Category: Humor

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Passing on Some Jokes

A man was admitted to the hospital with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum. His condition was listed as stable.

Always support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

I had sex with my second cousin, and now it’s really awkward. I should have learned my lesson with the first one.

Autocorrect has become my worst enema.

I’m thinking of killing off a few characters in the book I am writing. It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.

What’s the difference between a flat earther and a knife? A knife has a point. (Only one of them is likely to be sharp.)

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time and a well known art critic is in attendance. The critic says to the young artist, “Would you like my opinion on your work?” “Yes,” says the artist. “It’s worthless,” says the critic. The artist replies, “I know, but tell me anyway.”

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a complete idiot.

If you put Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry together in a room, who’s the first to realize they’re full of shit? The room.

Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and Rick Perry are stuck on a deserted island, who survives? Texas.

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A Little Humor

So I was banging this nice lady on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, ‘It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!’

Thinking back, I really should have run, but you don’t get offers like that every day.”

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