…that an anus can speak.
And if that doesn't convince you…
f
Separated at Birth?
Douchebag
n. fr. "douche", fr. French, fr. Italian "doccia"
1. An object used for vaginal hygeine.
2. An individual who has an over-inflated sense of self worth, compounded by a low level of intellegence, behaving ridiculously in front of colleagues with no sense of how moronic he appears.
3. Mitt Romney
On Becoming One With the Darkness
"After decades of following the twisty course of Conservative arguments and debating friends and colleagues, I know one thing to be true: futilely trying to get Republicans to talk honestly in the 1990s about, say, Bill Clinton amounted to little more than a dress-rehearsal for futilely trying to get Republicans to talk honestly about Bush, Cheney, DeLay, Iraq, 9/11, deficit-exploding tax cuts, climate change, radical banking deregulation, radical environmental deregulation, the assassination of abortion providers, contraception, labor unions, mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds, and couple of dozen other topics I would reel off.
"In other words, it doesn't work: to protect their egos (and, often, their incomes) instead of doing what we teach every child to do—apologize when you are wrong—the Right has collectively jumped past a spiritual event horizon and into a soul-darkness from which there is no return: a darkness in which imps and devils are always patiently waiting to take your hat and coat and make you extremely comfortable on the gentle, downward-sloping road to Hell.
"This darkness comes with a promise and a catch: the promise is, that the Right will never, ever be called to account for the endless lies they have told and endless betrayals they have committed; the catch is that they can never leave, and no matter how repellent their neighbors become and no matter how humiliating and horrifying the lies become, they are obliged to shut up and go along with the program. With this promise comes the terrible, goosestepping power of a mob under harness, but with it also comes a grotesque fragility because to keep the darkness alive the Right has become s confederacy of Mrs. Havishams, rotting away in the gloom.
And to make matters much, much worse, their decaying mansion sits on top of such a massive, leaky stockpile of lie upon lie, betrayal upon betrayal, hypocrisy upon hypocrisy and treason upon treason that the danger of one, stray non-Fox Approved fact accidentally glancing off another non-Fox and sparking off a conflagration is omnipresent.
The entire Conservative enterprise is built on delusion and old dynamite, which is why every clock much forever remain stopped at one minute after Reagan's inauguration, every fact must be smothered under the stasis field of Rush Limbaugh roaring, rage-drunk bluster. It is the sarcophagus of a dead ideology where the walls are now so densely postered and palimpsested with the detritus of Conservatism's lurid, lying history that its denizens cannot find the exit anymore, and its floors are so sticky and pitted with the grue of its savage, tribal, beat-in rituals that no one bothers to even look for the door.
Which is why no deviation can be permitted, no error can be admitted and no apologies can be allowed.
Read the rest here.
If You Believe in This Insanity, By All Means…
Dear Republicans
GOP Translator
Wordles
Gleaned from Facebook, the words most commonly associated with the idiots trying to secure the republican presidential nomination:
Teh St00pid, it BURNS!
"This is not a political war at all. This is not a cultural war. This is a spiritual war. And the Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies would have his sights on: a good, decent, powerful, influential country – the United States of America. If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age? There is no one else to go after other than the United States and that has been the case now for almost two hundred years, once America's preeminence was sown by our great Founding Fathers." ~ Delusional Presidential Hopeful Douchenozzle Rick Santorum
To which I respond:
Shorter Version
A shorter version of the GOP platform:
- On Women: All your uterus are belong to us.
- On Social Security: All of your pensions are belong to us and will be handed to Mitt Romney in tax cuts.
- On Medicare: Phase out, first we will take it from the under 50s and once its gone for them it will be easy to cut it for seniors.
- On Health Care: We have a health care plan – you die.
- On Foreign Policy: Bomb, Bomb Iran
- On the Economy: Its tax cuts all the way down but only for the 1%
- On the Environment: Drill baby, drill.
- On Social Issues: Hate baby, hate.
Did I miss anything?
In What Universe, Michelle?
Quote of the Day
Left at Joe. My. God. in response to this.
"Little Ricky Frothy Mix stamping his widdle teabagger feet, hoping the wingnuts will save his now dead and rotting campaign. What is clearer than clear is this sad pathetic self-hating closet case is gay—very, very, very, very gay. And it scares the froth out of him every waking moment of his hateful little life. Spew all the hate you want Ricky; it won't make those glorious images of all those naked men you dream of go away. Barracade your closet door all you want. It won't change the fact that you are what you fear most, and what you clearly desire most." ~ DaveinSF
Quote of the Day
Stolen verbatim from Bill in Exile. (Sorry Scott, but I couldn't have said this better myself.)
"I have to say that killing women with breast cancer before they might consider abortion sometime in their lives is one way to eliminate a woman's right to choose."
TBogg in a post about the fact that the Susan G. Komen Foundation—the foundation that sponsors The Race for the Cure that pretty much everyone and their mother has, at one time or another, been hit up for a donation, usually by a co-worker—has cut off funding for breast exams to Planned Parenthood because the Komen Foundation senior executives are virulent anti-choicers and want to punish women for having unapproved sexy time.
My mother died of breast cancer in 1987 at the age of 48 and every time I've been approached to sponsor someone participating in The Race for the Cure I've done so, gladly.
Never again.
Instead I've just donated money to Planned Parenthood and I'd urge you to do the same.
You can do so by clicking this link.
And if you do, be sure to give the donation as an Honorary Giving gift in the name of Karen Handel so that she receives a nice card from Planned Parenthood thanking her for the gift made in her name.
Because she's the fuckwit at Komen who decided it was better to let women die of breast cancer than risk giving them the ability to have control over their own bodies.
Here's her info:
Karen Handel
Senior VP of Fail
c/o Susan G. Komen Foundation
P.O. Box 650309
Dallas, TX 75265-0309
I made a donation. Have you?
The Big Fat Chick Stunk, Like Beef…and Candy Depression
This makes more sense than 99.9% of the santorum that spews from this douchenozzle's mouth:
It's the Hypocrisy, Stupid.
I Feel Sorry For Friends and Family…
…who are still stuck in that hellhole. While Colorado has its fair share of whackjobs in office, I don't think any of them have jabbed their finger into the face of the sitting President of the United States.
I mean seriously, Arizona. What is it with your governors? Ev Mecham, Fife Symington, and now this walking liver spot Jan Brewer?
Quote of the Day
Any Questions?
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
Note the date.
Different year, same crap.
What a Cunt
No one is more deserving of the term than Jan Brewer.
Quote of the Day
"Now, you can call this class warfare all you want, but asking a billionaire to pay at least as much as his secretary in taxes? Most Americans would call that common sense." ~ Barack Obama SOTU
Just One of Many Reasons Barney Frank Will Be Missed
Interviewer: You've long argued for the decriminalization of marijuana. Do you smoke weed?
Barney Frank: No.
Interviewer: Why not?
Barney Frank: Why do you ask a question, then act surprised when I give an answer? Do you think I lie to people?
Interviewer: I thought you might explain why you support decriminalizing it but don't smoke it.
Barney Frank: Do you think I've ever had an abortion?
(source)
Copy Layout
For the WIN!
Republican = Hypocrite
Republican Priorities
Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.
Submitted Without Comment
Newt Gingrinch, South Carolina? Really?
Relax, Ricky
It's only a microphone.
Quote of the Day
"I worry that the focus on Gingrich's adultery will distract us from the fact that he's also a racist asshole." ~ Andy Borowitz
Hypocrisy, Thy Name is Republican
And the hits just keep on coming.
From addictinginfo.org:
Georgia Republican Who Wanted Drug Testing For Welfare Recipients Gets DUI
The do as we say, most certainly not as we do party struck again, and this level hypocrisy might just shift the tectonic plates and reveal a whole new world for the rational among us (or whatever is left).
Rep. Kip Smith, the Georgian Republican sponsor of Georgia House Bill 464, which would "require random drug testing" for citizens on public assistance, found himself drunker than Lindsey Lohan (only ugly and with no talent) and apparently was arrested friday morning on a DUI.
From the The Atlanta Journal Constitution:
Smith, whose given name is John Andrew Smith, first told the officer he had not consumed any alcoholic beverages.
"I asked him again, and he stated he had consumed a single beer at Hal's. I noticed also that Mr. Smith's eyes were watery, and I asked him to exit the vehicle, which he did," Kramer said in the report.
Smith told the officer he'd had the beer 45 minutes earlier, and the officer asked him to blow into a hand-held "intoximeter". The officer said the lawmaker refused, stating he would prefer to go to a clinic or the hospital to get tested.
The officer said Smith finally agreed to blow into the device. The report stated that Smith blew a .091., which is above the legal limit of .08.
So it would seem that Drunky McHypocrite should either abdicate his congressional salary or not receive one penny until he completes treatment and is full compliance with all after-care plans. I would suggest requiring mandatory drug-testing for members of Congress, but then there might be a government shutdown due to a lack of quorum.