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Some Gems…

“War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.” – Ambrose Bierce

“My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea

“How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.” – Emo Philips

“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire

“All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” – Casey Stengel

“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

“Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” – Benjamin Franklin

“As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein

“Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” – Benny Hill

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.” – Dave Barry

“If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.” – George Burns

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson

“It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.” – Andy Borowitz

“At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers

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I Miss Mine

To be filed under, “Technology I Should Never Have Gotten Rid Of.” Mine was silver, not black, but seeing this brought back so many good memories. It was my first and only iPod. I got rid of it after I got my first iPhone and had the music app built in. But navigating tunes on the iPhone has never been as easy as it was on the iPod, and now it’s an absolute clusterfuck.

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