From Greg Fallis:
Republican Friend: I've been a moderate Republican all my life. I voted for Trump last time, but I didn't think he'd actually win. I can't bring myself to vote for him this time.
Me: Great. Glad to hear it.
RF: Don't be too glad. I'm not voting for Biden either.
Me: Those are the only choices. Trump or Biden.
RF: I'm voting for Jo Jorgensen.
Me: Who?
RF: Jo Jorgensen.
Me: Who is Jo Jorgensen when she's at home?
RF: She's the Libertarian candidate.
Me: So you're voting for Trump.
RF: No, I'm voting for Jorgensen.
Me: Same thing.
RF: No, it's not. I'm voting my conscience.
Me: Bullshit. You're dodging your conscience.
RF: No, I'm not. I said I can't bring myself to vote for…
Me: Yeah, I know what you said. And I know what you meant. You mean you don't want to feel any responsibility if Trump is re-elected.
RF: No, that's not it.
Me: Bullshit. That's exactly it. You don't want to vote for Trump, but you're not going to do anything to prevent him from being re-elected. You're more concerned with soothing your conscience than with protecting the Constitution.
RF: That's not true. Biden won't fix the nation's prob…
Me: Does Jo Jorgensen have a popcorn fart's chance of winning?
RF: No, but that's not the point. The point is…
Me: Fuck your point. This is a toggle election. The choices are truly binary. Yes or no. Up or down. On or off. Biden or Trump. Those are the only choices.
RF: I have to vote my conscience.
Me: Fuck you and fuck your conscience. You're a coward.
RF: I'm not a…
Me: You're dodging all personal responsibility to act for the good of the nation. It's no different than saying you oppose the pandemic but won't wear a mask. Fuck you.
RF: It's not like that at all.
Me: Did I just say 'Fuck you'? I believe I did. Fuck you again.
RF: Are you angry with me?
Me: Shut up. Go away. Fuck you and everybody you know, you fucking coward.
RF: I understand you're upset.
RF: Hello?
Former Republican Friend: Hello?
*HAS fucked his wife.
