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Am I really that big of a perv that I laughed out loud when I saw it?

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John was aghast as he realized yet another unsuspecting phone booth was about to be abducted by aliens and subjected to unimaginable horrors…

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“Hold on a sec, Frank. I’ve gotta go pay off that damn paperboy…again.”

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“With her atrocious performance on the maxi-challenge and that runway look, Jules is definitely going to be lipsyncing for her life.”

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“I am tripping balls right now!”

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“Here…I’ll trade you this for the car! PLEASE!?!”

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“Honey, how many times do I have to tell you? Keep it at 40 or the body starts decomposing right away!”

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“Brad’s hot. Think he’d be into a little Pepsi bottle ass-play?”

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???

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“Now ladies, no need to fight over it. Once I get this unzipped you’ll see there’s plenty for both of you!”

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“I swear kid, if you snap another upskirt photo of my wife I’ll throw you off this train myself you little perv!”

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“Oh Christ…who invited the Hendersons? They’re such assholes…”

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…the usual suspects snowflakes have their panties in a total twist.

And to that, I say GOOD.

Yeah, some of the jokes fell flat, but others definitely hit the mark…and left welts.

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“I really don’t mind if John spends half an hour in the Greyhound mens’ room before we get on the bus. He always comes out so happy and relaxed.”

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“George is lighting Frank’s cigarette! Do you think he’s gonna ask him out?”

“Damn George, I never realized how big your hands were…how big and masculine.”

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“Jules, that look was already done in Season 9, and it’s obvious you don’t know the words, either!”

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“I’ve got two more balls just that big as that one and they’re itchin’ to be played with. Go ahead. I know you want to.”

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“Honey, I really don’t need to see that.”

“You should get that looked at.”

“I don’t think it’s supposed to be that color.”

“Jesus CHRIST, lady!”

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“I’m never going to get rid of these blood stains before CSI shows up!”

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