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It’s Stuff Like This That Keeps Me On Instagram
Shut Up And Take My Money!
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Palate Cleanser
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Having a Passion For Your Work Is Important
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Rude Awakening
Oh, So That’s Why They’re Still Here…
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You’re OLD If You Get This…
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Right?!
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Not Everyone Will Get This…
Stockholm? Nah…Just A Couple Horny Gay Boys
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No. Lie. Detected.
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Houston, We Are Horny
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I Apologize In Advance
Please Note…
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You Know It’ll Be Like That
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Now You Know Who Does It!
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I Apologize In Advance
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He’s Not Wrong
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You’ve Heard of Murphy’s Law
But there are many other such laws.
Here are a few:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
-Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair
Identical parts aren’t.
-Beach’s Law
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
-Anthony’s Law of the Workshop
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
-Tussman’s Law
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
-Lowery’s Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
-Peer’s Law
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
-William’s Law
Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it’s green or it wiggles, it’s Biology.
2. If it stinks, it’s Chemistry.
3. If it doesn’t work, it’s Physics.
Machines should work. People should think.
-IBM’s Pollyanna Principle
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage – management.
-The Dilbert Principle
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
-Ehrlich’s Law
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
-Ralph’s Observation
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
-Cannon’s Comment
Thinly sliced cabbage.
-Cole’s Law
Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.
-Franklin’s Law
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And Here We Are…
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????
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Be Gay, Do Crime
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All The Amenities
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