Category: FUCK TRUMP

no, seriously. fuck you, Google Maps. fuck all the way off. start fucking off over here, and then just fuck yourself all the way to over there — and then keep on going, until you’ve fucked yourself right to the very edge of the universe.

and when you get there, eat the yummy bowl of fuck that’s waiting for you.

if those previous two sentences seem familiar to you, that’s because it’s how I opened my July 20, 2025 post, ‘CBS can pretty much fuck all the way off.’ I then used it a second time, in my September 18, 2025 post, ‘ABC can pretty much fuck all the way off.’ 

and now I’m using it a third time, because, in fact, it’s now Google Maps’ turn to pretty much fuck all the way off.

Google Maps has changed the name of Lake Ontario to “Lake America” for U.S. users to reflect President Donald Trump’s executive order renaming the lake, according to ​a Google statement.

that’s right, Google is the latest den of corporate shitweasels to kowtow to the childish whims of Preznit Fuckwit. if you’re in the US and you type ‘Lake Ontario’ into Google Maps, what you’ll get instead is ‘Lake America.’

it’s so fucking embarrassing. the Mad King has commanded that all his royal subjects are forever forbidden from acknowledging that anything named Ontario exists, all because Ontario Premier Doug Ford had the temerity to suggest that Donny might ought to kiss his ass.

how immature can one person be? you’re eighty years old, Donny, it’s time to grow the fuck up.

Google wants to you believe they had no choice in the matter but to comply.‘boo hoo hoo, pity us’ they blubbered. ‘we get our mapping data from the government. we have no control over that shit.’

“Since we update Google Maps to reflect name changes in ​official government sources, which is GNIS for the U.S., people using Maps in the U.S. will see ‘Lake America,” Google said in a blog post ​Saturday.

that’s a stinky pile of horse manure. the truth is that Google was so horny to appease Dear Leader that they didn’t even wait for the government to update its official maps. they went ahead and swiftly implemented their own change.

Google was even quicker to switch over to Lake America than the US government. While the GNIS database acknowledges the name change in a summary report, the base map layer still reflects the internationally recognized name of Lake Ontario. A message across the top of the USGS-operated website notes that the change to official maps is still pending.

cool story, Google, about how you had no choice in the matter. tell it again.

what Google Maps should have done, was nothing.

let me remind you, Donny’s infantile royal decree came in the form of an executive order. it can not be overstated that executive orders are not laws. only federal employees of the executive branch are required to abide by them. private citizens don’t have to do shit. corporations don’t have to do shit.

remember ‘don’t obey in advance’? that was historian Timothy Snyder’s sage advice, after Donny somehow managed to slither his way back into power.

“Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given. In times like these, individuals think ahead about what a more repressive government will want, and then offer themselves without being asked. A citizen who adapts in this way is teaching power what it can do.”

obeying in advance is how fascism wins.

the answer to every one of Donny’s childish pronouncements should eternally be, ‘fuck you, make me.’

be this guy.

we don’t need any more corporations rolling over and doing whatever Donny demands.

what we need are heroes.

here’s what I wrote last year, after CBS appeased Dear Leader by canceling the Stephen Colbert’s show. let’s just replace ‘CBS and Paramount’ with ‘Google.’

Google Maps and Google are being cowards — and we don’t need any cowards right now. we’re all stocked up with cowards. we’ve got cowards up the yin-yang.

heroes, that’s what we’re in desperate need of.

no one ever went to bed with fascism and came up smelling like roses.

no one ever said gee, I’m so glad that faceless corporation collaborated with fascists.

fascist regimes come, and fascist regimes go. when this current nightmare finally runs its course, no one is going to say ‘wasn’t it awesome how Google slobbered all over Dear Leader’s shoes?’

the people we’re going to look back on with admiration will be the ones who stood up said ‘take your fascist bullshit and stick it where the sun don’t shine.’

but of course, the real issue here is that Google wants fascism to win.

why? data centers, that’s why.

Big Tech needs more and more data centers, to feed the insatiable and ever-growing need for power to run their janky, six-fingered plagiarism robots.

the thing is, data centers totally fucking suck, and voters hate them. no one wants to live next to one — nobody, not Republicans, not Democrats. it’s a true bipartisan issue.

they’re huge. they’re ugly. they’re oppressively noisy. they pollute. they jack up everyone’s electric bills sky high, and destroy property values. if one of these abominations goes up in your neighborhood, it’s game over, man.

data centers have become such political liability that even Texas’s razor-wire-booby-trap-loving psychopath governor, Greg Abbott, is now pretending to be against them.

despite massive opposition to all of Big Tech’s fuckery, there’s one stupid shit who loves him some data centers and doesn’t mind saying so — and of course you know who it is: Donny. he somehow manages to be on the wrong side of every issue.

The only reason that communities throughout the U.S.A. should not want Data Centers is if they want to end up being backwards and poor. If they want to be successful and rich, with far lower taxes and jobs all over the place, let Data Reign. The good news is that there are plenty of other places that want them. If we kill the Golden Goose, you will only have yourselves to blame. China could not be happier with this anti Data Center movement. Actually, they can’t believe it is happening! President DJT

that’s right — if you object to having your quality of life destroyed by a data center, it’s because you’re a fucking loser who’s backwards and poor. what the fuck is wrong with you?

the thing is, Donny’s too demented to actually understand the issue, and too sociopathically unfeeling to give a shit about what the poor schmucks who have to live next to one of these infernal things have to endure.

all he knows is that tech companies like Google are lining up to bribe him into letting them do whatever the fuck they want.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Big Tech companies have spent at least $653 million cozying up to President Donald Trump and Republicans in Congress, according to a new report from Public Citizen. This funding is part of a deliberate effort by tech CEOs to ingratiate themselves with the Trump administration by heaping excessive praise on the president while going along with his unpopular and authoritarian policies.

oh, and Donny and his felonious sons have a personal stake in the success of data centers, because of course they do.

Just weeks after their father announced a major push to expand the country’s artificial intelligence infrastructure and loosen regulations on the industry, Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump invested in a new company aiming to build data centers “to address the growing demand for high-performance computing infrastructure.”

these corrupt fucking goniffs have to have their fingers in every pie.

so there you have it. of course Google is going to bend over backwards to accommodate the whims of our easily-bought-off Toddler-in-Chief, and fall all the fuck over themselves in a mad dash to rename Lake Ontario to anything Dear Leader wants.

meanwhile, as always, We the People are cordially invited to go fuck ourselves. if we didn’t want data centers befouling our towns, we should have had the foresight to donate $653 million to Dear Leader.

personally, I like AOC’s solution to the issue of where to build data centers.

PabloReports: “what do you make of Trump saying Americans who oppose data centers are backwards and poor?”

AOC: “I mean, how about we put one in Mar-a-Lago? I love that. let’s put a data center at Mar-a-Lago, and we’ll see how backwards and poor he is in response to that.”

seriously, I’m fucking loving this idea. let’s build a noisy, pollution-belching data center right on that green area, above the tennis courts. let’s see how Donny likes that.

in fact, I’m going to go one better.

yesterday, Donny held another one of his dog-and-pony shows. as usual, he slept though most of it.

you know what? it’s put a data center right in the Oval Bordello.

the ungodly noise will keep the stupid shit awake.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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pour one out for the colicky piss-baby in the Oval Bordello. he’s going through some things right now.

you see, when the inside of one’s head is a decaying rat’s nest of frayed nerve endings, hot-wired to a lizard brain-stem where a cerebral cortex would normally be, one’s ability to respond rationally to the slings and arrows of daily life becomes rather compromised.

which is why, when Ontario Premier Doug Ford suggested that our American president might ought to kiss his ass, Preznit Fuckwit — instead of laughing it off, or ignoring it and getting on with his day, as any normal human being might have done — shat himself raw onto his crappy app.

it’s also why, after Canada announced their own second round of retaliatory 50% tariffs on American goods, Donny failed to pick up the phone and call Canadian PM Carney to work out their differences, as any effective leader would have done. instead, our Doughy Pantload-in-Chief and his weird stalker-slash-diaper-nurse spent an entire morning shit-posting anti-Canada dumbfuckery.

The United States is giving serious consideration to changing the name of Lake Ontario to Lake America in that we don’t expect to be doing much business with Ontario any longer. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP

yeah, let’s do that. let’s rename a body of water. what an awesome idea. that’ll show those moose-hugging hosers we mean business.

Donny no notion of how to defuse a situation. he only knows how to make things worse.

you know, if Donny had spent this much time and expended this much effort into negotiating an actual trade deal with Canada, we’d already have one by now.

but that would have meant doing actual hard work — and Donny doesn’t want to do the hard work. Jon Ossoff had it exactly right: all Donny really wants to do is build his vulgar Epstein Dance Hall, and travel with his beloved Natalie.

here’s the real problem: Donny has no fucking idea how to negotiate. the only language he speaks is bully. everything has to be his way, or there’s no deal at all. that’s not negotiating — that’s just being an asshole.

Canada has figured this shit out, and they — along with Iran — have called Donny’s bluff, told him to go fuck himself, and Donny hasn’t a single clue how to extricate himself from the messes he created.

Canada and Iran have broken what’s let of Donny rotting brain.

you know, this tweet from 2022 might be the truest thing I’ve ever posted to social media.

your reminder that the real culprits in all of this are the producers of The Apprentice, who took a bankrupt imbecile with no impulse control and the attention span of a coked-up squirrel and peddled him to millions of gullible dopes as ThE sMaRtEsT bUsInEsSmAn In ThE uNiVeRsE

fun fact: when Mark Burnett needed a host for the show he was developing, The Apprentice, he first approached actual successful business leaders — people like Jack Welch, Warren Buffett, and Richard Branson — and they all turned him down. they didn’t have time for stupid game-show-host bullshit. they had real businesses to run.

only Donny said yes — because he had run all of his businesses straight into the ground, and he had all the time in the world to hang out in a television studio. 

it also helped that he was a malignant, desperate-for-attention narcissist.

so Burnett plucked Donny off the Big Shitpile of Failure, dusted him off, and for fourteen years, sold America a total bill of goods.

listen up, stupids: Trump the Businessman is a character he played on a TV show. Trump the Actual Human Being is a malevolent moron who failed at every single venture except conning you. that you can’t tell the difference is why America is now a shithole country, thanks a lot.

and, spoiler alert: Donny was shit at being a game how host. he was the same impulsive idiot back then that he is is now. The Apprentice had to be heavily cut-and-pasted to hide the dumbfuck decisions he made, and make him seem rational.

and then there was Donny’s habit of casually blurting out the n-word.

so here we are, two decades later, and this lifelong loser who literally couldn’t sell water in the desert is now running America straight into the ground — all because some heavily-edited game show convinced millions of dumbfucks that this moron-with-a-catchphrase was the answer.

lucky us. it’s so much fun to be living in the bestest-possible timeline.

and now Donny has clownfucked himself — and us — into two major disasters that he has neither the skill-set, temperament, or intellect to solve. 

all he can do is impotently yell and scream and post stupid bullshit onto his crappy app — and there’s nobody around who can successfully edit Donny into being a president who isn’t a complete moron.

lucky us.

oh, and Doug Ford and Rep. Debbie Dingell had the best responses to Donny’s infantile threat to rename Lake Ontario.

now, this seems kind of bad.

A series of firings and feuds initiated by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has left the Army essentially rudderless as it struggles to deal with the threat posed by cheap, deadly drones and missiles that have pounded U.S. bases in the Middle East.

how do you fuck that up?

now, I don’t know shit about running a military, but it seems like you’re going to want some generals around, if you expect to any win the wars you’ve blundered yourself into.

but you know who else doesn’t know shit about running a military? Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, Donny’s Secretary of Death — and that’s the real problem.

Piss-Drunk Pete is what happens when there’s nobody around to heavily edit the shitty hiring decisions of a failed game show host.

it’s bad enough that Pete has squandered the military’s supply of missiles. now he’s squandered our supply of generals. who the fuck allows that to happen?

Pete has a thousand ideas about running the Pentagon, and all of them are wrong — because he’s a high-on-his-own-supply idiot who is in way too far over his head.

any actual savvy businessman would have fired Pete’s ass six weeks into his job, when he butt-texted classified war plans to a reporter. the first time Pete stared yammering about t-levels, any competent leader would have been all ‘fuck outta here with that superstitious mumbo-jumbo,’ and shitcanned him, pronto.

fuck, any competent leader would have never hired him in the first place. Pete owes his whole job to the fact that his boss is an easily-conned dipshit who values looks and loyalty over competence.

this guy isn’t even fit to flip a skateboard up into his own nuts. no, wait — that’s the one thing Pete actually can do.

Dolly Parton has left the building, and what can I say about this genuinely good person that hasn’t already been said by those far more eloquent than I?

It’s hard to imagine many people having a bigger impact than Dolly Parton. Born in a one-room cabin, she earned 11 Grammys and an Emmy, built a business empire, helped millions of kids learn to read, and — as if that wasn’t enough — helped accelerate the research that led to the Moderna COVID vaccine. What a life. Michelle and I are thinking of Dolly’s family and her many, many fans.

so let me just point out my own favorite thing about Dolly.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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