Category: Humor

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”

“Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations.”

“How much is everyone giving, on average?” the driver asks.

The man replies, “Roughly a gallon.”

What if your first name was Holden and your last name was Berries. You’d be Holden Berries and everyone would think you’re holden berries.
A guy named Holden Cox didn’t think this was funny.

An influencer who attended tRUMPs meme coin dinner says he got a Walmart steak and no access to the president.
Wow, he got scammed by the most famous scammer on Earth at the scam meeting? Who could have seen this coming?

I wish Facebook would notify me when someone unfriends me so I could like it.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat.
14 hours, no responsibilities.

If you’re attracted to both women and men but neither of them are attracted to you that means you are
Bi-Yourself.

It’s probably hard to separate church and state when you can’t separate fact from fiction.

Sign: Groj sale
My guess is there will be no books at this one.

If a Toucan can does that mean a Onecan shouldn’t be allowed to try? Or is it illegal for one of them to even try?

Sign:
Kansas City welcomes 25 million people anally.

What’s wrong with society these days?
No one drinks from the skull of their enemies anymore.

The Ratio of an Igloo’s Circumference to its Diameter…
Eskimo Pi.

Do crabs think fish are flying?

Counselor to husband: Do you feel dominated by your wife.
Wife: No, he doesn’t.

What do you call a Knight that’s afraid to fight?
Sir Render.

All my passwords are protected by amnesia.

Balloons are weird.
Happy Birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.

Sign: The Pony Strip Club
Now hiring class of 2025

A penny for your thoughts…
even though that does seem a little pricy.

“No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.” – Mark Twain

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