At some point in time, you will be the crazy person in someone else's story.

Why is "Sean" pronounced as "Shawn" instead of "Seen," but "Dean" is pronounced "Deen" instead of "Dawn"?

Plastic dinosaurs are made out of real dinosaurs.

The most effective alarm clock is the sound of your dog throwing up on the floor or peeing on the bed.

Nothing wakes you up as fast as the panic of thinking you overslept on a work day.

The smell of cotton candy has gone from, "There Must Be A Carnival Nearby" to "Who's The Douche Who's Vaping?"

It's odd how we define laundry. Clothes become laundry when they're taken off and put in a basket. They remain laundry until they're washed, dried and put away and then they become clothes again.

Replacing "didn't" with "did not" in the following sentence "Why didn't you…" breaks English.

At home it's weird for two people to eat two different things for dinner but at a restaurant it's weird to order the same thing.

"As fuck" has become a universal unit of measurement.