her cancer.

it’s at this point that I should probably mention that Natalie Harp is every bit as bugfuck nuts as Donny is.

I did warn you that everyone in the Donnyverse totally fucking sucks.

Harp flew under our radar for years, but back in April 2024, when Donny was on trial for being a fraudulent fuck-knuckle, reporters noticed a woman — toting that famous portable printer — who was following him around.

that, my friends, was our first introduction to Natalie Harp.

Her name is Natalie Harp, a former One America News anchor who joined Trump’s communications team in March 2022. According to reporting that year by the Washington Post, Harp would even accompany the former reality TV host on golf trips in a cart “equipped with a laptop and sometimes a printer to show him uplifting news articles, online posts, or other materials.”

oh my god, she even follows Donny around the golf course — in her own specially-outfitted happy-printout cart.

so, that’s a perfectly normal thing, right? seriously, how fucking broken-inside do you have to be to require that kind of nonstop positive affirmation? this big, strong woman, tears in her eyes, actually travels with Donny while he’s cheating at golf, and goes ‘sir! sir! look at the nice thing catturd said about you on twitter! sir!’

Donny’s handlers are royally pissed off at Harp right now, because she’s fucking up their shit. her job may be to mollify Dear Leader, but theirjob is to hide his crazypants dementia from the world — and that’s a thing that gets harder and harder to do when she’s out here helping Donny to post fifty or more batshit memes in the middle of the night. oh, did I mention that Donny’s given her access to his Truth Social login? perfectly normal stuff.

the only thing all that late-night crazypants posting accomplishes is to remind the entire world that Donny is an out-of-control lunatic with no filters — but Natalie’s brain is too MAGA-pickled to realize she’s doing him no favors.

it also doesn’t help that Harp is apparently just as racist as Donny — nor does it help when half the shit she shows him can be traced by to Nazi accounts on twitter.

Donny’s inner circle has been begging Natalie to at least run this stuff by them before she and Donny put it all online, but she’s all ‘nuh-uh, I can do whatever I want, because Donny says I’m special.’

The frustration lies partly in the perceived chain of command: Harp does not share her drafts with anyone else in the White House but the president, claiming that she works for him and only him, reported the Journal.

Donny’s minders want this woman outta here, but don’t expect Dear Leader to shitcan her any time soon, because — trigger warning: be prepared to be nauseated.

Mr. Trump has dismissed concerns about Ms. Harp, whom he calls “sweetie” and treats like a daughter, according to people close to him.

first of all, ew.

and second of all, ewwwwwww.

does ‘treats like a daughter’ mean that Donny wants to quote-unquote ‘date’her — if that’s what we’re charitably calling it — and is constantly trying to grope her?

now get ready to crank the ‘ewww’ dial so far past 11 that it snaps off in your hand — because honestly, Natalie sounds like a creepy fucking stalker.

In 2023, Ms. Harp sent a series of letters to Mr. Trump that unnerved people around him, according to a half-dozen people with knowledge of them.

“You are all that matters to me,” she wrote in one of the letters, which were seen by The New York Times. The letters’ authenticity was confirmed by two people with direct knowledge of them.

“I don’t ever want to let you down,” Ms. Harp wrote, thanking Mr. Trump for being her “Guardian and Protector in this Life.”

In another letter, she told Mr. Trump that she wanted to get back to “that synergy” she used to have with him, where “we’d talk about everything and nothing.”

“I want to bring you joy,” she wrote, “to feel like we can get through a day without ever having to talk ‘work.’”

what. in the. actual. fuck. no wonder Donny’s handlers want her gone. how many red flags did you find in that excerpt? if someone wrote letters like that to you, you’d be taking out a restraining order, not giving them a job.

Natalie Harp is just as fucking nuts as Donny, and she’s making him look every bit as deranged as he actually is. none of this helps Donny one bit.so why does he keep allowing this to happen? because she reminds him of Ivanka.

ew.

as I sit here writing this, Donny is aboard Fuckface Force One, jetting back home to America after a two-day visit to Beijing that accomplished exactly jack shit — but at least Donny did get to embarrass himself in front of the world, so there’s that.

“just as many Chinese now love— basketball and blue jeans. Chinese restaurants in America today outnumber the five largest fast food chains— in the United States, all combined. that’s a pretty big state.”

who wrote this drek, Natalie Harp?

Donny really is the Ugliest American. he knows nothing about the world. he knows nothing about foreign cultures — and he doesn’t want to know.

Donny’s bragging because we eat a lot of beef chow mein here in the US. so fucking what?

Donny’s impressed because the Chinese like baseball and jeans? what is this, 1983? China is eating our lunch, and leading the world in things like electric cars and renewable energy. China is so far ahead of us in the health and technology sectors that it isn’t funny — but do prattle on about food, Donny. way to focus on what’s important, you ginormous doughy pantload.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

0 Comments

Posted on

Relatable. So Relatable.

Photo by Tarikul Raana on Unsplash

Like many truthful things, the reply arrived housed in humor but left a terrible lingering aftertaste of regret.

I was joking, but I also wasn’t lying.

I wonder if that resonates with you: the grief of remembering the person you used to be before this sickening season began; of wondering what in the hell happened to that previous iteration of yourself?

When I think about the millions of people I’ve crossed paths with over the last decade doing this work, there is such a through line of loss. Whether it was saying goodbye to the idea of God or country or family, to a belief in the goodness of people, to their sense of optimism about the future, to relationships with people they once felt fully at home around, they have been attending a long-running funeral that never fully ends.

But of the legion of lamentations they’ve shared with me, the greater mourning I have sensed in people is the loss of their former selves.

There is a cost to enduring the unceasing storm of Constitutional crises, acts of treason, atrocities against vulnerable people, and cultic indoctrination of tens of millions of people we share a nation with.

In our earnest and valiant efforts to confront this incessant ugliness, we have been transformed, and often not for the better. Oh, sure, these days have helped us clarify our convictions, distill what truly matters to us, and enabled us to tap into the strength and perseverance we’d likely never have discovered otherwise—but they’ve also rightly beaten the hell of out us in the process.

When I consider the person I was a decade ago and compare him to the person in the mirror (well, aside from looking forty years older), I can’t help but notice the latter doesn’t laugh as easily as the former, he is far less naive about his friends and family members, he finds it far more difficult to give people the benefit of the doubt, he doesn’t see the horizon of history as wide open as he used to.

I begin to grieve that version of myself and feel a bit guilty for losing the earlier one along the way, but I also know exactly how it happened:

He had to watch his former church friends collectively sell their souls to a vile, profane, serial predator, as if he were the Second Coming.

He sat at dozens of holiday tables listening to uncles and in-laws deliver well-rehearsed racist rants as easily as breathing.

He scrolled through hundreds of hours of the most asinine and baseless conspiracy theories about face masks, vaccines, rigged elections, and Democrat child trafficking networks.

He overheard his white neighbors of stratospheric privilege, rambling about the dangerous immigrants supposedly overrunning our town.

He began countless days reading about incomprehensible Supreme Court rulings, the passing of mindbogglingly hateful legislation, and the political victories of sociopaths and criminals.

All that shit leaves a mark.

And as I inventory ten years of exposure to senseless cruelty and prolific discrimination, it suddenly makes perfect sense what happened to that previous incarnation of me: he gradually faded away in the face of too much hatred winning too many times.

So, today, I am missing and mourning that younger, more hopeful version of myself, and I’m also worried that even this tired-but-not-ready-to-give-up iteration of me will also burn up in the inhospitable atmosphere of this national sickness, yielding someone whose heart is harder and whose sense of belonging in this place is even more tenuous than it is today.

But future me is none of my business, because today is waiting on me.

Right now, all I can do, all any of us can do, is to wake up within the day before us and appeal to the better still angels within our reach, to wield the damaged but still functioning humanity in our possession, to access all the goodness, courage, and faith we can still muster.

If there’s any blessing in lamenting the version of ourselves and of the nation we’ve lost over the last ten years, it’s in realizing we can’t afford to squander a day, waste a moment, or allow a single act of inhumanity to go unchallenged.

I miss the person I used to be before this nightmare began, but I’ll be damned if I let these heartbreaking days and the people authoring them take any more.

Posted on

A few days ago, I opened my Threads feed and was greeted by the post of a young woman, featuring a couple of resolute carseat selfies, along with the caption:

 

I AM….. PRO ICE PRO Military Pro Law Enforcement Pro Trump Pro Charlie Kirk Pro Voter ID Pro Accountability [sic]

Immediately below that post was another, absolutely identical to the first, except for a different account handle.

I continued to refresh my feed, greeted again and again by the same image, the same quote, yet from different accounts. (I’m currently at 26 and counting, by the way.)

Scrolling through my timeline, this morning alone, I encountered, not only five more greetings from my now ubiquitous brunette, shapeshifting female MAGA warrior, but at least four other different versions featuring other white women, supposedly also declaring their love for their Predator-In-Chief, his barbaric ICE foot soldiers, and MAGA’s anti-immigrant, anti-Black, Anti-Democracy agenda.

A cursory glance at my newsfeed, and no one would blame you for thinking a massive number of young white women are inexplicably assembling around a court-adjudicated rapist and likely serial predator, whose misogynist regime is trying to take away women’s body autonomy and voting rights.

And it’s all a mirage, just like everything about this President, his Administration, and their barbaric, yet rapidly shrinking white supremacist movement, but it’s an exhausting mirage.

Being gaslit will wear you the hell out, which of course, is the plan.

I think we all need to collect ourselves and understand what’s really happening here.

We need to inventory the emotional and mental toll of being inundated throughout our waking moments with an endless stream of gaslighting nonsense, Right-Wing propaganda, bot proliferation, and Conservative algorithm manipulation.

It’s critical that we don’t allow ourselves to be defeated by an alarming, terrifying, and infuriating fiction. We are not outnumbered.

Donald Trump’s current approval rating is hovering between 28 and 36 percent, depending on the source, and his support is never going to rise from here. This is his absolute ceiling.

His covering up of the Epstein Files, the lawlessness of ICE’s domestic terrorism, his starting of an unnecessary, sickeningly expensive war with Iran, stratospheric gas prices, and a cratering economy that has been in a tailspin ever since his disastrous tariffs began—these are mortal wounds to Trump and his party, and they know it.

Republicans have known since 2024 that the window was going to be incredibly short; that their policies have been wildly unpopular, their base has been dwindling, and that their quickly-collapsing, cognitively-addled, lame duck wanna be dictator has been steadily losing his capacity to bulldoze criticism and manipulate reality.

Trump’s broken campaign promises regarding transparency around Epstein, his vow to end wars, his asinine boasts to bring gas and food prices down, his wasteful ballrooms and national mall desecrations are not playing well with the former faithful who can barely keep the lights on or put food on the table.

The MAGA arrow is pointing down and nothing can prevent that.

Friends, what this all means is that we are the majority and it ain’t even close.

Well over two-thirds of this nation despise this Christo-fascist regime, their assaults on black and brown people, their endless persecution of the LGBTQ community, their attacks on the free speech and the Arts and diversity.

A massive portion of America is disgusted with their coddling of the wealthiest one percent, their pillaging of the Public School System, their poisoning of Health and Human Services, their polluting of the CDC, and their absolute refusal to address affordable healthcare or housing.

We have the numbers. All we need to do is start acting like the majority.

If we can all transcend our wars of preference, our purity politics, and our relatively superficial differences, we can defeat this minority movement. If we wield our collective power and unify our voice in November, it won’t matter how much they gerrymander, how difficult they make it to vote, or the violence they resort to in order to try and intimidate us.

The United States isn’t in hopeless peril; we’ve all just been fooled into believing the myth of our impending doom curated and amplified by those who have nothing else but lies, spin, fake followers, and paid rally crowds.

Donald Trump’s entire life, his supposed success as a businessman, and his disastrous presidencies have been fool’s gold; the smoke and mirror illusions of disinformation and media malpractice.

Beneath the partisan propaganda and the prolific gaslighting, MAGA is in its last days. It is a crumbling, self-devouring, rapidly evaporating niche movement of a small percentage of this nation who are being swallowed up by time and progress.

Don’t be disheartened by your newsfeed or distracted by the bombast of the propagandists.

The vast majority is anti-MAGA, anti-Trump, and pro-Democracy.

Let’s act like we know.

0 Comments

Posted on

Quelle Suprise!

hey, folks? I’m not sure how to break this to you, but it’s looking more and more like the guy who lied about bone spurs and lied about hush money and lied about his dead pedo bestie and lied about how tariffs work and lied about being able to point to a camel and lied about his weight and lied about his golf scores and lied about his wealth and lied about a hurricane and lied about a pandemic and lied about his taxes and lied about a million other things has been lying to us about just how swimmingly his don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war on Iran is going.

oh, and his piss-drunk Secretary of Death? the shouty one with all the Christofascist tattoos, who gets off on bombing schoolgirls? he’s been lying, too.

I know, right?

remember all that blather from Preznit Fuckwit about how Iran’s military has been smithereened to death and how they have no navy and can’t fight, and how the whole country is on the verge of complete collapse, and how Iran has no choice but to open up that Strait of Epstein, like, any minute now?

yeah, well guess fucking what.

that’s right, the Washington Post got its hands on a leaked CIA report that basically contradicts every word that’s seeped out of Dear Leader’s rancid anus-mouth.

The analysis by the U.S. intelligence community, whose secret assessments on Iran have often been more sober than the administration’s public statements, also found that Tehran retains significant ballistic missile capabilities despite weeks of intense U.S. and Israeli bombardment, three of the people familiar with it said.

oh, so not totally obliterated, then.

Donny has been presenting us with a version of his merry little war that bears absolutely no resemblance to reality.

either Donny’s been lying to us, or someone like Piss-Drunk Pete has been lying to Donny — or, more likely, everyone is lying to everyone, because that’s all these shit-kazoos do all day long, tell one lie after another like it’s going out of style.

remember how Donny keeps telling us he holds all the cards? he never shuts the fuck up about holding all the cards, because like any toddler who’s been dropped on its head, Donny thinks a stupid joke gets funnier the more often he repeats it.

well, it looks like Iran still has about three quarters of their cards.

Iran retains about 75% of its prewar inventories of mobile launchers and about 70% of its prewar stockpiles of missiles. There is evidence that the regime has been able to recover and reopen almost all of its underground storage facilities, repair some damaged missiles, and even assemble some new missiles that were nearly complete when the war began.

basically Donny isn’t even anywhere close to winning this war, because Iran still retains most of its weapons stockpile, and is rebuilding its military infrastructure faster than Donny can blow it up.

Iran is laughing at Donny, as they eat his lunch.

how is that any kind of victory? look at that, even Obama can’t figure it out — and he’s a smart dude. he went to Harvard and everything.

now take that story, and add to it the one we got the other day, about how “Iranian airstrikes have damaged or destroyed at least 228 structures or pieces of equipment at U.S. military sites across the Middle East since the war began,” to the point where some bases have had to move their staff elsewhere.

it’s just one ginormous shitpile of lies.

this is why I go fucking ballistic when I see a newspaper headline that begins with ‘Donny says…’ — because Donny says a lot of shit, and almost none of it is true.

telling us that ‘Donny says he’s winning’ without also noting that his claim is without evidence is not reporting, it’s worthless scribbling.

it fact, it’s worse than worthless. it’s outright dangerous, because a democracy cannot survive without a fully-informed populace.

so anyway, there we were, minding our own business yesterday afternoon, when out of the clear blue, The New York Times informed us that a possible deal to end the war and reopen the Strait was imminent.

after all, it’s nearly the end of the week, and those markets aren’t going to manipulate themselves.

but then like 30 seconds later,

The U.S. military said it struck Iranian military facilities and other targets after, it said, Iran fired on U.S. warships in the Strait of Hormuz.

what the fuck is going on in the Middle East? ‘exchanging fire’ doesn’t sound very ‘truce-y’ to me — and it didn’t sound very truce-y to a reporter who caught up with Donny later in the day.

reporter: “after these strikes is the ceasefire with Iran still on?”

Donny: “yeah, it is.”

the ceasefire is still on, because words stopped having meanings in the Donnyverse years ago. I’m so old, I remember when a ‘ceasefire’meant that all parties ‘ceased firing.’

Donny: “they trifled with us today. we blew ’em away. they trifled. I call that a trifle. I’ll let you know when there’s no cease— you won’t have to know. if there’s no cease fire, you’re not going to have to know, you’re just going to have to look at one big glow coming out of Iran. and they better sign their agreement fast.”

excuse me, a big fucking glow? did Donny just threaten to nuke Iran? he did, didn’t he?

what the fuck is wrong with this maniac?

this is all so incoherent. one minute we’re told that a deal is imminent — and then the next minute, missiles are flying everywhere. could everyone please stop getting shot?

and then to top it off, here comes Donny, and he’s all ‘Iran’s gonna be glowing. get it? get it?’

I know that Donny imagines this makes him sound like the ultimate tough guy, but it doesn’t. he just sounds weak and stupid, and his threats accomplish nothing. every time the fucking idiot says something like this, Iran just gets up and walks away from the negotiating table. it’s how they’ve reacted to every one of Donny’s infantile threats — and Donny would understand that by now, if the demented imbecile had any capacity to learn.

has anyone checked the prediction markets? I’ll bet there’s someone out there who’s going to make a total killing on any nuclear conflagration.

we def need a palate cleanse after all that. I don’t know who created this image, but they just won the entire internet.

meanwhile, good news, everyone! we’re all going to die of hantavirus.

reporter: “can I ask you about the hantavirus? have you been briefed on the virus?”

Donny: “yes, I have.”

reporter: “can you tell us what you’ve learned in these briefings?”

Donny: “well, I think you’re going to be told everything, and you already have. uhhhh, it’s very much, we hope under control. it was the— ship. and I think we’re gonna make a full report about it tomorrow. we have— a lotta people. it’s a lotta great people, are studying it. it should be— fine. we hope.”

reporter: “are you concerned it’s going to spread?”

Donny: “I hope not, I mean I hope not.”

oh joy, Donny hopes not. rest easy, everyone — the guy who tried to wishful-think a pandemic out of existence six years ago is on the case.

Donny’s got a ‘lotta great people’ who are ‘studying it.’ big, strong, teary-eyed virologists, who are definitely in the room with us right now.

why does hearing this from Donny this fill me with zero confidence?

I don’t know about you, but I’m so glad that I have boxes and boxes of masks and gloves left over from the covid era.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

0 Comments