Category: Uncategorized

After his 8th failed rocket attempt, I think it’s safe to say Elon Musk has projectile dysfunction.

My best friend said that dating after 50 is like trying to find the least damaged thing in a thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Me: Those are flies!
Dog: Sky raisins!

Every tech innovation for the last 15 years boils down to ‘let’s make everything shittier and force you to pay a monthly subscription for it.’

I don’t mind getting older but my body is having a hissy fit about it.

I thought I was a good person, but the way I react when people drive slowly in the left lane would suggest otherwise.

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme.
But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Missouri House unanimously approves bill allowing pregnant women to get a divorce. And yes it’s 2025.

My wife and I decided we don’t want children. It was a difficult decision, but we’re telling them tonight.

I bought a new deodorant today. The instructions said, “Remove cap and push up bottom.” Now I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely!

No one can throw a bigger tantrum than a narcissist who loses control of someone else’s mind.

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

I’m not saying I’m attractive, but when I get naked in the bathroom. I turn the shower on.

My son found me crying in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me and said, “Is it because you’re fat?”
Now I’m crying for two reasons.

Children are the only thing we remove from the human body and then keep.

Her: I have bad news dear. The doctor says we can’t have sex for six weeks.
Him: Hmmmm. Well, what did the dentist say?

I barely talk to anyone. So if I talk to you and you’re not a dog, congrats!

It turns out a ceiling fan will not cut a bagel in half even on high speed. Also, we need a new window.

Marjorie Taylor Greene said she doesn’t want to discuss her vaccination status.
I agree – those conversations are best left between Marjorie and her veterinarian.

When I have to fill out a form asking who to call in case of an emergency, I always write ambulance. Because no one in my family is going to answer a call from an unknown number.

Old age is a thing… last night I was in bed for 20 min when I heard the pizza guy cough.
Then I remembered I came to my room for my wallet.

Today I was struggling to get my wife’s attention.
So, I sat down on the sofa and looked comfortable.
That did the trick.

A narcissist mindset, that didn’t happen, and if it did, it wasn’t that bad, and if it was, it’s not a big deal, and if it is, it’s not my fault and if it was, I didn’t mean it, and if I did, you made me do it.

How can we be sure that the Teslas aren’t setting themselves on fire to avoid the association with Elon Musk?

We’re going to have to color potatoes for Easter this year.

Every news agency reported that the capsule landed in the Gulf of Mexico and I’m sure the most petty man in the universe was fuming.

Donald Trump is trying to shutter the Department of Education, which will make it very difficult for students to know the last time America was grate.

When our lawn mower broke my wife kept nagging me to get it fixed. But, I always had something else to take care of. Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point. I found her seated in the tall, unmowed grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.” The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Doggies…
Dinner 5 minutes late?
Feeling under-petted?
Treats split in half?
YOU HAVE RIGHTS!
Call me – Koda, attorney at paw
I’ll bark for you!
(800) RUF-LIFE

I want to live long enough to witness America’s version of the Nuremberg trials.

I’ve renamed the body of water in my toilet “The Gulf of Trump” and anything floating in it a “Musk”.

If you believe that teaching about god in public schools will improve people’s morality, you first need to explain why it doesn’t work in a church.

I will never understand how they were more upset about a Super Bowl halftime show than Elon Musk stealing our social security numbers.

A naked man broke into a church.
The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

Since I started getting back into portable CD players last year (and more recently MiniDiscs) I’ve also gotten back into wired headphones. I’ve been so out of that scene for so long I really had no idea where to start, but based on a whole lot of online recommendations, I went with Grado. Yeah, even though there was absolutely no isolation from outside noise they sounded great. They looked funky. The one problem was the comfort. After only a couple months’ use the supplied foam ear pads just became uncomfortable. I tried several other variations, including an absolutely ridiculous over-the-ear variety. I finally reached the point that I couldn’t stand to have any of the Grado pads on my ears for more than a few minutes at a time.

That led me back to Sony. The past pair of good wired headphones I owned (if you don’t count that Stax electrostatics that needed a dedicated converter box directly attached to the speaker outputs of an amplifier or receiver) were made by Sony. I couldn’t remember the model number, but I remember them sounding good and despite the fact they too were on/over the ear design, I they were extremely comfortable for extended listening sessions. Not able to track down the specific model I had, I ended up buying their tried-and-true “professional” wired, over-the-ear headphones that they’ve been making forever and have been very happy with them. They were miles ahead of the Grados in terms of comfort and they sounded as good as I remember Sonys sounding.

The only downside was they filled half my messenger bag and came with a non-removable, heavy, coiled cable that made desk side listening less than optimal—especially since it was connected to a tiny device that could easily get pulled off the desk if you weren’t paying attention.

So…last fall I briefly tried a set of pricy,highly-recommended Linsoul “TIN HiFi T4 10mm Carbon Nanotube Dynamic Driver in-Ear Monitor Earphones.” I returned them almost immediately. After coming from the deep, rich bass of the Grados and the Sonys, they sounded tinny in comparison, no matter which ear tips I used.

So back to the Sonys and just paying a bit more attention to what I was doing when I was plugged in.

That’s served me well until a few weeks ago when—once again—I simply couldn’t stand to have them on my ears for more than a few minutes at a time.

I resorted to Amazon reviews again for in-ear buds. I had a couple pairs of Skullcandy buds that were okay for falling asleep with, but sonically they weren’t the greatest. Further searching and reading reviews led me to Thinksound In20 and Vibes 202. I ordered the red Vibes because the color was fun and thoughtthey’d look good paired with my red MZ-R900 MiniDisc player. I mean, something fun like that never could really sound good could it? Especially at only $40.

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting much from either one by this point, but I figured the overall winner would be the Thinksounds since they were twice the price of the Vibes.

Boy, was I surprised.

The Vibes (even with the funky “in ear monitor” design and the over-the-ear wire arrangement similar to the Linsols that I so resoundingly hated) blew the Thinksounds out of the water. I lived with both for a couple days but ultimately ended up sending the Thinksounds back. With the refund money, I bought two more sets of Vibes in different colors…because I’m a big ol’ homo and need to color-coordinate the headphones to whatever device I’d be using.

So I’ve been living with the Vibes now for about two weeks and I’m still surprised at how much I enjoy them. No more pressure on my ears, I can wear them for hours, they’re easily transportable, and have absolutely great bass (finding the proper-sized tips were instrumental in this).

So would I recommend them? Definitely. And for the price, you can’t beat ’em.

JD just might decide to 25th your ass… and I doubt he’d get much pushback.

How did I do?

Tom Nichols, writer for The Atlantic, on The Felon:

“Paradoxically, however, [The Felon]’s reckless venality is a reason for hope. [The Felon] has the soul of a fascist but the mind of a disordered child. He will likely be surrounded by terrible but incompetent people. All of them can be beaten: in court, in Congress, in statehouses around the nation, and in the public arena. America is a federal republic, and the states—at least those in the union that will still care about democracy—have ways to protect their citizens from a rogue president. Nothing is inevitable, and democracy will not fall overnight.”

There will be methods to contain The Felon, even though the GOP will goosestep for Hair Furor every chance they get.

[source]

Does it make sense now?

…but I’d like to believe it is!

The fact that 45 or his minions aren’t screaming bloody murder over it tells me it’s a fake, because if it was they’d be having an epic meltdown.

And yet, here we are…

Trump was triggered by this ad of himself so badly that he instructed his lawyers to send a cease and desist letter to “The Lincoln Project.” Weird!

Lincoln Project: Bring it.