It’s been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Right now, I’d say that it’s stepping into a new day and expecting Republicans not to do something horrible.

It happens to all of us.

We wake up in the morning, eventually check our phones or turn on the news, and are greeted by some new abomination: an unprecedented legislative assault on a central pillar of our Republic, the dismantling of long-established civil rights, a heartbreaking act of violence against the most vulnerable among us.

We encounter a legion of novel nightmares authored by the same people whose brutality from the previous day we’ve not yet recovered from, and we are somehow surprised.

Despite a decade of their daily atrocities, despite their prolific portfolio of inhumanity, despite their seemingly inexhaustible disregard for legal and moral law, their malevolence never fails to rattle our nervous systems and boggle our minds anew.

Each day, a sickening sense of deja vu sets in as we find ourselves freshly outraged, as if these moral abominations are out of character for these people, as if they might have reached their capacity for cruelty overnight, as if they’d suddenly had their sociopathy satiated and will magically relent.

Good people, we need to stop doing this.

This is who they have been; it is who they are. There is no moment of clarity coming, no soul awakening, no tearful repentance. They’ve long passed that possibility. To still be tethered to something as monstrous as this man and his movement is to have permanently abandoned the fundamental humanity required to feel empathy or possess self-awareness. We need to stop wasting time hoping his supporters will suddenly call upon their better angels, as they killed those off long ago.

Yesterday, a distraught member of our online community said over Zoom, “No matter what we do, no matter how much we fight, it seems like nothing gets better. Every day, things are worse.” I think she was hoping I would disagree with her.

I assured her that this wasn’t going to change anytime soon, because the people in power have no current external or internal obstacles in their path. They are not ethically bound by the Constitution and possess no regard for the rule of Law. They have commandeered the highest court in our nation and hold zero compunctions about violating the inalienable rights of other human beings.

They also realize that their time is incredibly short, despite appearances to the contrary. They’ve been paying attention to the elections over the last 16 months, and they know the public sentiment against them is rising swiftly. They live with the Sword of Damocles hovering overhead: the unforced errors of a sexual scandal that will not go away, a costly, unwinnable war, and an economy they have singlehandedly driven to life support.

There is no way back; there is only the way down. All they have left is destruction.

Right now, Americans need to make peace with the fact that the news is going to continue to be bad. We are going to witness an ever more desperate and violent descent into the depths of the malevolence human beings are capable of. These people are going to wake up every day, as in this one, singularly driven to damage as many people as possible as quickly as they can, and we should prepare ourselves by not being pulled into disbelief as they do.

We cannot waste a single second being shocked by their depravity, or hoping they will tire of violence, or expecting them to be anything other than who they have shown us they are.

Instead, our energy should be better spent keeping our heads down and getting on with the work before us, of building a broad coalition of resistance, of taking our stands where we can, of leveraging our economic power, of caring for those being targeted, and creating a compassionate community that curates decency and love for neighbor.

We need to stop being surprised by Republicans’ inhumanity and to go about the work of being human.

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On The Occasion Of What Would’ve Been His 60th Birthday

In Memoriam

Jeffrey Laughlin
1966-2011

I met Jeffrey in 1999, shortly after I’d started working at PG&E Energy Services (PG&E Corp’s answer to Enron, the unregulated energy experiment) in San Francisco.

Surprisingly, there weren’t that many out gay men working for the company, so Jeffrey and I immediately gravitated toward each other. Never mind that the boy was cute and smart and sexy as fuck. But nothing more than a friendship—despite the mutual attraction—developed because Jeffrey was hopelessly devoted to his long-term boyfriend, Leroy. Even when said boyfriend was found caught cheating on numerous occasions, Jeffrey (stupidly, IMHO) stood firmly by his side.

Like myself, Jeffrey was an inveterate techie. We were always discussing the latest hardware and software trends. He was very above board on software licensing issues, while I was more…flexible. He always purchased his software. I, on the other hand “obtained” a lot of it. (One of the perks of being in the business, I suppose.)  One day I finally convinced him to come over to the Dark Side by providing him something that he wanted but was otherwise unobtainable.

Even after PG&EES finally followed ENRON into the dustbin of history, and we went to different jobs, we still both worked downtown and managed to meet up for lunch several times a week. At his new place of employment, Jeffrey discovered the Mac and became an immediate convert, putting an end to all his Windows-based Dark Side adventures. (Just as I was forced to go legit once I joined the Church of Steve Jobs.)

Shortly after I’d returned to Phoenix in 2002, Jeffrey finally had enough of Leroy’s dalliances and they parted company. A little over a year later he told me he’d decided to move back to Texas and start his own business.

In 2004, we met up briefly as he was passing through Phoenix on his way to McKinney. This would be the last time I’d ever see him.

We exchanged a few more emails as he got resettled, but then life intervened and I lost touch. When I attempted to re-establish contact, none of his email addresses were active, and I had no phone number or old school physical address by which to contact him.

Over the years, I’d run cursory internet searches hoping to find him, but with such a relatively common name, I came up empty handed.

That is, until about 8 years ago.

And I almost wish I hadn’t. “Ignorance is bliss,” as they say.

Jeffrey died in 2011. No cause was given in the obituary, so I have no idea if it was AIDS, cancer, or some horrific accident. If he was HIV positive or otherwise sick, he never mentioned it. All I know is that yet another little hole opened in my life with that news and it will never truly be filled.

I’m glad I had the chance to know him.

Jeffrey Laughlin 1966-2011

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As A Lifelong Fan of FLW (And His Progeny), I Could Most Certainly Live There

Located in West Hollywood the Olga & Llloyd Wright House & Studio designed by Lloyd Wright (Frank Lloyd Wright’s eldest son) in 1926. Designed in the Mayan Revival style the home is a signature example of Lloyd Wright’s architectural vocabulary, blending Art Deco with pre‑Columbian motifs. The home was added to the US National Register of Historic Places in 1987 and was restored by Lloyd Wright’s son architect Eric Lloyd Wright in the 1990’s.

[source]

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In 1974…

In 1974, John Waters’ **Female Trouble** was a blistering satire on American celebrity culture. As Dawn Davenport’s fall from a Christmas lunatic to a criminal celebrity, the film used Divine’s gender-bending performance to explore and subvert traditional conceptions of the family and sex roles. It helped to define the “Dreamlanders” style, which combined street realism in Baltimore with melodramatic camp.

For the mainstream audience of 1974, the film was largely treated as an assault on public decency. Though it found a rabid audience in the “midnight movie” culture with other avant-garde classics, established audiences and critics often reacted to it with both visceral disgust and cynical bewilderment. It was often dismissed as “amateurish” or “vile” by the critical establishment, which had trouble understanding Waters’ irony. This however functioned as an ironic achievement for the film, and eventually led to the film’s evolution from a shunned midnight movie to a cult masterpiece of independent cinema.

[source]

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$5000/Month?!? 🫪

WTF happened to my beloved city over the past twenty years?

Okay, it’s nice, but $5K a month?!

When I left SF in 2002, I was paying $1300 for a very nice 60s-era one bedroom place on Twin Peaks with a view of downtown, and even that was a stretch financially.

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How Long…

No, not that. Get your minds out of the gutter!

How long have you been visiting Voenix Rising? Are you an old-timer who’s been with me from the beginning (ca. 2005 or thereabouts)—including that horrific period when I lost my mind just after we moved to Denver and I wiped the previous ten years of posts—or are you fairly recent?

How did you find me initially?

Leave a comment. Inquiring minds want to know!

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Ben Is Going Through This Right Now

How a sinister manager slowly pushes you to quit:

Step 1 – I’d get a little cold. Less friendly, less supportive. You notice it but brush it off.

Step 2 – I’d stop noticing your work. No appreciation, no recognition. You’re getting slightly demoralized now.

Step 3 – You’re suddenly not in important meetings anymore. Things move without you. It hurts but whatever, I guess.

Step 4 – Your good work gets taken away. You’re left with random, low-impact tasks. You feel devalued. This feeling ruins your evenings.

Step 5 – You’re told to “do better” but no one tells you what that actually means?!?! This is turning into actual frustration.

Step 6 – Out of nowhere, “performance concerns” come up. You panic. “What am I doing wrong?”

Step 7 – You try to fix things… but the goalpost keeps changing. You just had your first anxiety attack.

Step 8 – They start watching everything you do. Small mistakes become a big deal. You’re constantly walking on eggshells now.

Step 9 – I’d become harder to reach. No guidance, but still judging your work. You’re feeling deflated.

Step 10 – Everything gets written down. Emails, notes, “just documenting.” You know they’re setting you up to fail.

Step 11 – You get put on a Performance Improvement Plan. It looks official, but it doesn’t have clear metrics. You’re angry.

Step 12 – You start hearing lines like “this might not be the right fit.” Subconsciously you’re prepared to leave and never look back.

Step 13 – Your workload gets weird. Either way too much or barely anything. You’ve started making applications elsewhere.

Step 14 – You feel confused all the time. You’re trying harder but it’s not landing. You can’t wait to get out of here.

Step 15 – I’d hint that leaving might be easier. You AGREE. Like, so much easier. Now, if only you had another back-up option.

Step 16 – You’re exhausted and your self-esteem has taken a major hit… and quitting starts to feel like the only way out, with or without a back-up option. You quit. They win.

Bad employers are very good at psychological pressure. As an employment lawyer, I’m trained to spot these patterns early and see what’s coming next. Follow along to learn.

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I’m Such A Geek

It Feels Good To Fix Stuff

As you know, a couple weeks ago I acquired a really nice vintage Yamaha CDX-930 single-disc CD player. It—like most players of the era now do—had some drawer issues. Initially I replaced the drawer belt with a slightly smaller one I had on hand. I kept the old belt “just in case,” listening to that little voice in my head for once.

It turns out using a belt that’s too small is just as bad as using one that’s too loose. This belt also proved problematic, so I set about finding the specific belt for this model, something that was easier said than done. Finally I located one from West Coast Belts (a highly recommended place in the audio repair community) and ordered it.

It arrived last week, and the moment I took it out of the package I knew it wasn’t going to work. Yeah, it was the right diameter, but it was substantially thinner than the original (probably 0.5mm vs. 1.5mm) belt. After cleaning the two pulleys in the unit (something I’d failed to do initially), I went ahead and put it in. As I suspected, it still wasn’t what was needed for proper operation. The drawer opened normally, but it still struggled to close.

I went back online and after a lot of searching, located another supplier—in Portugal, no less—who supposedly had the correct size and thickness of belt I needed. I ordered one. That belt currently seems to be visiting every major European capital before heading across the Atlantic, so I have no idea when it’s going to arrive.

I was thinking about this last night and thought I’d try an old trick often used in the YouTube CD repair videos I’ve watched: placing the original belt in boiling water for 5 minutes and then plunging it immediately into cold water to cause the rubber’s “memory” to return to its original size and shape.

Surprisingly this worked—to a degree. It didn’t return the belt to a perfect circle, but the kink in this 45 year old belt was definitely diminished. Once again I took the unit apart and this time put the “rejuvenated” old belt back in, taking care to locate the remaining “kinked” part of the belt on the large pulley vs. the small motor spindle pulley so that it would have an opportunity to spread out and relax a bit more.

Everything worked perfectly. How long this will last is anyone’s guess—just like they caution in the videos—but at least for now it’s working smoothly, and hopefully the new belt coming from Europe will be the correct configuration.

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