Category: Memes

1. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Personal invisibility and the ability to turn any object I touch invisible at will. Wouldn't you want to slip into a closed-door meeting of government officials to hear what they're really thinking? Or expose all the religious hypocrites for who they really are? (And capture it on video!)

2. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Assuming that I retain full memory of my present life and actually go back to the age I was at the chosen time, pretty much any Friday or Saturday night circa 1978/1979 at HisCo Disco in Phoenix. I would revel in the company of long-departed friends and dance. my. ass. off.

3. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I don't know what it is with these memes and their obsession of things in the past. I've had unpleasant experiences throughout my life, but each of them set me on a path that brought me to where I am now. And I wouldn't change that for the world.

4. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Ew. Why would I want to do that? I'd rather sleep with my Bubba.

5. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart immediately. Where are you gonna go?

How long could I stay in the destination? If this was just for a short getaway I'd probably say San Francisco. I could sorely use a big fat injection of that city's energy right now.

6. Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of.

(Image stolen from Just a Jeep Guy)

One of those TMI memes going around that I actually feel like answering…

1. How would you like to die? How don't you want to die?

Other than the "peacefully in my sleep" thing, I would have to say the next best way would be while under anesthesia.

The list of ways I don't want to die is more extensive (and almost stolen verbatim from Erik): burning, drowning, choking, chemically dissolving, being impaled, squished, shot, or disemboweled.

2. Do you want to go before or after your spouse?

Due to our age difference, in all likelihood I will be exiting stage right many years before Ben. Ignoring the fact I've had health issues that my dad never had to face and I follow his lead and live a relatively healthly life well into my 80s, Ben will always be twenty five years my junior and have the age advantage. But after a little medical scare we had last week, I realize that Ben could just as easily precede me for any number of stupid reasons. I try not to think about that because I've already buried one partner and don't want to ever have to do that again.

All the more reason to focus on the time we have together now and not worry about what may or may not happen tomorrow.

But in a hypothetical world where I actually have a choice, like Erik said, I'll go with door #3: the Beetlejuice route where Ben and I both go at the same time. (Which pretty much precludes going peacefully during sleep or while under anesthesia.)

3. Have you planned your wake or funeral?

Anything in writing? No, but I have mentioned to friends and family I would like my body to be cremated and the ashes scattered in San Francisco and/or Sabino Canyon, north of Tucson.

4. How do you want your body laid to rest?

See #3 above.

5. What do you think happens to you after you die?

The atheist in my says it's simply "lights out" (like under anesthesia), but there's still a small, irrational part of me who wants to believe that there is something more to us than our physicality—and that somehow continues on in some form after the breathing and brain activity ends—hopefully to return again in some new intelligence. But even if the energy that powered me simply dissipates into the universe, that's fine too.

When going through my cancer treatments (nearly) ten years ago, believe me these themes were on my mind a lot, and I came to the conclusion that since there's no way of knowing for sure, why dwell on it? If you simply blink out when you die, you'll have no awareness of it, and if there's something more it will probably be so far removed from what we've been told to believe that it will be incredible. The only thing I can honestly reject out of hand is the bullshit that's been foisted upon us by organized religion.

Bonus: If you died today but could be frozen and brought back in 100 years, would you?

Oh hell no. Why? Two words: Culture Shock. Can you imagine someone who died in 1900 being brought into the 21st Century?

• What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

John Davis and the Monster Orchestra: Love Magic.

• What is the single best decision you have made in your life?

Accepting Ben's initial invitation to meet in person over coffee.

• How can I win your heart?

You can't. It's already occupied. (See above.)

• What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

I'm not planning on having a tombstone. I want my ashes scattered.

• If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I only get one? That's not fair!

• Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I've had a lot of unexplainable things happen during the course of my life. When I was in high school, we lived in a new, never-before-occupied house that I swear must have been built over an Indian Burial Site. Many times we'd all be downstairs and doors would slam upstairs—with all the windows in the house closed. Later, when I was away at college my mom would often sleep downstairs in my room because of my dad's snoring. That stopped the one night the bed started shaking. More recently, I was working on the deserted fifth floor of Phoenix Memorial Hospital in a room that had been created for the unboxing and prepping of new computers. The door was closed, and I was happily absorbed in my work when I heard a loud knock at the door.  I opened the door and no one was there. I looked out at the length of the hall. Not a soul in sight (and no one could've run away between the time I heard the knock and when I answered the door). It was shortly after that I learned the floor had at one point been the psych ward and that one of the patients had hanged himself there. Since that point the floor had a "reputation" for being haunted. Ghosts? I don't know. I prefer the term, "Unexplained Phenomenon."

As far as aliens are concerned, I believe there is definitely life—intelligent and Republican otherwise—out there; I just don't believe they would travel tens or hundreds of light years to come here unless it was to simply observe a dominant planetary species gone insane.

• Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Air. And Air.

• Smell the air. What do you smell?

Desperation.

• What's the worst place you have ever been to?

The inside of a church. ANY church. Absolutely makes my skin crawl. Of course I have the same reaction when entering a WalMart or just about any airport after the TSA was formed.

• Choose East Coast or West Coast?

I'm definitely a West Coast boy!

• Who is your current celebrity crush?

This guy.

• Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Duh.

• How do you vent your anger?

Is this your first time at my blog?

• Do you have a collection of anything?

Vinyl records.

• Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Neither.

• What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate: it's a toss-up between screaming children and my work phone. (The similarity is not unnoticed.)
Love: the surf.

 

Another meme. That famous tool used by bloggers the world over when they've got nothing else worth posting.

I got a list of a hundred questions from somewhere. That's way too much to tackle in a single post and some of them I just flat out refuse to answer (last four of my social security number, mother's maiden name—Seriously?), but I'll try to post a few every couple days until I get bored or make it through the list. I'm not tagging anyone, but feel free to play along.

• If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Driving somewhere, most likely to or from work.

• Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

• Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Fleetwood Mac from the mid-to-late 70s. They could do no wrong.

• What was the last lie you told?

Telling one of my users that the reason her Adobe Acrobat was crashing was because there had been an auto-update overnight and she hadn't rebooted since it had been applied. (In my defense, rebooting did solve the problem.)

• Do you believe in karma?

As a strict Atheist, no. But I'd like to think that the ignorant assholes making other people's lives a living hell do eventually get bitch slapped, even if there's no grand design behind it.

Since all the other kids—as well as my Ben—are playing in traffic, I'd might as well rush out into it too…

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?
9 or 10. I was in 4th Grade. It was the first year of formal P.E. classes, and one of the coaches always had facial scruff, eternally hard nipples, and a tuft of chest hair creeping out the collar of his T-shirt. To this day, the chest-hair-out-the-collar thing still elicits spontaneous sideways whiplash whenever I see it.

2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?
Hell no. I'm gay, remember?

3. Who was the first person you came out to?
It was my second college roommate. Immediately thereafter he "came out" by telling me his uncle was Christine Jorgensen. "We don't discuss Uncle George much any more." (I had no reason to doubt him; while I'd heard of her, Christine Jorgensen was by no means a well-known name at the time.)

4. Are you out to your family?
Yes.

5. Do you want children?
Not at my age, no. If you'd asked me twenty years ago I might've answered differently. "The biological imperative," and all that.

6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?
60-40 Gay to Straight.

7. Were you out in school?
Not until college.

8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?
Yes.

9. If your best friend is the same sex, have you ever had sex with them?
Yes.

10. Have you ever done crystal meth?
Not just no, but HELL no!  For the longest time all I attracted into my life were tweekers.

11. Have you ever been in a sling?
No. I think by this point I would've been if I'd had any desire to.

12. Have you ever done a 3-way?
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Fine for casual sex, but it can destroy relationships.

13. Have you ever dressed in drag?
Nope.

14. Would you date a drag queen?
It depends on who they are out of drag.

15. Are you 'fixed in your ways' as it were?
After living in San Francisco for 16 years, I think I've explored just about everything I was even remotely interested in exploring. At this point, I know what works for me and what doesn't. So yeah, I guess the answer to that would be yes.

16. Cher or Bette?
I have 15 songs by Cher in iTunes. I have 100 by Bette.

17. Have you dated someone of a different ethnicity?
Yes.

18. Been to Fire Island?  Saugatuck? Key West?  Ft. Lauderdale?  Palm Springs?
No.  No. No.  No.  Yes.

19. How many Madonna CDs do you own?
What are these "CDs" of which you speak?  14 albums show up in iTunes.

20. Name of your first love?
Dennis.

21. Do you still talk to them?
See #42.

22. Does size matter?
Not at all.

23. Biggest turn on?
Enthusiasm and gusto. As for specific physical attributes, I think you can get that from the pictures I post.

24. Biggest turn off?
Willful ignorance and attitude.

25. Ever been harassed due to your orientation?
Not unless you count someone yelling from a passing vehicle, "Go back to the Castro!" as a boyfriend and I were walking hand-in-hand down Union Street in SF.

26. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you?
I have the required black and white photo of a dead female movie star in the apartment. Other than that, you'll have to ask someone else. My friends describe me as "the straightest gay man they know." Whatever that means.

27. Ever been to a pride rally?
Yes, but I lost all interest after attending my fifth or sixth.  I mean, how many half-naked men can you photograph?

28. Would you marry if you could?
Hell yes.

29. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?
Rich and smart. Youth and beauty can be bought, starting at about $150 an hour…

30. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?
Sculpt, no. Trim, yes. When gentlemen reach a certain age, they have to. Otherwise they end up looking like Andy Rooney.

31. Do you trim your body hair?
No.

32. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?
I lived in San Francisco for 16 years. Nuff said.

33. Ever been to an orgy?
Does a sex club count?

34. Which character in "The Women" best reflects you?
I think I've reflected all of them at one time or another.

35. Favorite gay expression ?
"Oh puleeze!"

36. How many "exes" do you have?
Depending on the definition, I would say three.

37. Do you believe in fairies? 
I lived in San Francisco for 16 years. Nuff said.

38. Do you have any tattoos?
Yes.

39. Do you have any piercings?
Not any more.

40. Would you date a smoker?
It's a vile habit, but undeniably sexy (at least in photographs). That said, I've dated smokers, but probably wouldn't do it again.

41. If you are male, do you know many lesbians?
Over the years, several have come and gone from my life. Loved them all. Hated their drama.

42. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?
Far too many.

43. Are you part of a gay organization?
No.

44. Is your gym cruisy?
What is this "gym" thing of which you speak?

45. Grinder or Scruff?
Meat Market Mentality at its worst.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?
I have beautiful memories of years past that will never be matched, but I have to believe the best is still to come. Otherwise, why go on?

47. Got Porn?
You've been to my website, right?

48. Make out music?
I'm weird that way. No music required.

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy?
In high school, yes. It seemed I was crushing on someone different every year. But since that time, no—although verily I have lusted in my heart.

50. Did you ever have sex with him?
No.

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Too many times to count. I had the tan and the legs to prove it (you had to traverse a 150-foot vertical trail to get there). Good times, indeed.

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?
Bath house, no. Sex Club? See #33.

53. Ever had sex in public?
Yes.

54. What gay gene did you miss out?
Shopping.

Post a picture of every place you've lived, in chronological order.