“Jules wins one competition and she’s acting like she’s America’s next drag superst….WAIT! How the fuck did she get that car onto the runway?!?”

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“Wait, wait! This is right before the scene of him on his knees in the locker room as the team’s new Bukakke Boy.”

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“I told you those horse tranquilizers were a good investment.”

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“I don’t know how Jules does it. She’s been in the bottom two for the past four weeks and yet she always manages to pull it out with those tired old splits at the last minute.”

“Really? I heard she never pulls it out. Oh. You mean the competition.”

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Paul’s cock twitched and his butthole involuntarily clenched a bit when he spotted the huge, still-damp cum stain and got a whiff of the anonymous man-scent coming off yet another pair of underwear he’d stolen from the gym locker room. It was all he could do not to smash his face in the crotch of those tighty-whities right then and there and inhale deeply,

“Later,” he told himself. “Later.”

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“You can root for her all you want, Mary. Jules is still going home with that lipsync tonight.”

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When I first saw this yesterday tears were streaming down my cheeks from trying to stifle my laughter.

I’ve heard, understood, and yes—used—everything except “Bop.” So I guess I’m not old after all. (Of course it could just be because I’m married to a young stud…or that we watch Drag Race.)

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“Bitch, for the hundredth time I told you the next number is Macho Man, not “YMCA!”

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Am I really that big of a perv that I laughed out loud when I saw it?

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John was aghast as he realized yet another unsuspecting phone booth was about to be abducted by aliens and subjected to unimaginable horrors…

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“Hold on a sec, Frank. I’ve gotta go pay off that damn paperboy…again.”

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“With her atrocious performance on the maxi-challenge and that runway look, Jules is definitely going to be lipsyncing for her life.”

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“I am tripping balls right now!”

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“Here…I’ll trade you this for the car! PLEASE!?!”

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“Honey, how many times do I have to tell you? Keep it at 40 or the body starts decomposing right away!”

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“Brad’s hot. Think he’d be into a little Pepsi bottle ass-play?”

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???

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“Now ladies, no need to fight over it. Once I get this unzipped you’ll see there’s plenty for both of you!”

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“I swear kid, if you snap another upskirt photo of my wife I’ll throw you off this train myself you little perv!”

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“Oh Christ…who invited the Hendersons? They’re such assholes…”

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…the usual suspects snowflakes have their panties in a total twist.

And to that, I say GOOD.

Yeah, some of the jokes fell flat, but others definitely hit the mark…and left welts.

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