Category: SO SICK OF TRUMP’S BULLSHIT

Posted on

How. Much. Longer?!

Just push the damn button already, and put us out of this never-ending misery!

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: Biggus Dickus has a wife, you know

where the fuck does Donny find these people?

CNN’s KFILE reveals the man leading the hantavirus response in the U.S. is a specialist in penile implants with little public health experience and hosted a podcast called “Erection Connection.”

wait, what? I understand what all of those words mean, but when you put them together in that order, I’m mystified.

so you’re telling me that the guy Dear Leader picked to deal with a potential hantavirus crisis is a crackpot who doesn’t believe in vaccinesand has no fucking clue how to handle a public health emergency — but if you need a homey to biggify your pantsmonster, he’s your man?

Uncle Tim Walz was right, these people are all weirdos — and not just weirdos, but dick-obsessed weirdos.

need proof? let’s start with Donny’s former Acting Attorney General and current US Representative to NATO. dude sold toilets specially engineered for super-endowed bros who were tired of having their massive wieners go plunking in the water when they sat down to do their business.

then there’s Dear Leader himself, who can’t stop waxing rhapsodic about the enormity of Arnold Palmer’s 9-iron.

Lady Space Laser was absolutely smitten with Hunter Biden’s freakishly ginormous trouser trout.

don’t even get me started on six-time international lap-hockey champion Handy Oakley.

and if you want to get penis-adjacent, there’s always roasted ball-sack aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, who believes that microwaving the family jewels is the True Way Forward.

these freaks and oddballs need to all get a grip. no, wait — what am I saying?

MAGA, when it comes to your weens, don’t get a grip. keep your fucking hands where I can see them.

tuesday: just a perfectly normal dude, doing perfectly normal stuff

the morbidly wealthy, they’re so relatable, am I right?

the Space Nazi was part of the gaggle of gazillionaires who accompanied Donny to China this week, and — well, who among us hasn’t been at a state dinner at the exact moment the ketamine kicks in?

what the fuck was that? we need to gif that shit, pronto.

now, I’ve never experienced the wonders of ketamine, so can someone please tell me — does it affect your gait?


why does the Space Nazi jerk his right arm like that? what the fuck is he staring at up on the ceiling?

again, another prime giffable moment.

if I had a trillion dollars, I’d def hire someone to give me walking lessons.

I’ll say this about the Chinese — at least they had the good sense to keep the silverware out of harm’s way.

wednesday: shut the fuck up

stand back, everyone. Fox News found object Jesse Watters has been doing his own research.

“I did some research on ‘the blacks.’ blacks, for 150 years, have only represented 10% to 15% of the American population. okay? that’s not that much. so if they wanna have more seats, they gotta get in between the sheets.”

how awesome. in one short soundbite, Jesse manages to be racist, paternalistic, condescending and crude. he’s won the Fucknut Quadfecta.

Republicans have spent the last two weeks working overtime to disenfranchise black voters by gerrymandering their districts out of existence — and this is the smirking buffoon’s sage advice? to get busy fuckin’?

they say that a gif is worth a thousand words, so here you go, Jesse, this one’s for you.

thursday: verily, she doth spew bullshit unto you

oh look, it’s transdimensional-traveler-obsessed goofus and noted biblical scholar An Appalling Lunatic, here to give us an extremely fucked-up lesson in religion.

Anna Paulina Luna: “and so it’s interesting because you have, you know, the evolution of the King James Bible, as we all know that story. he wanted to get remarried, they re-wrote it. it’s what happened.”

Representative Lunatic is so fucking dumb, and all simpering meathead Joe Rogan can do is sit there with a stupid grin on his face and go ‘right,’ because he’s as big an ignoramus as Appalling Ann.

King James didn’t want to get remarried. that’s not what the King James Version of the Bible is all about. the British king who wanted to get remarried was Henry VIII, the jamoke famous for prancing about with a haunch of meat in each fist.

and Eighth Hank didn’t rewrite any Bible. what he did was he form the Church of England and put himself in charge of it, so he could get busy offing an endless series of spouses. remember, the merry fucking wives of Windsor?

(don’t even ask me what this is all about. I googled ‘merry wives of windsor gif’ and google gave me Batman. hey, everyone — I’m as good as doing my own research as Jesse Watters!)

but I digress. here’s my point:

it must be nice to be a wingnut and go on podcasts like Meathead Rogan’s and just be eternally wrong from dawn until dusk — because none of these shitwits knows dick about anything, and no one ever corrects you.

it’s a fucking oroboros of stupid.

oh look, you actually get something useful if you google ‘oroboros gif.’

friday: the further adventures of Some Fucking Idiot™

on Friday, some fucking idiot made exactly two public appearances. the first was when he deigned to talk to reporters aboard Fuckface Force One as it flew home from Beijing.

math, how does it even work?

what is the fucking idiot even saying? it’s just meaningless gibberish.

oh, and speaking of gibberish—

the fucking idiot is so monumentally stupid. someone told him that Dem candidate James Talerico identifies as ‘cisgender’ and the fucking idiot heard it as ‘six genders,’ and now he repeats it all day long.

and no press appearance would be complete without the fucking idiot accusing a reporter of treason.

the fucking idiot’s second appearance was in a pre-taped interview with Bret Baier, where he threw yet another of our close allies under the bus.

how wonderful. the fucking idiot has one meeting in China, where he’s too dumb to realize he’s being disrespected by Xi — and now, all of a sudden, Taiwan needs to ‘cool it a little bit.’

he’s such an easily-played moron.

then, to top it all off, the fucking idiot doubled down on his dumb-ass statement that he ‘doesn’t think about Americans’ financial situation.’

yeah, keep on reminding voters that you couldn’t give less of a shit about them. let’s see how that works out for you in the midterms.

and, despite all the dumbfuckery going on right in front of their faces, neither Bret Baier nor any of the reporters aboard Fuckface Force One stood up to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

1 Comments

Posted on

Please Boost

As the fascist Trump administration shuts down suicide hotlines in the US Canada has broadcast their national hotline which now has a toll-free American version: 1-877-330-6366.

Please boost.

Posted on

The Orange Felon Shits The Bed And Republicans Roll Around In It

From Jeff Tiedrich:

the entire world was rightly horrified when Donny Convict and Couchfuck McGee ambushed and gang-assaulted Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House on live TV.

leaders rushed to put out statements. Justin Trudeau was unequivocal: “Russia illegally and unjustifiably invaded Ukraine.” check out our boy Emmanuel Macron: “there is an aggressor: Russia. there is a victim: Ukraine.” here’s Germany’s Friedrich Merz: “we stand with #Ukraine in good and in testing times. we must never confuse aggressor and victim in this terrible war.”

Republicans, however, apparently live in some shit-show alternate reality where up is down, black is white, and stabbing our allies in the back is some supreme act of statesmanship.

the chittering squirrels on Fox & Friends were actually ready to hand Dear Leader a Nobel Peace Prize.

I shit you not.

“this was about peace, ultimately. there’s a lot of drama and we can break down everybody’s feelings, but in the end, I think what’s remarkable is that we have a president who’s willing to do anything to bring about world peace. man, if he doesn’t get the Nobel Peace Prize, that thing means nothing.”

pro tip for Fox News: it’s called the Nobel Peace Prize, not the George Orwell War is Peace Prize. they don’t hand it out to reckless fuckfaces who betray our allies.

now let’s talk about that spineless little weasel, Marco Rubio. check out the look on his face as he witnesses a foreign policy disaster taking place. he knows what he’s watching.

he’s fucking appalled. he’s trying to Homer Simpson himself into that couch.

any Secretary of State with an ounce of self-respect would have resigned in protest after that debacle. but not Liddle Marco. the very first thing he did was to log onto Elon’s Nazi Bar and slobber all over Dear Leader’s ass.

“Thank you @POTUS for standing up for America in a way that no President has ever had the courage to do before. Thank you for putting America First. America is with you!”

Jesus H. Christ, Marco. obsequious much? were they holding your family hostage, and forcing you to tweet that? blink twice if you’re okay, bro.

Marco’s next move was to go on CNN and demand that Zelensky apologize to Donny, because — get this — “Trump is a great businessman and knows how to get deals done.”

free clue for Marco Rubio: “great businessman” is a character Donny played on a game show. in real life, Donny is an incompetent stumblefuck who went broke running casinos.

so, what was Zelensky’s unforgivable crime, according to Team Donny?

this: he wasn’t thankful enough. the ingrate, after all we’ve done for him!

CNN responded by showing Rubio clips of the many, many times Zelensky has thanked the United States for their support.

Rubio countered with well, he hasn’t said it today.

oh, please. Zelensky isn’t a member of Donny’s cabinet. he isn’t required to take part in the humiliating ritual where everyone goes around the table and thanks God for Dear Leader’s very existence.

and excuse me, but what the fuck should Zelensky be thanking Donny for? Donny’s done jack shit for Ukraine. Donny has sided with Russia every step of the way. and we all seem to have forgotten that Donny got impeached for trying to extort Zelensky by threatening to hold up arms shipments until Ukraine announced a fake investigation into Joe Biden. thanks, Donny. thank you so much. you’re amazing. we’re all in your debt.

I know I keep saying this, but it will never stop being true: every Democrat who voted to confirm Rubio because he seemed like the most-normal of Donny’s sewer clowns can go fuck themselves forever.

here’s another profile in courage: professional pearl-clutcher Lindsey Graham. look at Mister Excitable, he’s worked himself into a ginormous fucking hissy.

“somebody asked me, am I embarrassed about Trump? I have never been more proud of the President. I was very proud of JD Vance standing up for our country. we want to be helpful. what I saw in the Oval Office was disrespectful, and I don’t know if we can ever do business with Zelensky again. I think most Americans saw a guy that they don’t want to go into business with.”

good lord, the kompromat they have on Old Linz must be stunning. I’ll bet it would melt your eyeballs.

by the way, I’m not the only one saying Rubio should resign.

fuck you, Marco Rubio, for putting me on the same side of an issue as John Bolton.

meanwhile, here’s some fallout from Donny’s Ukraine backstabbery.

One of Norway’s largest marine fuel companies just announced that they will no longer refuel US Navy vessels after Trump’s treatment of Zelenskyy. “It made us sick… We encourage all Norwegians and Europeans to follow our example.”

oh, great. we’re a world pariah now. ace job, Donny. what a good boy you are. maybe you should reward yourself with some golf.

oops, looks like Donny’s way ahead of me. the lazy fuck is already down at Motel-a-Lago this weekend, driving his golf cart right up onto the green.

here are your heroes of the day: the good people of Waitsfield, Vermont.

the New York Post is having a Big Sad right now because Couchfuck McGee’s weekend ski vacation isn’t going as planned.

Vice President JD Vance was met with hundreds of pro-Ukraine protesters while visiting a Vermont ski resort on Saturday, following his public dust up with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House.

Vance and his family, on a trip to Sugarbush Resort, were greeted by the outraged protesters lining the snow-covered streets of the small Vermont town of Waitsfield.

Protestors displayed signs that labeled Vance a “national disgrace,” accused him of being a “traitor” and encouraged the family to “go ski in Russia.”

The vice president planned on staying at a four-star inn near the resort — but scrapped those plans and moved to an undisclosed location after seeing the intensity of the protesters.

boo fucking hoo.

fuck around, find out. it’s what’s for breakfast.