Once a legitimate blog. Now just a collection of memes 'n menz.
Just kidding. Trump is flushing the economy to give Billionaires more tax breaks.
Well done MAGA. He’s fucking you in the ass and you’re saying, “Please Sir, may I have some more?”
Holy Shit, do you all have learning disabilities? He’s a fucking stupid idiot, a massive failure, a fraud, and a goddamned felon. He does not give a single fuck about you. He never has never will.
How many times do we have to go through this bullshit?
From Jeff Tiedrich:
n today’s episode of Bad Take Theater, we’re going to hear two from worthless Republicans and one dipshit New York Times reporter as they concoct fever-swamp fantasies about why Donny Convict’s blatant, in-your-face corruption isn’t actually corruption.
Missouri Senator Josh Hawley is the holder of the land speed record for Getting The Fuck Out of Here While Insurrectionists Are Insurrecting.
he’s also one of Donny’s chief apologists on Capitol Hill. his farcical explanation for why Dear Leader isn’t corrupt boils down to ‘what’s Donny need money for? he’s already got shitloads.’
Manu Raju: “what about this meme coin? when the price goes up, it helps his family.”
Josh Hawley: “well, listen. I think nobody believes that Donald Trump can be bought. I mean, what does Donald Trump need more money for.”
methinks Josh Hawley is trying to blow smoke up everyone’s ass.
let me put this in words simple enough to penetrate even the cultists’ thick skulls: Donny needs more money so he can win at having the most fucking money. it’s called greed. having ALL the money is the point.
for Donny Convict, no amount of anything is ever enough. that’s what being a profoundly damaged, bottomless swamp of need is all about.
there will never be sufficient money, power, or attention to fill the gaping hole where Donny’s soul is supposed to be. he’s fucking broken beyond repair — and now, the entire world must be made to suffer because of it.
let’s explore Josh’s ludicrous claim that ‘nobody believes Donny can be bought.’
here, watch this: everybody who knows Donny Convict can be bought, please raise your hand.
oh look, there’s the Emir of Qatar. he’s got his their hand up. he know Donny can be bought. it’s the whole reason he just handed him a vulgar flying bordello — and now Donny’s going down his list of demands, and checking them off one by one.
over there is the Saudi royal family. hands up, all of them. they’ve been lining Donny’s pockets for decades. they’ve been at the game so long that they already know Donny’s price: a bag of greaseburgers.
look who else has his hand up: Ahmed al-Sharaa, the president of Syria. all he had to do get Donny to drop sanctions was dangle the mere possibility of a Trump Tower in Damascus.
and that’s just in the last three days. so what the fuck are you gibbering about, Josh?
let’s move on to the guy who has been voted Most Useless Republican for three years running.
Holy Mike Johnson’s bad take is that corruption isn’t corruption if it’s done right out in the open.
reporter: “Mr. Speaker, you were very critical of President Biden and his family’s foreign business dealings and supported impeachment hearings. are you equally concerned about President Trump’s family’s business dealings as well, especially due to the fact that he’s in a region now where his family has billions of dollars of investments in Doha, and Saudi Arabia, and the fact that he has a crypto business now, where he’s auctioned off access to the White House for the highest bidder?”
Holy Mike [after first lying about Biden and his family]: “whatever President Trump is doing is out in the open. they’re not trying to conceal anything.”
fuck Holy Mike for expecting us to swallow his shit-sandwich.
here’s where Mike’s ridiculous assertion falls apart: for Donny, being openly corrupt is part of the game — because fuck you, that’s why. getting right in your face and daring you to do something about it is what makes corruption fun.
Donny knows that he doesn’t have to hide anything he does — because who’s going to hold him accountable? Congress? fuhgetaboutit. the Department of Justice? oh please. Krazee Eyes Ka$h Patel and Pam Bondi were installed to facilitate Donny’s crimes, not prosecute them. the Supreme Court? don’t make me laugh. they’re the shitwads who put the whole concept of I’m A Very Special Boy into Donny’s head in the first place.
who knows, maybe Chuck Schumer’s writing a strongly-worded letter. yeah, that’ll do it.
here’s something we have absolutely no fucking use for at all: a New York Times reporter explaining that corruption isn’t corruption according to a definition of corruption that he just pulled out of his ass.
“Corruption requires explicit quid pro quo. It is not corrupt to take an action that aligns with the interest of a person who gives you a gift, unless the official action was in direct response to that gift–a bribe. Terms matter. Accuracy and fairness matters. Regardless of what social media wants.”
got that? it’s not corruption unless Ahmed al-Sharaa writes a note that says ‘if I let you build a tower will you be my friend’ and passes it to the world leader at the next desk.
here’s why that definition fails:
Donny is a mob boss, and you’re never going to catch him in the act, because he doesn’t leave a paper trail.
that’s how it works. all the dirty work is done with a nod and a wink. here’s how Donny’s former fixer, Michael Cohen, explained it during House testimony in 2019:
“He doesn’t give you questions, he doesn’t give you orders,” Cohen said. “He speaks in a code, and I understand the code because I’ve been around him for a decade.”
Donny’s a two-bit gangster who learned his trade from two experts: his tyrant klansman father, and crooked lawyer Roy Cohn. here’s what they taught him:
don’t you ever fucking write anything down. that’s how you get caught.
and so Donny doesn’t write anything down. he doesn’t use email, he doesn’t text. he doesn’t leave a trail for smug NY Times reporters to uncover. all he does is brag about imaginary wins on his janky app.
that’s why we’re in this shithole mess: we have far too many worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled media willing to give a filthy, corrupt mobster a benefit of the doubt that he has never earned.
here’s your hero of the day: Rep. Bennie Thompson. here’s how he opened his questioning of ICE Barbie yesterday.
“Secretary Noem, I’m glad you found time among your many photo ops and costume changes to testify about why President Trump is seeking more taxpayer dollars and what you plan to do with that money, if you get it.”
fuck yeah.
Donny’s Sewer Clowns are unserious, unqualified people who have been given way too much power over our lives, and we must never stop mocking them, any way we can.
From Jeff Tiedrich:
it’s just so fucking embarrassing to watch Mad King Donny represent America on the world stage. he’s monumentally stupid. he’s crass and uncouth, and his rancid anus-mouth has no filter — at any moment, he’s liable to blurt out random, inappropriate gibberish.
but above all, he’s utterly unaware of just how easily manipulated he is. flatter him, hand him a few shiny baubles, and this bottomless pit of neediness becomes putty in your hands — and all We the People can do is cringe as we watch this buffoon being led around by his nose.
Donny was in Saudi Arabia yesterday — and look what the Saudis did for our Big Boy President.
that’s right, Bone Saw Arabia built a custom-made rolling McDonalds for Donny — because god forbid this overgrown toddler endure an entire day without jamming a greasy wad of fat down his engorged gullet.
As the Saudis work to impress Trump during his trip to Riyadh this week, they’re focusing on even the smallest details—like his fondness for the Golden Arches—by setting up a custom-built mobile McDonald’s truck designed to support the presidential visit and the throng of journalists in tow.
how mortifying is it that our president can be bought off for a few burgers?
last time Donny visited Bone Saw Arabia, in 2017, they got him involved in some weird-ass sword dance.
and they let him put his freakishly-undersized fists on a glowing orb.
but this time? here’s your happy meal, fuckface. now give us what we want.
oh look, President Pudding Cup continues to prove he isn’t up to the rigors of his job.
check out this sleepy baby. he’s so plumb tuckered from his journey that he can barely keep his beady little eyes open.
wake up, Donny — Crown Prince Mohammad Bone Saw is talking.
let’s gif that shit for posterity’s sake.
this dilapidated fuckwit has now slept through cabinet meetings, campaign appearances, Pope Francis’ funeral, his own inauguration — and his own criminal trial.
can someone please get Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants a sippy-cup of warm milk, and tuck him into bed?
The 42-year-old Syrian leader has reportedly offered Mr Trump investment opportunities, including a Trump tower in Damascus.
now here’s a thing that happened on Tuesday. tell me if you think they might be related.
BREAKING: Trump announced lifting of sanctions on Syria
what’s America getting out of this arrangement? nothing, that’s what. Donny’s touring the Middle East so he can make personal deals to enrich himself, and the American public can go pound sand up their ass.
Donny’s in Qatar today, and we all know how they bought him off — with that vulgar airborne bordello.
listen to Donny explain why he needs this plane. it’s pure penis envy.Air Force One is just so tiny and flaccid compared to all the other big, manly planes.
“the plane that you’re in right now is almost forty years old. and when you land and you see Saudi Arabia and you see UAE and you see Qatar and you see— and they have these brand-new Boeing 747s, mostly. and you see ours next to it. this is like a totally different plane. it’s much smaller, much less impressive, as impressive as it is. and, you know, we’re the United States of America. I believe that we should have the most impressive plane … now some people say oh, you shouldn’t accepts gifts. my attitude is why shouldn’t I accept a gift?”
you shouldn’t accept a gift because it’s fucking wrong, you ignorant asshole. it’s specifically forbidden by the Constitution that you imagine somehow doesn’t apply to you.
but look at what’s eating away at Donny: all these Middle Eastern counties ruled over by despotic kings and princes have bigger planes than we do. oh, boo fucking hoo. cry me a river.
this delusional dipshit just doesn’t get it. he’s not royalty — no matter how hard he pretends. he’s a low-rent slumlord from Queens, New York who failed upwards forever until he finally stumbled ass-backwards into the Oval Office.
somehow he imagines that this entitles him to the world’s biggest airplane.
I guarantee that no other democratically-elected leader thinks twice about what they fly around in. it’s just not important. Emmanuel Macron doesn’t give a shit if his plane isn’t the biggest. neither does Mark Carney. neither does the Pope Fucking Leo, for that matter.
but Donny’s so broken-inside that he throws a shit-fit if he doesn’t get the most ice cream. I wish I were making this up.
It has emerged that the President has two scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie while everyone else at the table has just one.
keep in mind that — once again — the American people are getting nothing out of this. Donny gets to keep the plane, and take it home with him after he leaves office — and that’s after hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars are spent making it secure enough to be used as Air Force One.
Converting a luxury jet gifted by Qatar to President Donald Trump into a replacement for Air Force One could potentially cost hundreds of millions of dollars, and it could take up two years to install the necessary security equipment, communications and defensive capabilities for it to be safely used by the commander in chief.
so the American people actually are getting less than nothing out of this “deal.” thanks a fucking lot, Donny.
hey, look who found his voice. look who’s speaking out against Dear Leader accepting four-hundred-million-dollars bribes. it’s the Esteemed Senator Fidel Cancun — the timid lickspittle whose gonads have been marinating in jar on a Motel-a-Lago shelf since 2016.
even Ted knows that accepting trojan-horse gifts from human-rights-abusing fiefdoms is just plain wrong.
“I’m not a fan of Qatar. I think they have a really disturbing pattern of funding theocratic lunatics who want to murder us, funding Hamas and Hezbollah, and that’s a real problem. I also think the plane poses significant espionage and surveillance problems.”
he’s not wrong.
fuck you, Donny, for making me agree with Ted Fucking Cruz.
I wouldn’t put it past him…
Trump: ‘I run the country and the world’
President Trump shared his thoughts on how his two terms as president have differed, saying in a new interview with The Atlantic that this time around he’s leading “the country and the world.”
“The first time, I had two things to do — run the country and survive; I had all these crooked guys,” Trump said in the interview published Monday. “And the second time, I run the country and the world.”
This guy? ???? This guy???? says that??
From Mock Paper Scissors:
With a screech only bats and certain dogs can hear, Field Commander PeeWee Himmler declares that Hair Füror will make America the manufacturing capitol of the world…
an angry, twitching Stephen Miller yells on Fox News that Trump will "make American the manufacturing capital of the world"
Watch his eyes. You don’t have to be a Truthsayer of the Bene Gesserit Sisterhood to know that liars usually blink rapidly and in excess.
I have a feeling this “feature” isn’t going away for a very long time. ????
From Daring Fireball:
Mike Masnick has a great piece at TechDirt running down just how stupid everything about Trump’s tariff trade war is:
Whoever on the Council of Economic Advisers used this formula should turn in their econ degree, because this is not how anything works. Even if they then go on to publish another version of the formula that looks all sophisticated and shit.
Brendan Duke, on X, shows that the fancier version of their formula — which is fancy in the way that Vertu phones are “fancy” — is even stupider, because the two Greek letters they chose to glam it up just cancel each other out.
Back to Masnick:
This is what happens when you ask ChatGPT to “make my wrong econ math look more scientific.” The document even admits that they couldn’t figure out the actual tariff rates, so they “proxied” them with this formula instead. That’s a bit like saying you couldn’t find your house keys, so you proxied them with a banana.
The fundamental problem here isn’t just that the tariff numbers are wrong — though they absolutely are. It’s that the entire premise rests on treating trade deficits as if they were tariffs. They’re not the same thing. At all.
Let’s back up for a moment and talk about trade deficits, because Trump has been getting this wrong for longer than some of his supporters have been alive. His logic appears to be:
This sounds like it must be an exaggeration for comic effect, but it’s not. That’s how Trump’s mind works. This is what Trump has been saying about trade deficits for decades. It’s like how he understands “asylum” to mean “insane asylum” and so when he talks about political asylum he starts talking about “the late great Hannibal Lecter”.
From Mock Paper Scissors:
Yesterday, Lord Damp Nut signed another Executive Order, this time demanding that the states surrender election control to the federal government or else he will pull funding to the offending state, which is impoundment and is patently illegal:
NEW YORK (AP) — President Donald Trump on Tuesday signed a sweeping executive action to overhaul elections in the U.S., including requiring documentary proof of citizenship to register to vote in federal elections and demanding that all ballots be received by Election Day.
The order says the U.S. has failed “to enforce basic and necessary election protections” and calls on states to work with federal agencies to share voter lists and prosecute election crimes. It threatens to pull federal funding from states where election officials don’t comply.
The move, which is likely to face swift challenges because states have broad authority to set their own election rules, is consistent with Trump’s long history of railing against election processes. He often claims elections are being rigged, even before the results are known, and has waged battles against certain voting methods since he lost the 2020 election to Democrat Joe Biden and falsely blamed it on widespread fraud.
[Before we fall too far into the rabbit hole, remember the executive orders are essentially memos, and not laws. And duh, a memo that instructs someone to break a law is definitionally not allowed. ]
We’ve covered the civics of elections before, our pals at Electoral-Vote explain to us why this memo is stupid:
Broadly speaking, this XO is mostly bark, and not a lot of bite. The federal government has very little role in administering elections, and so has little right to dictate terms under which elections are conducted. Indeed, even the provision of federal law that prohibits non-citizens from voting in federal elections, which was only adopted in 1996, might not be legal—it just hasn’t been tested in court. Whoever it is that is writing Trump’s XOs for him clearly knows all of this, which is why “enforcement” of the order rests not in any existing legal authority, but instead in the threat that if states don’t do what they are told, they will lose federal funding.
The emptiness of the order is best illustrated by looking closely at the portion that made all the headlines yesterday, namely the part about proving one’s citizenship in order to be able to vote. Since there is absolutely no way that blue states are going to go for that (as doing so would effectively justify Republicans’ phony arguments about mass voter fraud), what the order actually does is order the Election Assistance Commission (EAC) to change the federal voter registration form to include a proof-of-citizenship requirement.
There are many problems here from the vantage point of the Trumpers. First, the EAC is an independent agency, and not subject to presidential orders. Further, like the FEC, it is deliberately set up to have an equal number of Democratic and Republican commissioners (2 of each in the case of the EAC; 3 of each in the case of the FEC). So, there is no reason to think the EAC is going to play ball here. And even if they do, then people who don’t have proof of citizenship, or don’t feel like proving their identity just ’cause The Man says so, will just use their state’s registration form. And all of this is before we talk about the lawsuits that are coming, and that the administration will lose. Oh, and if Trump does try to yank funding in order to punish a state for not following his decrees, that’s a different set of lawsuits, since that would be impoundment, which is illegal.
So we’ve seen this movie before, we know the ending. I’ll add to the mix that the Constitution very clearly gives election management to the individual states, and to change that it would require an amendment to the Constitution, requiring ⅔ of both houses of Congress to approve and ¾ of the States to ratify.
From Greg Fallis:
By now, everybody is aware of the colossal fuck-up in which senior Trump national security officials conducted a high level discussion about launching at attack in Yemen using…and it sounds so stupid to write this, but it’s true…using a messaging platform that IS NOT approved for exchanging classified or secret intelligence.
These weren’t low-level aides we’re talking about. This was Trump’s Vice President, his Director of National Intelligence, his National Security Adviser, his Secretary of Defense, his CIA Director and his Chief of Staff. Oh yeah, and the editor of The Atlantic. The fact that these people had this discussion on a commercially available cell phone app is scandal enough. But it’s just ONE OF MANY scandals revealed by this fuck-up.
For example, Trump’s national security team isn’t quite sure if Trump has actually ordered the attack. They were discussing the timing of the attack–when the attack should take place–when Trump’s Chief of Staff says, “As I heard it, the president was clear: green light.” Seriously, this attack took place when it did because Stephen Miller interpreted some comment from Trump as a ‘green light.’ Apparently nothing was signed; apparently no official record exists authorizing an attack on a foreign nation. In any normal administration, that would be unthinkable. But this is Trump.
Another thing. One of the members of Trump’s national security team, Steve Witkoff, was in Moscow at the time (he’s Trump’s Ukraine negotiator) meeting with Putin and his people. Let me just say that again. This guy was part of a group chat discussing highly sensitive information involving the military’s attack capabilities, using an unapproved app on a cell phone while waiting for a meeting with Vlad Putin IN MOSCOW. In any normal administration, that would be unthinkable. But this is Trump.
There’s more. During this astonishingly stupid group chat on a non-secure cell phone, Trump’s Director of the Central Intelligence Agency, John Ratcliffe, used the name of an active intelligence officer. He basically outed a working spy, which is a criminal act. In any normal administration, that would not only be unthinkable, but would lead to criminal charges. But this is Trump. His Attorney General and Director of the FBI will almost certainly refuse to investigate the matter, let alone bring criminal charges.
And if that’s not scandal enough, when confronted by news media about the incident, Trump said he wasn’t aware of it.
“I don’t know anything about it. You’re telling me about it for the first time.”
This is Trump, so that’s almost certainly a lie. Almost certainly, also because this is Trump. It’s entirely possible his national security team 1) had decided Trump probably intended to order an attack on Yemen and didn’t bother to get the decision confirmed, 2) were too lazy or incompetent to use secure communications systems to organize the attack, 3) and when it became public that they’d not only used wildly inappropriate and insecure tech to discuss the attack BUT ALSO INCLUDED A FUCKING CIVILIAN WHO WAS THE EDITOR OF A GODDAMN NEWS MAGAZINE, they decided NOT to tell POTUS that they’d fucked up. Which would mean Trump can’t trust his own hand-picked national security team to keep him informed or tell him the truth. Which is entirely possible. Although it’s more likely Trump just lied about not knowing, because that’s what he does.
In any normal administration, an incident like this would lead to mass resignations and/or terminations as well as criminal charges. But this is Trump.
Right now, it appears the Trump administration is attempting to put the blame for all this on National Security Adviser Mike Waltz, who set up the ‘group chat’ and accidentally included the editor of The Atlantic. But every single person who participated in the discussion should have known the proper protocol; they should have objected to having the discussion outside a sensitive compartmentalized information facility (SCIF); they should have refused to participate.
What will happen? Who knows? Democrats will be outraged, but will they actually DO anything? Who knows? Will anybody be held accountable for such a colossal fuck-up? Who knows? It’s possible that this scandal, like every Trump scandal, will be buried beneath the next cascade of scandal. It’s possible nothing at all will happen; nothing will change.
Because this is Trump. Nothing is ordinary anymore. No rules apply, no norms are maintained, no standards exist. There is only Trump and his cadre of trolls, banging around randomly, ignoring actual governance in their pursuit of performative trolling.
