Word.
"What The Fuck Took You So Long?"
A Question For Our Modern World
I don't know, but I'd sure as hell like to try.
Shower Thoughts
The people upset about not being able to 3D print an AK-47 are probably the same people who'd be up in arms if you could 3D print a NuvaRing.
One Of These Is Not Like the Others
Give up? It's the guy on the far right. He has long hair and ink.
Well Duh!
Shower Thoughts
There's nothing more satisfying than hearing about poachers being eaten by lions.
Shower Thoughts
Football is the world's most important unimportant thing.
That Explains It All
Preach!
God Has Nothing To Do With Trump Being President
From John Pavlovitz:
If I hear one more Evangelical claim that God chose Donald Trump, I'm swear I'm gonna rapture myself.
Christian Trumpers really need to stop spiritualizing the man, his campaign, and his Presidency.
It's sinful.
It's blasphemous.
It's lousy evangelism.
It's also just plain asinine.
The hypocrisy on display is historic: after spending the past 8 years straining to find infinitesimal specks in Barack Obama's eye that they could condemn as dealbreakers—Evangelicals are now perfectly fine with Trump's forest of Redwoods.
In fact, in the most dizzying display of theological spin doctoring, it is now precisely his ever-growing trail of personal toxic discharge that supposedly proves evidence of God's hand in it all.
So Trump's multiple marriages, his porn star affairs, his mountain of sexual assault claims, his verbal obscenities, his disregard for rule of law, his compulsive lying, his clear racism, his unrelenting attacks on marginalized communities (things these Christians would have figuratively and almost literally crucified Obama for) are now unmistakable signs that God is using this President.
This is nonsense of Biblical proportions; to try and draw some line between Jesus of Nazareth and Don of New York, is about as farcical as you can get without actually spontaneously combusting from the cognitive dissonance.
Dying to justify their own allegiances to Trump, Evangelicals have lumped him in with other famously flawed heroes of Scripture, suggesting he is actually God's anointed, imperfect tool of salvation—in the tradition of the Old Testament.(Well, God did apparently use the jawbone of an ass, so I guess there is precedent).
Seriously, this sanctified retrofitting of this godless President to any kind of Providential momentum is the height of absurdity. By that measurement, let's find all the most reprehensible human beings we can, give them carte blanche in our seats of power—and see just what God can do!
No, Donald Trump wasn't anointed by God.
He isn't an instrument of Divine will.
He isn't Biblically hastening Armageddon or Jesus' return.
He's just a hateful, indecent, predatory fraud who is destroying the environment, stripping people of their human rights, and making America a global laughing-stock.
His ascension is not prophetic but pathetic, the result of:
● Russian interference
● Fake News
● Gerrymandering
● Voter Suppression
● Hillary Hatred
● Obama Resentment
● Fox News Brainwashing
● Democratic Stumbles
● The Votes of Bigoted Evangelicals, whites terrified of losing market share, and third-party voters—and the inaction of 100 million Americans who couldn't be bothered to participate in one of the greatest responsibilities of living here.
That's it.
No Providence.
No Divine messages.
No Biblical prophecies.
No spiritual movements.
Just ordinary human beings who chose really, really poorly when they should have known better.
This isn't a mystery or a miracle—and it sure as hell isn't God. Christians need to stop passing the buck to God, and just own the compromises and sick bedfellows they've been willing to make for Supreme Court seats, anti-LGBTQ legislation, weapon stockpiling, and a rapidly assembling white Christian theocracy.
Stop namedropping God.
God wasn't generating fake news or showing up at his campaign rallies or stumping for him at nationwide crusades or using him as an expression of their misogyny.
God didn't vote for the guy who said he could grab women by the genitalia.
God didn't choose the guy who said protestors should be beaten.
God didn't go with the guy endorsed by the KKK.
God didn't excuse the bankruptcies and overlook the affairs and laugh off the racist remarks.
I'm pretty sure people did that—lots of supposedly Christian folks.
And God isn't now taunting teenage shooting victims on social media, or ignoring thousands of lost immigrant children, or turning a blind eye to Constitutional crises, or celebrating LGBTQ discrimination, or laughing off collusion, treason, and human rights atrocities.
Again, Christians.
We really should stop pretending God is responsible for this fast food dumpster fire, when it's clear whose hand is in it all.
This reality is the rotten fruit of misogyny, racism, Nationalism, fear, xenophobia, and bigotry—all released by people who want God to consent to it all so they don't have to deal with their own culpability or face their own repentance.
God does not consent.
Pray on that.
Ethics
#truth
Choices Have Consequences
Quote of the Day
The veneer of civilization, I concluded, was quite thin—a natural thought for an intelligence officer whose profession trends pessimistic and whose work is consumed by threats and dangers. Over the years I had learned that the traditions and institutions that protect us from living Hobbesian "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short" lives are inherently fragile and demand careful tending. In America today, they are under serious stress.
It was no accident that the Oxford Dictionaries' word of the year in 2016 was "post-truth," a condition where facts are less influential in shaping opinion than emotion and personal belief. To adopt post-truth thinking is to depart from Enlightenment ideas, dominant in the West since the 17th century, that value experience and expertise, the centrality of fact, humility in the face of complexity, the need for study and a respect for ideas. ~ Michael Hayden, former director of the NSA and CIA, in an op-ed for The New York Times
Funny, That
Judge My Vow
Karma's a Bitch
Poor little snowflake.
Small? I'd Say More Like Micro
And that's just the tip (no pun intended) of his mental issues…
Tuesday After a Three Day Weekend
100 Things To Live By
1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Don't knock it 'til you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use 'we' when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Don't underestimate free throws in a game of 'horse'.
8. Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
9. Don't dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If you're staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
19. Don't mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it's only once.
21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Don't linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, don't sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When you're with new friends, don't just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. It's never too late for an apology.
34. Don't pose with booze.
35. If you have the right of way, take it.
36. You don't get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she's pregnant.
40. It's not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
41. Don't make a scene.
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in good luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It's her special day, too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Don't stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. You'll only have to do it once.
55. If you've made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when you're wrong.
57. If you offer to help don't quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Don't boo. Even the ref is somebody's son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67. It's okay to go to the movies by yourself.
68. Dance with your mother/father.
69. Don't lose your cool. Especially at work.
70. Always thank the host.
71. If you don't understand, ask before it's too late.
72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend's clothes.
73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74. Be a good listener. Don't just wait for your turn to talk.
75. Keep your word.
76. In college, always sit in the front. You'll stand out immediately.
77. Carry your mother's bags. She carried you for nine months.
78. Be patient with airport security. They're just doing their jobs.
79. Don't be the talker in a movie.
80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
81. You are what you do, not what you say.
82. Learn to change a tire.
83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85. Don't litter.
86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87. You won't always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
90. Make the little things count.
91. Always wear a bra at work.
92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93. You're never too old to need your mom.
94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet are killing you.
95. Know the words to your national anthem.
96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.
97. Smile at strangers.
98. Make goals.
99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
~ A high school teacher's list of 100 wisest words.
Not Everything Is Lost
Via Wil Wheaton:
After learning my flight was detained 4 hours,
I heard the announcement:
If anyone in the vicinity of gate 4-A understands any Arabic,
Please come to the gate immediately.
Well—one pauses these days. Gate 4-A was my own gate. I went there.
An older woman in full traditional Palestinian dress,
Just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly.
Help, said the flight service person. Talk to her. What is her
Problem? we told her the flight was going to be four hours late and she
Did this.
I put my arm around her and spoke to her haltingly.
Shu dow-a, shu- biduck habibti, stani stani schway, min fadlick,
Sho bit se-wee?
The minute she heard any words she knew—however poorly used—
She stopped crying.
She thought our flight had been canceled entirely.
She needed to be in El Paso for some major medical treatment the
Following day. I said no, no, we're fine, you'll get there, just late,
Who is picking you up? Let's call him and tell him.
We called her son and I spoke with him in English.
I told him I would stay with his mother till we got on the plane and
Would ride next to her—Southwest.
She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it.
Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and
Found out of course they had ten shared friends.
Then I thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian
Poets I know and let them chat with her. This all took up about 2 hours.
She was laughing a lot by then. Telling about her life. Answering
Questions.
She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies—little powdered
Sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts—out of her bag—
And was offering them to all the women at the gate.
To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a
Sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the traveler from California,
The lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same
Powdered sugar. And smiling. There are no better cookies.
And then the airline broke out the free beverages from huge coolers—
Non-alcoholic—and the two little girls for our flight, one African
American, one Mexican American—ran around serving us all apple juice
And lemonade and they were covered with powdered sugar too.
And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—
Had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing,
With green furry leaves. Such an old country traveling tradition. Always
Carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.
And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought,
This is the world I want to live in. The shared world.
Not a single person in this gate—once the crying of confusion stopped
—has seemed apprehensive about any other person.
They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women too.
This can still happen anywhere.
Not everything is lost.
~Naomi Shihab Nye (b. 1952), "Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal."
"It's like arguing against gay marriage with a dick in your mouth."
I love Trae.
Stupid Question
Quote of the Day
Beating Back The St00pid