Category: Humor

Posted on

"Gee, Bud…


…that's a swell idea, but I've already got a fisting party with Fred, Arthur, Bill and Joe booked that night."

Yes, I am going to hell.

Posted on

"He Would Have an Enormous Schwanzstücker!"

"For the experiment to be a success, all of the body parts must be enlarged."
"In other vords: his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs vould all have to be increased in size?"
"Exactly."
"He vould have an enormous Schwanzstücker."
"That goes without saying."
"Voof."
"He's going to be very popular."

If you don't know the where that reference came from, go away and never darken these hallowed halls again.

Posted on

Still Funny After All These Years

Another gem from my archive at the Wayback Machine:

The Pope and George Bush are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.

The President and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the President says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Republican in the crowd go wild?"

The Pope doubts it, so Bush shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Republican in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do. "That was impressive. But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

The President seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slapped the shit out of him.