This week’s Big Distraction from Releasing the Epstein Files is brought to you by the Destruction of the East Wing of the White House. (Sponsored by Meta, Google, and many, many more.)

It appears that the “designated excuse” that was issued to supporters is that “other presidents have also made updates to the White House, especially Obama, (who they breathlessly can’t wait to point out that he installed a basketball court, as if it were a watermelon garden.)

Every argument I’ve seen supporting this demolition has been rife with lies. They equate one renovation with another, like tearing down an entire wing with putting some lines on a basketball court, or spending “millions” to “replace a few pipes,” when in reality, an entire rewiring was needed and authorized, for safety reasons.

Yes, other presidents have made alterations. I’ve seen the list. You can knock off about half of them (pre-Roosevelt) because they go all the way back to George Washington. The White House wasn’t exactly a historical landmark yet; it was just the place they had just built for the president to live.

And yes, Roosevelt made major renovations. But he also obtained the necessary approvals.

As have other presidents who followed. A law was passed in 1971 that established the approvals needed. At this point, the White House is a historical landmark/museum, so there is a process in place to go through before altering it. All preceding renovations have followed the established process. There are at least five different reviews required, including environmental impact, preservation of important relics/materials, and Congressional approval.

TFG has done none of that. He lied about his intentions and sent in the bulldozers. At first, the East Wing wasn’t going to be touched. That changed to they might take a little off the end, but do no major harm. And by now, we can see that that was 100% bullshit, because the East Wing is gone. Just, gone.

I also understand that this wing was built when asbestos was the standard in fireproofing. Tearing it down might well unleash a torrent of cancer and serious breathing problems, because there has been no mitigation of airborne particles at all. The whole building should have been netted off before destruction, but TFG doesn’t believe in environmental safety (just as long as it’s someone else who’s suffering for it.)

One angle I haven’t seen yet is the fact that the First Lady’s staff operated out of the East Wing. I know the current First Lady wants nothing to do with the role, but this action affects every subsequent First Lady and their staff. They will literally have no office from which to work. Granted, that may suit future MAGA administrations just fine, as they prefer the little wives to stay busy creating and tending to more babies rather than to worry their pretty little heads about doing any work from an office.

His apologists try to bring up the fact that it’s being paid for by the private sector. That does not relieve my suspicions at all. That just means that the Grift House is open for business. If you’ve seen the list of “donors,” you can see that just about everyone has had or will have business before the administration. “You want your project approved by my government, you have to pay.”

They might as well call it the Olde Quid Pro Quo Room.

Now, when all this started to bubble up, my first thought was, “Why would he care so much about a mere ballroom? The White House has been hosting fancy dinners for foreign dignitaries for decades. Why not just put up a couple of giant portraits of the would-be king, himself, slap some gold shit around the edges, and call it a day?”

No, there had to be more. Since he was having it all rebuilt from scratch, I figured there would have to be some secret “special rooms,” something he’d need to be off the books. Something like a protective bunker, something built with today’s best tech, where he could hide out indefinitely, all the while being able to surveil his domain and keep track of what’s being shown on TV. Maybe even have a studio in there from where he could get himself onto Fox and Friends. He could install a special safe to hold the Epstein files that only he could access. And, of course, his own McDonald’s.

Then over the weekend, posts began to appear on social media describing that very thing. What I didn’t know was that the East Wing was already home to the existing emergency bunker, from which he hid out during various riots and uprisings.

Now it all made sense. He knows he’s about to screw with the next elections (if not postpone them indefinitely) and that it would be too unpopular, even with Republicans. He’d need a place to ride out the storm, but in the style with which he is accustomed. (“Bring in some more gold shit! And let’s set up that hotline to McDonald’s!”) He’ll also need it to be impenetrable, so that neither angry mobs nor his own disgruntled troops could easily drag him out of it.

I hope the next non-MAGA president, whenever that will come to pass, will make it his mission on Day One to knock that fucking thing down and build something proper. Something fun and useful. Something everyone can get behind. Like… the People’s Taco Bar! Step right up and have a taco. Unlimited toppings, too! Whether a tourist, local resident, or homeless veteran, free tacos for everyone. Maybe some soft-serve for dessert, too.

At least, it will serve a worthy purpose rather than appease a spoiled child’s ego.

Are you okay with this shit?!